A few years ago when my hubby turned 45 he went out and got a suburban–he had to it’s the law.
And in true real man fashion this thing is monstrous. It’s black with dark tinted windows, removeable rear seat to make room for the 2 dog kennel, monster sound system, ooodles of chrome and gets about 10 mpg. With our 30 gallon tank, the fuel costs can be prohibitive.
Well a few days ago, I purchased a used desk—I call it the “loan officer type” Solid oak, 5’ x3’, apparently lead lined judging from the weight and the fact that it took 4 guys to slide it in the back of the burban and ane then I set back off down the highway toward home.
Traffic was heavy, bumper to bumper and I was going about 75mph when I noticed this little red car hot dogging up behind me, changing lanes every 2 seconds and tailgating everyone by about 8 inches. Then she gets on my bumper and would not back off. She was following so close I could only see the top of her car when I looked out my rear window. I had no where to go and besides I refuse to be bullied by a car 1/10 the size of mine. So I tapped my brakes gently once, then twice, then I just stood on my brakes until she changed lanes. I then took my exit about a mile up the road.
This girl followed me off the ramp and got out of her car screaming that she had my license number and she was going to report me for “almost making her hit me” I asked her if she had ever heard of a little thing called assured clear distance and informed her that unless she was either bleeding or on fire she had better quit trying that tailgating shit in an attempt to make people clear a path for her.
Her reply " All you people with your big black trucks and SUVs just make me sick. You think you can just drive them **any where you want ** All those cars are evil and they make anyone that drives them evil too. Why don’t you take your big black car and drive it straight to hell cause that’s where it and you belong."
I actually laughed at her as I told her she was a crazy woman and to have a nice day now.
My first car was a Suburban. My parents have a woodworking company and it was the “company car” until my sister and I stated driving.
Ahhh, I miss that thing: 1978, sea-mist green (metalic) with a 454 (regular leaded gasoline.) Me and 8 of my closest friends would take it to the drive-in movies. It was great for “back-seat” dates, too
Tell you what, if you can parallel park one of those, there is nothing you can’t drive!
Well, you’re evil and she’s a bitch. According to the bible, redemption is an option for you…
Nah. You have an actual valid use for your vehicle. You and your husband have big stuff and bunches of people to haul around, so it’s not an "S"UV. Just a UV.
Me, I drive a volvo wagon around town and have a Ford Econoline 350 XL Super-Duty Monster Van that I just drove from the Twin Cities to Winnipeg and back. Next weekend we’re going to South Dakota. Last month we went to Philadelphia.
If you have a legitimate use for your vehicle, whether it’s a Bronco or a Ferrari, you’re fine. It’s people who buy the four-wheel-drive SUV’s which only ever go from the home to daycare to the mall to soccer practice and never leave the road, never drive on snow, never have to ford a stream. THOSE people are nuts. They’re paying a ton of money for extras they never use, and which make their vehicles more dangerous and difficult to drive.
We have a large family, we’re at the point where the mini- van just doesn’t have enough space. I also need a vehicle for work that can carry a number of people and a great deal of stuff.
The only vehicle that is going to be suitable is going to be a regular sized van or a Suburban. I should point out that you don’t have to be 45 years old to want a Suburban or appreciate the practicality of owning one.
There’s nothing sporty about a vehicle that curbs out at better than 4 tons, Suburbans are all about utility. In short, they are not an ordinary vehicle. With the exception of a Hummer, I don’t think there isn’t anything larger on the road.
If I find one with four wheel drive and a diesel engine I’ll be in heaven, not hell. With a curb weight of 9000 pounds and a ground clearance of 30 inches I guess I could drive just about anywhere I wanted.
Just where is it the law where a man has to buy a Suburban when he turns 45? I think I would like living in a place like that.
Nope. A Suburban is the original SUV. My parents had this beat up orange thing that we used for at least 5-6 years. I think it had over 200,000 on the odie when he got rid of it. When we’d go up to the UP, he’d take out the rear seats, throw a mattress in the back and my sister and I would sleep all the way up. Man, what a beast that thing was.
The other driver was Evil. Everyone knows that tailgaters are a Plague of Satan [sup]tm[/sup]
What if it only looks like an SUV but is actually two wheel drive, sits on a car frame and is basically a station wagon with big wheels? Would that make me nuts?
Sue
Who wants her next car to be the itty-bitty Lexus “SUV”
Travelall? Is that the big one from International Harvester? I learned to drive in an IH Scout. Damned thing was indestructable. Good car for an unruly teen.
Ha! I’ve got to join this, because I have been a victim of SUV discrimination and anger as well! I drive a beautiful blue burban, 4 wheel drive, mind you, guess I’m nuts, but my husband does take it hunting sometimes.
I went throught a yellow light, and got pulled over by a cop who swore to me it was red. Well, I didn’t want to argue with a police officer, so I shut up. He goes to his car and does his little checky thing, then comes back and hands me the ticket and says “Well we’ve been cracking down on people like you going through these yellow lights, because with the size of this vehicle you could really hurt someone.”
Kiss my soccer mom ass! Any opinions you may have about SUV’s Mr. Police Officer, please keep to yourself, buttwipe!
You admitted the light was yellow, jerk!
I got that ticket simply because I drive a Suburban!
Nothin’ wrong with that. There are scads of more-or-less road-only SUVs coming out on the market. Every manufacturer has at least one. Yeah, they all offer four-wheel-drive and you could take them offroadin’ (but you’d better hope that there’s a Jeep with a winch nearby), but they’re really aimed at people with normal road-driving needs. And why not? Why should the boulder-bashers and diesel truckasaurases have all the fun? What’s wrong with wanting to sit up high and carry five or more people in comfort?
Okay, so their fuel economy sucks and their high center of mass reduces their stability. Both of these can be at least partly compensated for with planned and careful driving. And we can wait and lobby for the manufacturers to develop more fuel-efficient SUVs. (Sorry. Didn’t mean to turn this into a fuel-economy rant.)
Yup. That’s the one. The Travelall was even better. It was an IH truck, and they basically put a giant station wagon body on the thing.
They were making them back in the 50s up to the late 70s, early 80s.
It had great clearance, super 4 wheel drive and 3 gas tanks that would hold over 80 gallons. It was incredibly reliable, go anywhere, do anything.
I had a friend who accidently sunk his boat while trying to get it up a ramp, and he called me to come save him with my Travelall. We used the winch to pull it partly up the ramp, and then I just backed the Travelall down the ramp and half underwater, till we could hook up the trailer. The whole back seat was underwater. There must have been 5 tons of water in the boat, and another couple in the Travelall, but I just put that thing in ultra low 4 wheel drive, and I pulled the whole mess out on the first try, no problem.
Selling that thing was one of the worst mistakes of my life.
We bought a new Jeep Cherokee in 1986 because we have to go off-road about once a week and we need the traction in the winter and the clearance all the time. What drives me nuts is that the car manufacturers are now catering to the SUV-as-car crowd and have lowered the clearance on almost all of their SUVs. My Jeep isn’t going to last forever, and I’m dreading the day I have to find a decent replacement that a family of four with a dog can fit into and that we can afford to run.
I have nothing against the giant SUVs (well, except for the gas-hog/high-emissions aspect). All I ask is that, if you’re going to buy a car that’s half the size of a schoolbus, you learn to drive it properly. And remember, if it’s too big for you to park, it’s too big for you to drive.
Our 84 Suburban, The Tank, hauled a trailer loaded with a race car and equipment a least 400 miles each way, 3 times a month up until three years ago. You just have to know the odometer says 201,000… and not 1,000.
My brother had an IH Scout, light army green [beautiful vehicle].
I learned to drive in the Tank and drove it all through highschool. I can parallel park the Tank and back that thing great distances [our driveway is very long and has a few bends in it. I used to have to dodge the trailer AND the corner of the house in the same manuever].
I wouldn’t say it’s evil, but certainly indestructable. OTOH, my “new” explorer is evil because I say she is. Got the sticker to prove it. Friend of mine accused me of being “yuppie” for getting a suv. Changed his mind when I showed him the 5 boxes of art supplies, lamp, 2 4’x3’ canvases, tool box, and mountain bike piled in the back.
Check out the new Jeep Liberty, their Cherokee replacement. I just bought one. It’s actually bigger than the Cherokee (but still smaller than the Grand) and is supposedly just as capable off-road, if not more. Mine cost $25k with 4WD, automatic and ABS. I can’t wait for snowboarding season. Schweeet!
Heh. I remember my Dad getting the Scout stuck one time. Buried it in mud up to the headlights. Opened the door and the mud flowed through the passenger compartment. All we did was hose it out. All the interior trim on that thing was sheet metal.
What gives with the US obsession with SUVs? Are all Americans that insecure about themselves that they need oversized vehicles?
The term ‘Sports Utility Vehicle’ is an oxymoron.
There’s nothing that an SUV can do that a small 2.0 litre 4 door sedan can do. Provided you’re not carting around an under 12s Soccer team and that 4 door happens to have a huge bastard of a turbocharger bolted onto it.
