Celebrity Death Pool 2018

The Game Room
121

This is so tough. I keep changing my mind. But as of now:

Len Dawson (former KC QB)
Alan Simpson (former senator)
Frederick Forsyth (author)
Tony Dow (actor)
Ronnie Schell (actor)
Richard Bach (author)
Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri (The Iron Sheik, pro wrestler)
John LeCarre (author)
John Mahoney (actor)
Mel Renfro (former Dallas Cowboy)
Burt Ward (actor)
Ernest “Fritz” Hollings (former senator)
Ken Osmond (actor)

Alternates:

Clark Howard (money expert)
Leon Spinks (boxer)
Roger Waters (musician)

Clean list:

Len Dawson
Alan Simpson
Frederick Forsyth
Tony Dow
Ronnie Schell
Richard Bach
Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri
John LeCarre
John Mahoney
Mel Renfro
Burt Ward
Ernest “Fritz” Hollings
Ken Osmond

Alternates:

Clark Howard
Leon Spinks
Roger Waters

122

I better get in here now so I don’t forget, like 2 years ago:

Clean list:
Betty White
Billy Graham
Bob Barker
Charlie Sheen
David Foster
George H.W. Bush
Hosni Mubarak
Jimmy Carter
John McCain
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Stan Lee
Stephen Hawking
Valerie Harper

Alternates:
Bob Newhart
Carol Burnett
Dick Cheney

Annotated list:
Betty White – actress
Billy Graham - evangelist
Bob Barker - host
Charlie Sheen – actor
David Foster - composer
George H.W. Bush - former US president (Bush the Sr)
Hosni Mubarak – former president of Egypt
Jimmy Carter – former U.S. president
John McCain - senator
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh – husband of Queen Elizabeth (UK)
Stan Lee - cartoonist
Stephen Hawking – physicist
Valerie Harper – actress

Alternates:
Bob Newhart - actor
Carol Burnett – actress/comedian
Dick Cheney – former US vice president

123

Dropping Graham as the 4th alternate (although I am happy to see him expire)

124

Re-posting my list from 2017 in its entirety:

125

Cool with that. I was trimming from a list of over 50 old/and new bastards.

126

I’m playing the odds, not going for points. The maximum I could get, if all of these wonderful actors dropped dead in early January, is 59. The first four are over 100 already.

Norman Lloyd
Olivia de Havilland
Kirk Douglas
Marsha Hunt
Carol Channing
Betty White
Carl Reiner
Doris Day
Eva Marie Saint
Dick van Dyke
June Lockhart
Angela Lansbury
Sidney Poitier

Alternates:
Joe Turkel
Conrad Janis
Peggy Dow

127

George H.W. Bush
George W. Bush
Jimmy Carter
Rossalyn Carter
William Shatner
Joan Collins
Clint Eastwood
Bob Newhart
Jim Brown
Brooks Robinson
Frank Robinson
Billy Williams
Whitey Ford

Alternates
Bobby Cox
Linda Evans
Heather Locklear
Jim Brown is the NFL hall of fame running back. Billy Williams is the MLB Hall of Fame OF from the Cubs. Bobby Cox was the manager of the Atlanta Braves. Everyone else is self explanatory.

128

Here is a list of (mostly) old people who are likely to live one more year. They can thank me later.

Hal Holbrook
Petula Clark
Tina Louise
Tim Curry
Terry Gilliam
Elizabeth 2
David Attenborough
Cubby O’brien
Mel Brooks
Billy Dee Williams
Chuck Yeager
Stefán Karl Stefánsson
Tim Conway

Alternates:
Stanislaw Burzynski
Bob Barker
Bob Newhart

129

Year number 4 for me. My first year, I had 2, followed by 4, then 5 this year. If this trend continues…look out!

David Berkowitz (criminal, aka. Son of Sam)
Pat Bowlen (owner, Denver Broncos)
Matt Cappotelli (wrestler)
Rod Carew (baseball player)
Valerie Harper (actor)
James Harris (wrestler, aka. Kamala)
Artie Lange (comedian)
John McCain (politician)
Chris Rea (musician)
Michael Schumacher (car racer)
Mel Stottlemyre Sr. (baseball player/coach)
Johnathan Szeles (magician, aka. The Amazing Johnathan)
Melissa Young (model)

Alternate:
William “Refrigerator” Perry (football player)

Clean List:

David Berkowitz
Pat Bowlen
Matt Cappotelli
Rod Carew
Valerie Harper
James Harris
Artie Lange
John McCain
Chris Rea
Michael Schumacher
Mel Stottlemyre Sr.
Johnathan Szeles
Melissa Young

Alternate:
William “Refrigerator” Perry

130

Clean list:
Dylann Roof
Bill Cosby
Henry Kissinger
Leah Bracknell
Emperor Akihito
Greg Gilbert
Honor Blackman
Buzz Aldrin
Gene Hackman
Kim Woo-bin
Gay Talese
Dingko Singh
Gene Patton

Alts:
Stan Lee
Tommy Chong
Jimmy Carter
Annoted:
Dylann Roof – Mass murderer/shiv-bait
Bill Cosby – Pudding-peddler and roofie-lover
Henry Kissinger – Former Secretary of State
Leah Bracknell – English actress
Emperor Akihito – Emperor of Japan
Greg Gilbert – Singer for indie band Delays
Honor Blackman – Actress
Buzz Aldrin – Moonwalker
Gene Hackman – Actor
Kim Woo-bin – South Korean model/actor
Gay Talese - Writer
Dingko Singh – Boxer
Gene Patton – Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine

131

The problem with picking people this age is that they’ve spend decades not dying and they’ve gotten really good at it.

132

Damn right.

133

Gene Patton died in 2015

134

Shannen Doherty
John McCain
Roman Polanski
Tommy Chong
Vivian Campbell
George H.W. Bush
Lil Wayne
Prince Philip
Ben Affleck
Don King
Judy Blume
Jerry Sandusky
Emma Roberts

Alternate:

Riley Keough

135

Steve Gleason
Ron Jeremy
Big Van Vader
Suge Knight
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Elle King
Mike Tyson
Val Kilmer
O.J. Brigance
John Edward Szeles
Tommy Chong
Larry Flynt
Ron Wood

Alternate:
George Wendt

136

My wingsuit flying and base jumping themed list for 2017 was quite the failure, so now I’m struggling making up my mind: Same approach again or try something different?

I’m giving it another go but with different names. So here is my 2018 list of wingsuit pilots and base jumpers who can be assured that their mind-boggingly dangerous sport will leave them unharmed during the following calendar year:

Luigi Cani
Gary Connery
Tony Uragallo
Jeb Corliss
James Boole
Roberta Mancino
Zak Tessier
Hank Caylor
Matt Gerdes
Espen Fadnes
Robert Pecnik
Fraser Corsan
Eric Dossantos

(Some of them already survived major accidents and falls.)

Alternate: John Madden
(for variation, owing to his well-known aversion to flying)

137

Haven’t played for a couple of years - but it seems that most of the people on my 2015 list are still hanging on, so I’m going to recycle the survivors.

The following people will enjoy unusually good health in 2018:

Pope Emeritus Benedict
John McCain
George H. W. Bush
Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh
Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoine
Pete Doherty
Alan Greenspan
Shane MacGowan
Keith Richards
Donald Trump
Aretha Franklin
Sir David Attenborough
Robert Redford

Alts:

Willie Nelson
Clint Eastwood

138

O. J. Simpson
Liza Milelli
Justin Bieber
Caitlyn Jenner
Charlie Sheen
Jimmy Carter
Keith Richards
Ginger Baker
Lindsay Lohan
Artie Lange
Michael J Fox
Kim Jong-un
Mike Tyson

Alts
George H. W. Bush
Betty White
Bob Barker

139

Haven’t had a lot of time to think about my 2018 list, but here’s what I’ve thrown together. Still hoping that I can get some points out of that guy on top of the list.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (b. 7/28/71)
Johnathan Szeles (b. 9/9/58)
John “TotalBiscuit” Bain (b. 7/8/84)
Michael Schumacher (b. 1/3/69)
Leah Bracknell (b. 7/12/64)
John McCain (b. 8/29/36)
Fernando Ricksen (dutch soccer star) (b. 7/27/76)
Devin Lima (LFO) (b. 3/18/77)
Stefan Karl Stefansson (actor) (b. 7/10/75)
Greg Gilbert (Delays) (b. 12/7/77)
Geoff Fox (weatherman) (b. 7/20/50)
Spanky Manikan (actor) (b. 3/22/42)
Larry Garza (comedian) (age 35)

Alternate:
Vivian Campbell (Def Leppard, etc.) (b. 8/25/62)

Clean list:

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Johnathan Szeles
John Bain
Michael Schumacher
Leah Bracknell
John McCain
Fernando Ricksen
Devin Lima
Stefan Karl Stefansson
Greg Gilbert
Geoff Fox
Spanky Manikan
Larry Garza

Alternate:
Vivian Campbell

140

Judd Hirsch - actor
Terry Jones - actor
Patricia Routledge - actor
Tim Curry - actor
William Shatner - actor
George Hamilton - actor
Olivia Newton John - singer/actor
Penny Marshall - actor
Jeannie Little - Australian television personality
Clive James - writer
Albert Finney - actor
Lee Radziwill - socialite
Richard O’Sullivan - actor
Alts:
Bert Newton - Australia actor
George H W Bush - former US President

Clean list:
Judd Hirsch
Terry Jones
Patricia Routledge
Tim Curry
William Shatner
George Hamilton
Olivia Newton John
Penny Marshall
Jeannie Little
Clive James
Albert Finney
Lee Radziwill
Richard O’Sullivan