Charlie Evans, the Next Generation

Cafe Society
1

I watched TOS’s Charlie X last night, and I had a thought - what if Picard, rather than Kirk, had found him?

The downright puritanical attitudes of late 23rd century humans was a sight to behold! Here we have Charlie, never seen another live human is 14 years. All he knows of how to interact is through whatever videos were on the ship when it crashed. Cab you imagine learning how to act from watching only Survivor or Dallas? Charlie needs a lot of help, not being laughed at becasue he falls wrong, or interrupts, or says the wrong thing.

So how do Kirk & co. teach Charlie the proper way of acting?

When Charlei slaps Rand on the ass she can’t even explain why that’s wrong. She can’t even say any word synonymous such as butt, hiney, gluteus maximus, buttocks, even bottom. So, she sends him to Kirk. Kirk knows women! The sum total of Kirk’s “advice” is, “Well, um, er, there are things you can do with a lady, er, Charlie, that you er. There’s no right way to hit a woman. I mean, man to man is one thing, but, er, man and woman, er, it’s, er, it’s, er. Well it’s, er, another thing. Do you understand?”

And, “you go slow. You be gentle. I mean, it’s not a one-way street, you know, how you feel and that’s all. It’s how the girl feels, too. Don’t press, Charlie. If the girl feels anything for you at all, you’ll know it. Do you understand?”

And you can tell by Charlie’s expression that Kirk might as well be speaking Klingon, or Dog, for all the “help” he’s giving him. How is that advice helpful? Charlie doesn’t know the unwritten rules we’ve all learned from birth. He has no way of “knowing” it. He probably doesn’t even know what a one-way street it!

So why can’t those enlightened 23rd century humans even talk about the problem, talk about sex, (Doctor McCoy could probably explain the biological conditions.) rather than just start day one with lessons in fighting (excuse me, falling)?

Now imagine if TNG Enterprise has been the ship he was sent to. While Picard might hate kids, he does have access not only to a trusted, somewhat useful counsellor who is actually trained in such matters, but he also has a trusted 17 year old right there on the bridge! Having Wes hang out with Charlie, show him the ropes, guide him, let him know that in an understandable way that everyone is just muddling through might have made a difference.

I wonder if Charlie might have become a well adjusted member of society, though one with super human abilities?

2

Actually, Data would be the best one to teach him, having had to learn all the same stuff himself, and totally understanding the difficulties of learning human culture with an adult brain.

Unfortunately, Riker would be put in charge of teaching him the “girl stuff.” He’d take him down to the bar and fill him full of ethyl alcohol and chauvinistic crap, upon which Guinan would sneak a strong drink on Riker, send him to bed, and then quietly teach Charlie everything he needs to know to be the greatest ladies’ man who ever lived. Cut to following evening, Riker sitting alone and bemused while Charlie sits surrounded by women. . .

3

I like your version.

They should have remade this one instead of Naked Time.

4

Picard’s Enterprise also has the Holodeck which (for once) could be used for a useful purpose - to provide a variety of safe simulated social situations that Charlie could learn in.

5

All I can think of is the 23rd century version of Avenue Q. The Holodeck is for Porn.

6

In terms of ST hypotheticals, I’d be far more interested in a story that almost made it to print. “What if the Botany Bay had been found by the Enterprise-D?”

7

Back in the wild and woolly days of the early internet, on one of the rec.arts.startrek groups there was a fan fic series that I recall being pretty good at the time where someone was putting the TNG crew into the TOS story lines. I want to say it went on long enough to do all of them. It was interesting.

8

You mean, like The Naked Now, a retelling in their own present? Or by putting Picard and co in the 2260?

9

All I can think of is “No laughing”!

10

Basically taking the premise of the TOS episode but having it happen to the TNG Enterprise.

11

I guess the Antares were an early version of Q. Just like the Squire of Gothos. Maybe not Q but a similar species.

Charlie had very dangerous powers. I’m not sure he could have lived among humans. He blew up a ship just by thinking about it.

I always wished they would have revisited Charlie and the Antares in a TNG episode. Learn more about them and see Charlie as a mature adult.

12

Whoops, the aliens were Thasians.

The ship Charlie blew up was the Antares.

These made up fictional Trek names are hard to keep straight. :smiley:

I think this was the only time the Thasians are mentioned in Trek? Basically the alien of the week approach to TV.

13

Then send him after the Borg and the Dominion.

14

It’s funny how much the Federation resists change.

In the fanfic of Marla McGivers’ POV (linked in the Khan thread) there is an attitude that “normal” humans fear the true improved humans, and that we should embrace them to keep us safe from the evil Others. The story presented it as a weakness.

Consider if humans embraced the Q-like powers. Send shiploads of people through the galactic barrier. Sure, not everyone will be changed. But those that were would be a superior human. No Borg or Dominion could win a fight against Mitchell. I don’t even think they could be assimilated.

A lot of normals would surely be killed while the god-like humans got their shit sorted out, but could you imagine a sustained race of Mitchells with some experience? Maybe they could be the next stage of human evolution. Maybe that would be a good thing? Stop with all this petty shit and fighting over political systems. Would the sum total of human happiness increase if we were all superbeings?

Of course, maybe once they did get the whole enormous powers thing sorted out they’d just leave this mundane world behind and join the Q-continuum. Or just hang out with the Organians, or the Doud, or the Melcot, or the Thalasians, and do whatever superbeings do all day.

15

You’re all working with the wrong premise. Charlie, like Trelane The Squire of Gothos, is a Q, or at least a real close relative. Picard already dealt with one of those (Amanda in True Q.) And the resolution worked out the same way, Charlie got sucked back with the Thasians and Amanda chose to go with Q. Problem solved.

16

What about bringing Q to Avenue Q?

17

I think the violence of the Eugenics Wars made Humanity in Trek’s Timeline very hesitant about artificially improving Humanity which was then passed on to the Federation as a whole. That is my Fankwank reasoning why Genetic Engineering and Cybernetics barely come up in Star Trek and TNG despite being 250 and 350 Years in the future.

18

Absolutely.

You know…I’m thinking the problem lies in TELLING augments they are sooooooo superior to lowly humans.
As far as the OP…I’m going with the Thasians interp. Kirk offered all that stuff. It doesn’t matter what century Charlie lived in, the end result is the same. I suppose Picard could ask Q to help or take Charlie under his wing rather than letting Charlie die with only Thasians for company. Q would probably offer to kill the little mutant hybrid and that’s about it.

“Picard! That thing is an abomination. You’re much better off letting me destroy it.”