Chef Tony the knife-monger, Jack's Power-Juicer and the gaffs with them

Cafe Society
1

I watch quite a bit of television late at night, and I have seen this Chef Tony with knifes for sale. They look like good knifes, but am I right in assuming that his technique is pretty much the only thing that makes these knifes look good?

I’ve also seen Jack LaLanne hawking his new juicing machine – they “compare” it with another “inferior” model. Well, sure, Jack, your juicer is going to out-class anyone’s machine “by 30%” as long as you shove the apple at lightning speed through the opposing apparatus (against the owner’s manual directions, BTW) while you take your sweet time with the apple on your machine.

I find it amusing to dissect the claims in my spare time (whenever the hamsters take their coffee-break, for instance :wink: ). Does anyone else do the same thing and have any other examples?

2

I think “Chef Tony” is none other than Tony Hoffman, veteran infommercial pitchman going back to the 1980s at least, when his specialty was real estate and his infommercial co-host was the late Bob Braun.

3

What would cause me to ever have to saw through an empty soda can moments before I needed to perfectly slice a tomato?

4

Last time I saw one of those juicer commercials, Eyebrow Man was telling us about the magic “ENZYMES” in fruit juice that would turn you into Superman if you drank it. Problem is, enzymes, like all proteins, get digested in the stomach. You don’t absorb entire proteins intact and put them to use. That’s just stupid.