Cecil's Evil Plan

Cecil’s Evil Plan

The Doper masses grew in throngs, and much to Cecil’s glee,
He thumbed his stash of member cash, and snickered haughtily.
“Now that I’ve got them hooked,” said he, “like crack or nicotine,”
“I just can’t wait to formulate my brand new pricing scheme.”

“Tinker with the subscription price ~ is what I’ll think I’ll do,”
“Fetch Lynn and Ed,” the Master said, “This fee we must review!”
“They’ll cough up any price” he winked, “to join the family.”
“But how much is fair ~ you are aware ~ is truly up to me.”

“Time to now decide,” – he grinned, “Here’s what I’m gonna do,
To speculate and tabulate this source of revenue.
So users now will not be charged, the yearly members fee,
Here now instead, the cost per thread, is ten bucks, paid to me.”

I sickly silence fell upon the room at Reader land,
Cecil surely shan’t, and can’t, install his evil plan.
The outcry would be long and loud, and surely folks will bolt
Ten bucks a thread! This board is dead! The Dopers will revolt.

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Doper crowd that day,
The Board was still, no threads to kill, ~ because Cecil made ‘em pay,
The scattered few remaining posted threads of wit and class,
“Y’know,” said one, “We’d have more fun, if we’d Pit your greedy ass!”

Elsewhere there are free boards wrought with Trolls as spammers flourished,
Other sites, it seems invites the mentally malnourished.
So Cecil dropped his evil plan, and took the Boards’ advice,
But truth be told; most Dopers polled; thought it cheap at twice that price.

:smiley:

.

meek, that was truly a terrific rhyme you wrote
your ideas I’m sure would pass the vote
that most Dopers wouldn’t pay “per thread”
especially those overlyverbose, who may then lurk instead

The state of the boards would surely be in ruin
down to trolls and flirting threads entitled “how YOU doin”
I’m sure we can imagine the Doper’s disgust
if this turned into a board of silly pre-pube lust

For the sake of those who’d fork up some dough
I made a quick scan of who’d currently owe
**RashakMani ** has four threads in GD, that’s 40 bucks
Second place is SentientMeat with 3 for 30, aw shucks

I think you’ve made it clear that we’ll stay status quo
and hopefully our numbers will continue to grow
and the fight of ignorance will continue on
though the price tag of “free” is foregone.

:smiley:

No…

Must… not… do… it…
Ah… what the hell…

[Sung to the tune of “Convoy” by C.W. McCall]
Cause we are the SDMB
Posting through the night.
Yes we are the SDMB
Ain’t we an awesome sight.

Cecil’s been fighting ignorance
Since 1973
We’re going to do the same now
but we have to pay a yearly fee.

Straight Dope
Straight Dope