Chicago Dopers: Teach me how to drive, and dinner's on me!

I realize how strange this sounds, but it was the best idea I could come up with.

Here’s the situation: I’m 26, almost 27, live in Chicago, and I don’t know how to drive, for reasons I’d prefer not to go into. Yes, I know how pathetic this is. I’ve driven around in parking lots and stuff but that’s about it. My poor boyfriend has begged me to learn, and so I promised I would before the summer’s out. Well, I’m running out of time here. I’m going to take the written test to get a permit this weekend.

I’ve considered going to driver’s education joints, but they’re pretty expensive – like, $70-80/hr. I have no idea how long it will take, so the cost could get prohibitive. My boyfriend, my parents, my sisters and my friends have all offered to teach me, but I know them too well – I can easily tell when they’re getting frustrated with my idiocy – so I would rather learn initially from someone more, uh, removed from the situation.

In return for a couple-three of hours of instruction, I will either take you out to dinner to the non-wildly-expensive establishment of your choice, or I will make you (and yours, if it applies) one of my specialties – chicken fried steak that a native Texan says is the best he’s ever had, with gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, marinated tomatoes from my very own garden and homemade, homegrown strawberry-rhubarb cobbler for dessert OR a full Mexican spread – enchiladas, tamales, and tacos, all made by my own little hands, and finishing with tres leches cake. It ain’t healthful, but it’s gooood.

I promise that I am a ready and willing student, but I’m a little nervous. Okay, a lot nervous. But I’m motivated! So, any takers? Pretty please?

If you were to make it out to the burbs, I might be able to help you. No promises or anything, but I wouldn’t rule it out.

I’ll help you learn! email me and we can set up a time. My Honda has two dented front fenders (damn ppl who cant parallel park), so I’m not too worried:)
I’m in Rogers Park, btw.

MikeG, you are a prince. Check your email.

Oh my gawd. YUMMMM!

Someone’s getting a sweet deal here, and dammit, it’s not me. Hey, Gundy, I can’t teach you how to drive, but I can… I…umm. Shoot. What am I good at teaching? Let me know what else you want taught in exchange for just the tamales and I’ll go out immediately and learn it.