The second one does not involve exceeding c. (In some versions of the first the lady is named WHITE.)
Can you come up with any fresh ones? I prefer the second type. It would be great to have some to present at a colleague’s talk about Russell’s ABC of Relativity Thursday evening.
There once was a fencer named Fisk,
Whose speed was incredibly brisk.
So fast was his action,
The Fitzgerald contraction,
Foreshortended his foil to a disk.
Thank you! I had been pondering one about contraction, but without success.
Despite what the Enterprise “knows,”
Their knowledge of speed-of-light blows.
Poor Scotty, alas
Does not have the brass
To tell Kirk the ship never goes.
(Lame, I admit)
“Warp two,” Kirk calls, rather sour,
Hoping for ultra-light power.
The gauge says 8c,
But only for he:
The damn ship goes eight miles an hour.
(Not much better)
I’ll take them!
Practically nobody cared
When Al told them “E’s mc squared.”
But now we have qualms
About nuclear bombs.
In fact, we’re pathetically scared.
Frank and Dave took a whole lotta time
For the Earth to Jupiter climb.
The problem, you see:
It’s the wrong movie.
Darth Vader? Four seconds. The slime!
There was a young man named O’Darrighty
Who lived in a singularity,
He said that it’s suprisin’
That the event horizon
Prevents him from breaching causality.
When physics seeks to get its wacky on
But it’s highly of use
Through a physical noose
Instead of forward it goes backy-on
A peculiar beast is the tachyon
She scoffed when I offered a lift
“That car isn’t sporty”, she sniffed
But look how it goes
So fast that it shows
Scarlet when viewed in red-shift
Thanks to all who replied! 