That’s right I have a puppy right here in my lap. He couldn’t be more than 6 weeks old. Got him at the pound this afternoon. Homeless that he was. You should see how cute he is, but it’s hard to tell right this minute if he is cute or not. Mainly cause there is a shotgun obscuring the view. Yep, I have duct taped the business end of a 410 sawed off single barrel to the little fella’s head. Oh, heh heh, he thinks this is a game with his little pink tongue hangin out and looking at me with those big chocolate eyes. He even licked my hand as I slid a double aught buckshot shell into the chamber.
::::sweating::: Now I can tell this ain’t really me Cecil…I am an animal lover but desperate times call for desperate measures and I have tried asking nice for you to post a hello and welcome to me in mpsims… ::cracking knuckles::I can see that pleading ain’t gonna help, so I figure to splatter a few puppies brains all over my den wall, if I don’t see a welcome post from you soon. You want puppy blood on your hands? That’s your choice oh great and holy one. Because I am a trigger pull from disintergrating little sparky’s skull and detaching it from his bod…
Wait…what in the name of all that is holy am I saying? Who am I trying to fool? The great one himself? Geezzz I just came unglued there for a moment Cecil. ::sign:: I guess I am starting to come unwound from the pressure of waiting on you to welcome me.
Facts are I don’t have a puppy nor a shotgun. My ten year old has a pellet gun but it’s out of pellets. Heck I even let my shi-tzu shit on the floor when it’s raining if she wants to, so she won’t get her little bottom wet.
( sorry about the curse word oh holy one.)
My apologies to all you puppy lovers out there too. If it’s one thing I am not, it’s a puppy killer.
Cecil, I hope you are considering posting me a hello sometime before Tuesday midnight. The clock is ticking. My fate is in your hands. Surely I am worth one word. I tell you what. One hello from you and I will wash your ass and drink the water on any busy intersection in any town of your choice at the appointed time of your choosing.
aha, sit down. Just sit down, and breathe. That’s right. Take a few deep cleansing breaths, and settle down.
:::dabs the sweat from aha’s upper lip:::
There, now doesn’t that feel better?
Listen, aha. It’s only Friday. You’ve still got three whole days for this bet. Just relax, now. I have faith that you’ll get an answer. I have faith in you, aha.
Buck up, buddy-boy! It always seems darkest just before the dawn. Well, sometimes it actually is, and things really do suck as badly as you think they do, if not worse. I mean, if Cecil doesn’t show up here, the whole board’s gonna be laughing at you, and that’s really going to suck bad.
Don’t worry about it, though. I understand that Tierra del Fuego is a lovely little place!
aha: You really shoulda given a bit of credit where credit is due as to your inspiration for that piece. I see it, but it ain’t neccessarily so. Leave it up to you…
I think you need counseling, and maybe even medication.
I am not as far out there as you are you, if you need a reference I am sure my doc has one for you.
It’s really time to admit you have a problem, unfortunately the need to brown nose and the need to commit caninacide is not a 12 step program that is readily available.
There may be some program out there for people like you…it’s worth a look, we might even be able to find something on the internet for you.
Maybe we could help you through this in the unofficial Straight Dope chat room. We have healed many a souls in there and it didn’t even involve a religion.
Possibly you just need a hug from someone close or a kind word from those you look up to (outside the internet.)
Do you need an intervention? I am sure we can come together as a group to help you through this difficult time, whatever it takes.
Aha, you never fail to amaze me. The entertainment value in your continued postings to draw Cecil’s attention are nothing short of priceless. No doubt Cecil will let you wait until the very last second if only to find out what you will come up with next.
BTW…I hope the intersection in question is within driving distance, and on one of my days off. I couldn’t find the map at http://www.hotstud.com. So I figure, while you are in an ass-kissing mood…perhaps some of that hot monkey sex would be available. However, if you are truly going to drink the water after washing Cecil down, perhaps we could skip the kissing and such.
I’ll be keeping an eye on the future posts!
learae
HEY NOW!!! Puppies from the pound are free! …but 10 bucks is 10 bucks!! …and excuse me? The man is offering to drink BUTT WATER here… forget the pride part.
aha–consider the fine art of home electro-shock treatments.
Locate an electric socket.
Locate your index & middle fingers, on either hand; but both chosen fingers should be on the same hand. ( We all realize you have trouble with little things like this, aha; but be a brave little soldier and keep trying for Unca Danny.)
3)Locate your mouth. (This should be very easy for you, aha. You use it all the time, & never have any trouble finding it at dinner time.)
LICK YOUR FINGERS (This is also something you do all the time.)
Stick your fingers into the little holes in the electric socket.
Feel the groove, baby.
Do this twice a day for a year, & it will make a new man out of you; and underwrite your local power utility’s building program, too! See? Everybody is happy! Start today!
aha, I think you lost ground on this one. When you play the guilt card, you have to follow though with it.
You want puppy blood on your hands? That was good. Going into the pity routine, well, that was ok. But, not followed by ass kissing. Never, never, never. You have to lay it on heavy and stick with it.
::: passes a Mich to Casdave ::: This is fun to watch.
