Unless you say otherwise, in the past the first alternate automatically moves up, no resubmission needed. That’s how I did it anyway.
Keeping my Dead Letters theme from the last few years, replacing the dead.
Alice Munro
Margaret Atwood
Ursula LeGuin
Philip Roth
George R R Martin
Vernor Vinge
Chuck Palahniuk
Orson Scott Card
Derek Walcott
Stephen King
Toni Morrison
Bob Dylan
Isabel Allende
Fuck it – 2016 has broken me for this game. I’ve lost all heart for doing the research necessary to make a decent set of picks.
So instead, I’m going to assume that the universe knows how badly it fucked up in 2016, and is going to try and make it up to us this year.
With that in mind, I’m going with a list of the worst pieces of walking fecal matter that popped quickly to mind. Unlike the decent humans and special talents that were lost in 2016, none of these shitstains would be missed for a picosecond. From politically to socially to economically to religiously, these fuckholes have all failed at humaning and the mean average of human decency and intelligence couldn’t help but increase without them around.
- Fuck off, Mike Pence
- Fuck you, Steven Crowder
- Fuck you, Milo Yiannopoulos
- You suck, Richard Spencer
- You’re fucking worthless, Steve Bannon
- Fuck you, David “Avocado” Wolfe
- DIAF, Bill O’Reilly
- Fuck off, you’re making the world dumber, Ken Ham
- Stop trying to be fucking relevant, Tila Tequila
- Fuck you, Curt Schilling
- Fuck you, Donald Wildmon
- Fuck off Chachi, Scott Baio
- Go fucking fuck yourself, Vani Hari
Clean list:
Mike Pence
Steven Crowder
Milo Yiannopoulos
Richard Spencer
Steve Bannon
David “Avocado” Wolfe
Bill O’Reilly
Ken Ham
Tila Tequila
Curt Schilling
Donald Wildmon
Scott Baio
Vani Hari
(“What, no Trump?” Nope. He certainly meets all the criteria, but about the only thing worse than this country than “President Trump” would be “President Pence”.)
Reince Priebus - person (blocking an assassination attempt)
Bill Cosby
Stephen Hawking
Glen Campbell
George HW Bush
Jerry Lee Lewis
Mary Tyler Moore
Burt Reynolds
“Mac” Rebennack (Dr. John)
Tommy Chong
Valerie Harper
Shelley Duvall
Joanne Woodward
Rosalynn Carter
Alternates
Jimmy Carter
Henry Kissinger
We could have a new unofficial record/award for the death causing the most alternates to make the main stage rather than remaining as understudies. 
Since A.A. Gill died, it’s time for an updated list:
Mel Stottlemyre (Nov. 13, 1941), former Yankees pithcer
Donald Trump (June 14, 1946), role model for short-fingered vulgarians
Luke Halpin (April 4, 1947), former ‘Flipper’ star
Rush Limbaugh (Jan. 12, 1954), radio pundit
The Amazing Jonathan (John Szelas) (Sept. 9, 1958), magician
Val Kilmer (Dec. 31, 1959), actor
William ‘the Refrigerator’ Perry (Dec. 16, 1962), former Chicago Bear
Gord Downie (Feb. 6, 1964), Tragically Hip lead singer
Leah Bracknell (July 12, 1964), former ‘Emmerdale’ actress
Joost van der Westhuizen (Feb. 20, 1971), South African rugby union player
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (July 28, 1971), ISIS leader
Kseniva Sobchak (Nov. 5, 1981), Russian socialite/critic of Vladimir Putin
Johnny Manziel (Dec. 6, 1992), football player
Alternates:
Slim Dunlap (Aug 14, 1951), replaced Bob Stinson in the Replacements. So if he gets bumped to the main list, he’ll be a replacement Replacement replacement
Tommy Chong (May 24, 1938), comedian
Plain Jane version
Mel Stottlemyre
Donald Trump
Luke Halpin
Rush Limbaugh
The Amazing Jonathan
Val Kilmer
William Perry
Gord Downie
Leah Bracknell
Joost van der Westhuizen
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Kseniva Sobchak
Johnny Manziel
Alternates
Slim Dunlap
Tommy Chong
Has there been big recent news about Amazing Jonathan? I’m well aware of his heart problems, but I have hardly heard any news in 2 years or so. Did something recent happen?
Me too.
I’m in:
Diana Ross
Liza Minnelli
Amazing Jonathan
Robert Redford
Molly Meldrum
Woody Allen
Doris Day
Mikhail Gorbachev
Valerie Harper
Queen Elizabeth II
Glen Campbell
Rolf Harris
Jack Nicholson
Updating for the disturbance in the force:
The Amazing Johnathan
Clive James
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Debbi Reynolds
Mel Stottlemyre
Cher
Liza Minnelli
Gord Downie
Glen Campbell
Shannen Doherty
Nick Cannon
Joost van der Westhuizen
Valerie Harper
Alternates:
Bryan Murray
Mary Tyler Moore
Scott Putesky
Burt Reynolds
Clint Eastwood
Sean Connery
Hugh Hefner
Larry Flynt
Robert Mugabe
Jerry Lewis
Don Rickles
Sarah Silverman
Tina Fey
Bill Cosby
Alternates
Charlie Sheen
Paul McCartney
Ringo Starr
Apparently, he’s getting better and plans to start performing again.
Dr. Luke
Donald Trump
Bashar Assad
Justin Bieber
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
Pat Robertson
Kim Kardashian
Hassan Nasrallah
Joe Namath
Pete Rose
Vin Scully
Tommy Lasorda
Little Richard
Alternates:
James Taylor
Bob Seger
This is my first ever time playing. Hopefully each of the first eight on my list die in 2017. The remaining 5+2 were picked somewhat randomly from the sports and music worlds.
Entries are thirteen celebrities. You need three more.
Resubmitted
Clint Eastwood
Sean Connery
Hugh Hefner
Larry Flynt
Robert Mugabe
Jerry Lewis
Don Rickles
Sarah Silverman
Tina Fey
Bill Cosby
Charlie Sheen
Paul McCartney
Ringo Starr
My picks.
Alberto Fujimori
Bashir al-Assad
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Luiz Inacio “Lula” da Silva
Queen Elizabeth II
Recep Tayyip Erdoğan
King Abdul Halim of Kedah
Emir Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah
Sultan Ahmad Shah of Pahang
Emperor Akihito
Pedro Pablo Kucziynski
King Salman bin Abdulaziz al-Saud
King Harald V of Norway
**Alternates
**Ali Khamenei
Prince Charles of Wales
David Attenborough
Candice Bergen
Mel Brooks
Dick Cheney
Shannon Doherty
Stephen Hawking
Hamid Karzai
Jerry Lewis
Lindsey Lohan
Bernie Madoff
Bob Newhart
Ozzy Osbourne
Keith Richards
Alternates:
Michael Douglas
Charles, Prince of Wales
You’re gonna have to update again, as Debbie Reynolds, that lovely dancer and singer who starred in Singin in the Rain, has passed. She’s no longer unsinkable either.
This is pretty much my list from last year, replacing the one guy I was unable to save (Bernard Fox)— and the one woman I had on my list (Dawn Wells) because statistically men earn more points from dying then women, and someone else picked her already this year.
××××××××
Len Dawson (Former QB)
Alan Simpson (Former Senator)
Clark Howard (Money Expert)
Tony Dow (Wally)
Ronnie Schell (Duke Slater)
David Selby (Quentin Collins)
Joe Wurzelbacher (Plumber)
Ivan Koloff (Former Pro Wrestler)
Mel Renfro (Dallas Cowboy)
Burt Ward (Robin)
Ernest “Fritz” Hollings (Former Senator)
Colin Dexter (Author)
Harry Dean Stanton (Character Actor)
Alternates:
Leon Spinks (Boxer)
Eric Braeden (Young and Restless)
Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)
×××××
CleanList:
Len Dawson
Alan Simpson
Clark Howard
Tony Dow
Ronnie Schell
David Selby
Joe Wurzelbacher
Ivan Koloff
Mel Renfro
Burt Ward
Ernest “Fritz” Hollings
Colin Dexter
Harry Dean Stanton
Alternates:
Leon Spinks
Eric Braeden
Roger Waters