He’s also been brainwashed by Poison Ivy at least once, had to walk away from at *least *one romance (Catwoman). Found out his best friend from childhood was basically a serial killer. Had another one of his sidekicks paralyzed by the Joker (Barbara Gordon), had one of his only friends become a member of the rogues gallery (Harvey Dent). Spent time taking pot shots from the combined rogues gallery during a hostage situation in Arkham Asylum. The list goes on.
And people are constantly swiping his ‘hypothetical’ and ‘just in case’ contingency plans, with bad results. Steph was killed after trying to prove herself with his little ‘controlled’ gang war, Ra’s al Ghul almost wiped out the Justice League with his contingency plans, Max Lord stole Brother I and set off the whole OMAC thing…
Come to think of it, that’s not so much bad luck as really, really crappy planning, on several counts.
Oh, and of course Eek!, the cat. His misfortune is hilariously complimented by his catchphrase, “It never hurts to help!”. Oh, but it always does, Eek!. It always does.
Said catchphrase was often followed by his other catchphrase, “Oh gosh it hurts!”
I miss that show.
You forgot having his heart broken by a doctor who ended up leaving, while he also had to watch buddy George Clooney get all the good tail.
They have horns?
Milhouse Van Houten is pretty luckless too.
I think the poster meant “burnt lesbian”. The house was on fire, ya know.
Never really watched the show but what about the entire cast of “Little House on the Prairie”?
Just watched the movie Out of Africa the other day and it struck me how unlucky the main character was:
Marries a man she doesn’t love (well, that was her choice I’ll grant that)
Gets syphilis from her husband
Boyfriend leaves her
Husband keeps coming back to borrow money from her
Farm burns down
and then
Robert Redford’s plane crashes
Nothing good happens to her in the whole movie!!!
I submit Chief Miles Edward O’Brian, of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
He has:
Died and been replaced by his future self
Been arrested, tortured, sentenced to death, and tried by the Cardassians (in that order)
Been arrested and forced to endure implanted memories of a life sentence in prison
Nearly taken his own life due to said implanted memories
Been cloned, and had to allow the clone temporarily take over his life
Had his best friend replaced by a shapeshifter for several months
Had his wife possessed by an evil entity which blackmailed him into doing its bidding
Had his daughter spontaneously aged from 5 years old to a teenager
“In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man. Thank you. Oh, also… my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thanks again.”
I think there’s a movie of it, so I’ll go with Jude the Obscure. That guy couldn’t catch a break.
AND his worst enemy killed his first true love and framed him for it.
And, while in prison on his first adult visit to Atlantis, his sees a striking older woman for the first time pass by his cell. This happens several times, until one day he doesn’t see her. Asking around, he finds out that it was his mother. So he breaks out and leaves Atlantis. He’s hailed as their hero…after he leaves, and never gets to see his parents at all or tell them he lived (not that they would have cared).
And didn’t he have to kill his wife, in fact?
Jimmy Stewart’s character in Vertigo. It makes me wonder what state he’s in after the movie ends and if he’ll ever recover.
Archie Andrews.
Falling down, dropping stuff, breaking things, making his parents furious with him, making his teachers furious with him, making his coach furious with him, making his principal furious with him, making his girlfriend furious with him, making his girlfriend’s father furious with him, making his alternate plan-B girlfriend furious with him, flunking courses, detention, getting clobbered by Big Moose----and then, there’s Reggie Mantle…
There’s Vash the Stampede from Trigun, although the argument can be made that the majority of his misfortunes are to some extent self-inflicted. (Ever hear of the phrase: “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”, ya damn pacifist? :mad: )
Ditto a lot of the villains in shonen comics, because they can’t just be eeeeeeebil, they also have to have horrifyingly traumatic pasts so you can feel sorry for them.
Any soap opera heroine. I don’t even watch Days of Our Lives but since the women in my family watched it religiously at one point I know that Dr. Marlena Evans
*has been presumed dead numerous times
*was held prisoner for years (presumed dead) on a tropic island where her captor, Stefano DiMera (who has been killed numerous times herself) did all sorts of nasty things that involved her eggs and DNA (though she has no memory of it)
*Has survived numerous kidnappings by deranged nurses and her nemesis Stefano
*Shagged a man for years thinking he was her husband (who had been presumed dead but came back with a different face, height, and hair texture given him one of Stefano’s other tropic islands) but it turned out he really wasn’t
*Saw her children age from infancy to teenagers in about two or three years
*Was possessed by Satan (but Stefano managed to drive him out between kindapping her and having her presumed dead)
*Has been divorced numerous times, though I’m not sure how you’d count the validity of the marriages since at least two of her husbands were presumed dead but weren’t
*Had to deal with the brutal murder of her identical twin sister (who people presumed was Marlena) who has been embalmed and buried for 20 years or so now and is presumed dead
*Endured a bout of homicidal schizophrenia for a while, killing most of Salem (though it turned out they weren’t really dead, just presumed dead and held hostage on one of Stefano’s tropic islands)
*Had to endure the trial/sentencing/and beheading of her husband (who wasn’t really) in a small town one week (for small towns do that- no appeals process, just the guillotine) but luckily he was somehow saved at the last second
And those are the ones that come to mind and nobody I currently know still watches the show so God knows what she’s been through in the past few years.
The Three Stooges.
Can anybody top that?
Has anyone mentioned the guy from Office Space? Who had nothing but a stapler and mmm I’m going to have to go ahead and take that…
But he got the last laugh, didn’t he? Didn’t he end up on a tropical island being served drinks with little umbrellas? 