For some reason I would never think twice about going out with a couple and dropping a couple hundred dollars on dinner and drinks but when it came to buying myself a tool for my home shop I would usually buy in the lower to middle price range. I use my tools a lot and can justify buying good tools as I do for my job as a mechanic but for some reason could never allow myself that luxury.
Since I retired I changed the rules, I no longer or seldom treat for dinners and drinks and now buy myself good tools when needed or sometimes just when I want to.
I was raised to be sweet to everyone, and that family was everything.
A few years ago I cut all contact with certain family members (some cousins and a half-brother) who were toxic, deranged, rude or just plain insufferable. I no longer believe you have to put up with someone just because they’re “blood kin”.
I used to have a rule to finish every book I started even if it turned out to be disappointing or boring or eye-rollingly stupid. Nowadays, I don’t bother. If it sucks, don’t read it! Very liberating.
Grin! I went through exactly that same change. I finished an entire series of books, back in the 70’s, hoping that at some point it would get good. It never did.
Personal rules should be a little like Jewish Kosher laws. They’re laws; they mean something, and you don’t break them…except when you have to. If a Jew is starving to death, and he finds a cache of food in a lonely cabin, and it’s all canned ham…he gives thanks for the food and eats it in order to live. He can purify himself later.
I have a personal “will not kill” rule. I used to go out with my little shotgun and murder rabbits, as a sick kind of emotional catharsis. Not “hunting” in any way: it was a way of expressing bottled-up rage. I turned 18, and swore it off. Too unhealthy. (And…what did the rabbits ever do to me?) So, now, I won’t kill animals…but if I had to, to stay alive, I’d break the rule.
I still remember the wonderful sense of freedom when I realized that I didn’t have to finish I Will Fear No Evil. Up until then I’d finished every book I started–but Senile Period Heinlein was just too much, and I made a life-altering decision.
I lost my belief in magical thinking and superstition. Growing up in a first generation Italian household, superstitions governed a LOT of our daily activities. They were a mix of religion, folklore and tradition…and while they are kind of amusing, they serve no purpose in life, other than to scare a person into doing or not doing a particular thing.
We pretty much had a superstition for everything…no hats in the bed, no new shoes on the table, don’t cut the bread at both ends, don’t laugh in a Friday, don’t do this, that, etc. Exhausting.
I’ve lost my filter at work. I used to try to be nice and avoid conflict with others even when I knew they were wrong, but dammit - I know what I’m talking about! If someone can give me a compelling reason that I’m off base, I’ll listen, but I have no problem arguing with people now on the big things that matter (though sometimes in private if it can help someone else avoid embarrassment - just because I’m right, doesn’t mean I need to be rude).
I also used to keep a bunch of crap I don’t need. I’m by nature a very acquisitive person. Now if I have something come in the house, something has to leave the house.
Ditto on orderfire’s rule of finishing books. I spend most of my day reading and arguing sometimes hundreds of pages of law; forcing myself to read something I hate as an extracirricular activity is unnecessary at this point.
Most of my life I’ve worked for/with friends. Never again. I’ll be friendly with people I work with but I’ll never again take a job because of who the boss is or who works there.
Up until then I’d finished every book I started–but Senile Period Heinlein was just too much, and I made a life-altering decision. 