I’m sick of it. The steady drip of annoyance has now reached Pit level.
When did the word “chemical” suddenly become synonymous with everything that is bad in the modern world? Everything is made of chemicals. If you can see it, smell it, touch it, taste it, sit on it or have sex with it, it’s made of fuckin’ chemicals. OK?
Our Golden 86 Wheat is Certified Chemical Free! Yeah? Well, looks like you’ll be going hungry with that vacuum bread, fuckwits.
We sell chemical free computers! Really? No plastic case to stop the components falling out? Oh, wait, they don’t have any fucking components, because they are made of chemicals too.
Chemical Free Mint Conditioner. Lemme see now - “Ingredients: Purified Water, Natural Glycerin, Soybean Oil, Vegetable Oil, Natural Oil of Spearmint, Panthenol, Carotene, Vitamin E (D-Alpha Tocopherol), Olive Leaf Extract, Ginger Extract, Chamomile Extract, Comphrey Root Extract, Rosemary Extract.” OK now, even if we cheat and don’t count water is a chemical (which it is), you’ve got 1,2,3-propanetriol (glycerin), n-octadecan-9-enoic acid (soybean oil), ®-1-methyl-4-isopropenyl-6-cycloxen-2-one (spearmint oil), and countless others I can’t even be bothered to type out.
And another thing. Just because something is “natural”, and is squeezed out of roots, or flowers, or leaves, or whatever, doesn’t mean it is “safe”! Some of the deadliest fucking poisons known to man are found naturally in plants, courtesy of Mother Nature. By the same token, just because something has been made in a lab by scientists doesn’t mean it is evil and toxic. In fact, many times it will be a hell of a lot purer than the so-called “natural” product, because it will have been made to order rather than extracted from loads of other shite.
And don’t even get me started on the people who are selling low-calorie energy bars:
Yeah, that definition of the word “calorie” can be a fucker to get around, can’t it.