Chess Is Not Satanic–Thank Ghod We Cleared That Up!
Yes, my little psuedo-intellectuals, you may go about your business, merrily play chess, & not worry about being dragged off to Aich-EEE-doubletoothpicks.
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,8505838%5E401,00.html
This mindset makes me twitch.
What get people this way, anyhow?
Really? I like to shove rooks up my ass when I’m summoning the Prince of Lies. Improves my concentration.
To be fair, in the particular locations described in the article, there has been a revival of interest in ill-informed, half-baked mystico-religious explorations in the last 15 years, in great measure a backlash at what little good did 74 years of “scientific socialism” (and from what I’ve been reading, seems to be picking up where they left pre-1917).
To the unnamed parishioner’s credit, at least she figured out she should ask someone who knows better before going off on a Campus Chess Crusade. OTOH it is kinda sad to realize she would have taken whatever answer the Bishop gave unquestioningly (e.g. the evil Bishop JRD would have told her “only if you play white on Tuesdays and Fridays and black on Mondays and Wednesdays, and overuse the Sicilian Defense”) As to what gets people in that mindset… well sometimes people either already crave, or are conditioned into needing, to know if every last possible action is allowed or forbidden – because they totally fear that the slightest deviation will damn them.
Based on the somewhat ambiguous tone of the article, I wonder if the young woman who got the reassurance from the archbishop really believed her own question. Seems to me it’s possible she just didn’t want to play the stupid game*, and decided that pretending she believed it was the work of Satan would be better than simply coming out and saying with that patented teenage whine, “It looks dumb and it’s probably hard and I’ll feel retarded if I suck and I don’ wanna an’ you can’t make me.” Sort of the same way kids will refuse to eat Brussels sprouts because (they say) they look like turtle testicles.
*Me, I love chess. Just to be clear.
But chess is rasist, after all white has the advantage other black. Is homo erotic as it encourages you to pin the queen. And sexually perverse as you attempt to mate the opponent no matter what their gender.
No, no, no. Chess promotes abstinence, not promiscuity. Remember, the goal is checkmate. Check means “to stop.” So playing chess means you don’t mate.
Gee, what we used to say about chess-geeks was right after all! 
Yes, I play chess. Quite well, in fact.
From the article:
What would he say to a computerized chess game?
“Chess is a quiet, intelligent game that develops one’s thinking. It is not a sin. The holy fathers prohibit the playing of games that arouse passions and excitement, and with them bewilderment, wrath and irritation,” the agency quoted him as saying.
Bewilderment, wrath and irritation?
If that’s what you prohibit, I wouldn’t be so quick about giving chess the OK.
Trunk, that’s what I was thinking.
I remember learning to play chess. It involved a great deal of aroused “passions and excitement,” and every single time there was plenty of “bewilderment, wrath and irritation”
Of course, that’s how all games in my house went when I was growing up.
Yeah,in my opinion chess,like golf,can quickly lead to murderous rages against your opponent(s),or failing that,suicide.