Brand new sentence, there.
Niemann’s lawsuit never had much chance of getting anywhere.
But the fact he’s back invited to the major tournaments, including chess.com events, and has had impressive results without anyone batting an eyelid, I think says all that need to be said about the Sinquefield allegation.
Let alone the anal beads meme that will be associated with him now for life.
Guess you’ve got a challenge to occupy you over the holidays, eh?
May not need to do that. The computer probably has a good idea of what the opponent’s responses might be so the player only need to respond “yes” to one of them when queried.
Not to mention if you’re stricken with a bad bout of flatulence during a match, you could have a very bizarre game.
It’s probably still an easier skill to learn than playing grandmaster-level chess.
Coincidentally, just days earlier I ran across a video from “Your Friendly Proctologist,” advocating just the sort of anal clenching exercises that would be effective here. Still, the recommendation was to hold for a few seconds at a time. That’s not a very high bitrate. But perhaps, with additional practice, one could apply a specific amount of pressure, transmitting two or three bits at a time. One could adjust the timing as well. Phase-amplitude modulation, but for your sphincter.
And now I have unpleasant mental associations with the idea of the telegrapher’s “fist”. 
Might it be easier to just learn chess?
Well, sure, you could learn to play International Grand Master level chess…if you want to take the easy way out…
Didn’t you know kids in school who put more effort into cheating than it would have taken to play by the rules?