I make no guarantees how quickly I’ll post the Raj Ratings (2 kids and the heart of basketball season will do that) and I make no guarantees how many episodes I can handle (although it is screaming high quality TV at this point), but I will try my darnedest.
Frankly, I have high hopes that the big egos and lack of Trump related awe this group brings might lead to some people calling out Trump’s stranger boardroom rants, questions, and decisions. And that has to be a good thing.
Am I the only person that booked himself a half hour of meeting time today to create and analyze the ranking levels to be used for the Celebrity Apprentice contestants?
Anyone? Hello? It’s dark and lonely here in the Bad Reality TV Addiction Basement.
I would SO go!!!
VCNJ~
You’re not alone, sweetie – the rest of us are hugging ourselves in delight that you’re coming out of retirement for this.
Having watched the first episode:
blissful sigh
Apprentice fans – this is the season we’ve been waiting for!
Having missed the first season, I only heard about Omarosa by reputation.
Man is she fierce! I thought for sure that she was a goner (although I suspected she’d be kept for ratings), but she worked it. She praised the right people, criticised the right people, didn’t make her points too personal, she didn’t raise her voice or get too emotional, and she wasn’t too obsequious. And she gets to relax a few weeks because she got her turn as PM out of the way. All and all, a very intelligent, although scary and hateful, woman.
Out of the celebrities, the only ones I recognize are Gene Simmons, the Sopranos guy, and the Baldwin brother. Mary Lou’s name is familiar, but if I ran into her in the street, I wouldn’t know her. So I’m not star struck by any of the players.
This might end up being kind of interesting. At first I thought Gene Simmons was kind of subverting the game by calling rich friends on his cell phone but the other team tried that too and Trump actually fired that girl for not calling her own sugar daddy (Hugh Hefner) to do the same thing. I guess the use of celebrity is going to an important aspect of the game.
There’s nobody I particularly hate or love yet. I suppose Simmons was the most impressive on this task but I don’t think that building is big enough for both his and Trump’s egos.
Monstro, if you ever saw the show, Taxi, that’s what Marilu Henner is most known for.
I think I knew most all of the men, except for the Ultimate Fighting dude, but I only knew a couple of the women (Omarosa, Marilu Henner).
That Olympics chick is hot.
“According to her official contestant bio for The Apprentice, Omarosa was “a former political appointee in the Clinton and Gore White House.”[5] In reality, her main job consisted primarily of answering phone calls. In April 2004, People Magazine broke the story of Omarosa’s unstable tenure in the federal government, noting that she had been “banished from four jobs in two years.”[6] Former colleagues cited her disruptiveness and inability to do her job as reasons for being let go.”
No matter how smart you are, you don’t go very far in business by being an obnoxious, billigerant asshole unless you are somehow personally able to generate a shitload of money.
The problem is that the real business world does not make compelling TV. It’s mosty analysis and meetings and calling clients and dealing with vendors.
Trump has basically fallen into the Real World trap where the audience gets tired of seeing a relatively normal cross section of society do mundane activities. The Real World changed when that moron Puck joined. After that, the execs realized people wanted to see a bunch of psychopaths go at it each week. Shortly after that, they figured people would want to see it even more if they looked like Abercrombie & Fitch models.
So basically Omarossa is Trump’s Puck and he realized the only thing people want to watch more than attractive, unknown lunatics is has-been celebrities.
Wow, that was an even bigger trainwreck than I expected. Clearly, Omarosa is not going to be fired for as long as Trump and/or the producers can milk all the controversy and hatred out of her they can. Which is a lot. She’s an even bigger bitch than I remember, and frankly, that’s a serious achievement. 
I couldn’t have enjoyed more the way everyone kept mispronouncing her name. And you know now that she’s corrected them, they’ll keep doing it for as long as the show is on the air. (Not that she has the moral high ground on that one, of course; Isaak Miz-ar-hee, anyone? 
)
Gene Simmons was a hoot. I cannot wait to see him getting into it with Trump. Ivanka can hold her own with him, I’m sure; but I would hugely enjoy watching him squash Don Jr. flat. Not that that’s hard to do.
All in all, an even more ghastly start to the show than I’d hoped for!
Actually I quite enjoyed it. I mean, I miss the hateable Apprenti and the ridiculous, overblown way that Trump sells everything, from Del Taco to Palmolive soap. And as far as desperate hanging-on-to-fame ploys go, this one is fairly innocuous. Charities get the cash, and it does require some skill to progress in the show.
Interesting mix of Apprentices… that useless Baldwin brother who wasn’t in The Sopranos, Big Pussy, Lennox Lewis, Gene Simmons, some Olympic chick, Marilu Henner, Carol Alt… not a raft of complete losers. Just mildly recognizable “famous” people. And of course, Omarosa. Didn’t take long for her to show her ass.
I love how despite her best efforts, she still can’t escape her own bullheaded idiocy. Case in point: she somehow thought that her team should not use their celebrity to raise cash. Listen, “O,” I’m pretty sure Trump is not going to appoint you to manage his next construction project that’s teetering on bankruptcy. You’re a “celebrity,” the game show equivalent of being in special ed. Everything is going to be dumbed down for you so you don’t look too stupid, and you don’t take it too seriously. So if the goal is to raise money every week, do it through any means necessary. As you all know famous and rich people, ask them! Dolt.
It’s clear they (they? Trump?) want to keep her on the show, because she should have been fired for that idiotic idea of “sticking to sound business principles.” The poor Playmate of the Year just didn’t have any idea of how to defend herself and got shitcanned for giving bad boardroom, rather than being responsible for the loss.
Simmons was impressive. I think KISS were pants, and I seriously do not understand how anyone can be a fan of their music, but he knows how to make a buck. I’m very glad he went the celebrity route instead of skeeving up a faculty lounge in a middle school in New York. Can you imagine that guy around preteen girls? (shudder)
In the latest example of porn crossing over into the mainstream, some dude named Tito is dating Jenna Jameson and she made a guest appearance. I thought it was amusing that she was filmed eating a hot dog… (double shudder)
I think KISS were pants? 
I think Trump fired the right one (as he does almost every time). It has always been about the boardroom, not about the task per se. All the task does is get your team in there. After that, it’s up to you to come out alive. Playboy gal was a weak kitten. Omarosa ate her and spat her out. Producers notwithstanding, Trump had to fire her.
Actually, I question whether Tiffany Fallon should have been dismissed. I think there was merit to her idea of waiting for a bigger task in which to call Hef for help. When you’re engaged in a protracted war, you don’t necessarily bring out all your big guns at the first skirmish.
And I do think that Omarosa’s refusal to rely on their celebrity status was idiotic. Not using too much sex appeal? That’s one thing. That doesn’t mean downplay ing one’s celebrity status, though. (And no, I don’t buy her explanation that she did so because the season one team had been warned about overusing their sex appeal. Celebrity cred isn’t the same as feminine wiles.)
Having said that, surely Ms. Fallon must have known some other heavy hitters with deep pockets. She was Playmate of the Year, for pity’s sake! Those types must surely run with some highly influential media types.
The Playboy chick seemed actually relieved to be fired. She seemed like a nice kid who’s used to being told when to show up, when to smile, when to drop her panties, and just didn’t know how to cope when it was up to her. I don’t think it ever occured to her to make a call to Playboy Enterprises and bring to bear all the resources they can employ to keep Playboy in the news.
[ot – like there *is * a topic when we’re talking Celebrity Apprentice ]Exactly how much plastic surgery has Gene Simmons had? And do you think he’s gunning for an endorsement deal on the shades?[/ot]
Tiffany is married to a member of the country group Rascal Flatts, for crying out loud – surely she has some contacts in the country music universe! I don’t buy her argument that she didn’t know any heavy hitters besides Hefner. Oh well, she didn’t stand a chance up against Omarosa in any case – that woman is a vulture in the boardroom!
Because she Just. Doesn’t. Stop. Talking.
Ring the bell, school is back in session. The ever so humble bastion of virtue, vivacity, vilification, and the voracious vivisection of various vanities (now with 28% more Sharpton-like alliteration) is back. Yes, it’s your friend and mine, The Raj Ratings. As a refresher, I started these back in the second season of The Apprentice as a way to better categorize my utter disdain for pretty much every yokel on the show (excepting the one candidate this is named after of course). I categorize each candidate into some oddball grouping of my choice. Past examples have included Reality TV Shows, Levels of Education, and Famous Ships/Shipwrecks. Well, since Trump can bring back his own manufactured “famous” person with Omarosa, I can decide to segregate these candidates into multiple levels based on contestants from the first season (which is clearly the best season).
Also, for those that don’t remember, I have the magical and unstoppable Perdew-Rancic corollary which basically states that the winner will be the person that Trump and the editing pretty much avoid mocking and teasing through the course of the show. It has been flawless to this point. Once a person has reached a certain level of being shown as a bozo, they really have no chance to win since Trump doesn’t want to be shown picking someone that he has shown to be a knucklehead. This will be a good test of the corollary though since we are talking famous people and charity. I think the mocking may be lighter but Trump will still want to be shown as picking someone worthy, so I think it will all work out. But, it does a good job of quickly picking out finalists and the likely winner.
Week 1 will contain a little more information than normal. Along with each person, their ranking, and my normal witty(?) rejoinders, I’ll mention how much I know about them so you can have an idea of my pre-existing biases.
The Raj Ratings
David – Who? Exactly.
Tiffany Fallon (the breasts of the show) – Actually, she’s also from Atlanta, so I know she sounds fairly intelligent and coherent from radio interviews. That clearly leaves her in the upper echelon on this show. I think it’s pretty clear that Omarosa should have gone based on in-task work. But, Trump has the memory of fruit fly so a really weak boardroom combined with an opponent that thinks a good argument is based on volume and lack of rest breaks will lead to an ouster every time. She clearly did not have what it takes.
Sam – Candidates that are not hated, loved, competent, sane, or normal but provide the combo of unintential comedy, limited shelf life, and way below average results.
Carol Alt (Model) – I clearly remember her SI swimsuit issue days and her fantastic guest appearance on Cheers. I don’t know about unintentional comedy, but she has about as much chance of winning this as I do of winning on amateur night at The Apollo.
Omarosa – Villians and late round cannon fodder kept around solely for editors and the viewing public to mock.
Omarosa (Attention whore) – I can only dream that she angers Lennox Lewis or Tito Ortiz. Really, where else would she have fallen. She took past show experience, enough knowledge of New York foot traffic patterns, and her sparkling personality and failed about as much as expected. She’s clearly here to amuse/anger us which will keep her around longer than necessary but she’ll view it as validation of her awesomeness.
Katrina – Hot chicks, closet wackos, and middle of the road performers.
Vincent Pastore (Italian sterotype) – Never seen the Sopranos so I’ll assume he has some sort of marinara fueled charm. Frankly, most of them will hit this category since it’s just too soon.
Piers Morgan (Editor) – I have no idea who this is, so I’ll just picture Pierce Brosnan in his place since that would be infinitely cooler. Seems OK, I really hope he gets to continually butcher Omarosa’s name and ego.
Nely Galan (Some TV exec with Telemundo) - I have no idea who this is, but I’d like to assume it’s the person responsible for Sabado Gigante, the Gooooooooaaaaalll announcer in soccer, and Bumblebee Man. Hats? Really?
Jennie Finch (Gold medal winning softball pitcher) – Tall, blonde, hot athletes are pretty much right in my wheelhouse (see every girl I ever dated and my wife) so my objectivity is right out the window on this one. The Raj Ratings will definitely go on as long as she’s here. Like most people on an Omarosa team, we’ll see scattered glimpses of her unless she’s the next one to anger the evil one.
Nadia Comaneci (Olympic Gold medal gymnast) – If she’s not flipping around in a leotard, it won’s seem right. Also, I seem to remember she’s a bit nuts, but I really don’t care enough to confirm that. I’m sure this show will prove me right. When you’re this small, you really can fly under the radar.
Trace Adkins (Country singer) – I have heard the name but couldn’t tell you a thing about him, in fact I may have guessed he was actually a female. Well, he’s clearly not afraid of the cowboy label.
Troy – Likeable, maybe even loveable, but you just know they have a ceiling.
Tito Ortiz (Ultimate Fighter) – I assume he’s a big, potentially angry person and that he’s married to some adult film star. And, I think he may not take this too seriously which should help us like him but won’t help him win.
Lennox Lewis (Boxing champ) – He’s been hit in the head multiple times by some very angry people. Apparently this is the category for large muscled fighters. Nothing too irritating, nothing too great.
Kwame – Good to great, but just can’t quite be considered the top dog. But, someone to be reckoned with.
Marilu Henner (Actress) I’ve never seen Taxi, but I do know she’s done a lot of things in the business world since then. I am hopeful. She handles herself fairly well, the question will be how she leads a group of egos.
Gene Simmons (KISS frontman) – Big band, big hair, big tongue, big business. Assuming no ego clashes, off the bat this guy is probably the best real life businessman of all of the contestants and probably should win. The person most likely to reach the Bill level, but it’s just too soon. I think he gets the need to ply his status and connections and he has a good brain in his head. I doubt he gets caught up in too many petty games.
Stephen Baldwin (2nd funniest Baldwin brother, although his is 99% driven by unintentional comdey) – I know him from one good movie (The Usual Suspects), an oddly new religious zeal centered around skateboarding for Christ, and a career resurgence as a celebrity reality show contestant. Frankly, he’s my odds on favorite for no logical reason. I love that he’s essentially playing a role with his in-boardroom actions. Fun to watch. And, he did a pretty good job of basically setting a vague path and getting out of the way of the worker bees. And, he let ideas with potential have the time to germinate. Correctly handling those last 2 sentences are the big difference between someone leaving early and someone making it to the end.
Bill – A diamond in a field of drooling camera hogs. Someone who, whether the team wins or loses, has the look of a finalist and likely winner.
Brian Williams, Mike Huckabee, Barack Obama – Oh wait, that’s just a network interruption.
The Perdew/Rancic Corollary – Clearly, Carol Alt and Omarosa have no chance. The rest are still alive, but I am teetering on Nely Galan.
God, not only a great season – but Raj Ratings to boot.
Life. Is. Good.