So non divorced parents are under no obligation whatsoever to fund their adult childs continuing education, but divorced parents can be?
Excuse me while I :rolleyes:
Even if this was even remotely possible, you have no standing to have a divorce decree overturned. You are not one of the parties to the marriage.
I gotta side with CutterJohn here. No parent divorced or otherwise, has an obligation to pay for their adult children’s education or even medical expenses.
Sounds like your looking for a free ride.
I am by no means looking for a free ride. Im looking for the same opportunities that my brother received. (Who also was legally adopted at the same time as me but was granted child support whereas I was not.)
Besides that, it states in the divorce decree that he is responsible for 70% of the medical bills and 50% of the college education. He has not held up his part on either of these…which is why I was never able to finish school.
Im not trying to blame him for my gallbladder failing, Im trying to get him to hold up his end of the bargain so that maybe one day I can finish school. Everything Ive gotten in my life Ive done on my own and worked hard for, and now I am 23 and facing bankruptcy because of medical bills. So please, explain to me how I am looking for a free ride.
There is no legal basis for all children being treated equally, especially after they reach adulthood. Just because your brother got his college paid for doesn’t necessarily mean that your are legally entitled to the same treatment.
Well until I reached the age of 18, there was nothing I could legally do about it. And as I said, my mother was given legal aid that was more of a housing attorney than anything else and she felt like she was up against a brick wall.
First thing that comes to mind is “ohfuck, NJ?” The court system here is bad enough that I’m getting out of the state (not a divorce/child support thing - I got parking tickets, they changed my SSN, and I got arrested twice for it).
Going “interstate” will likely be a challenge, but (as a native New Yorker), I will say that New York courts are at least usually trying to do the right thing.
Good luck (and may the bad guy burn).
I think that you are naivelly feeling entitled to some “fair” treatment by your former stepfather.
In New York, there is no requirement for a parent to pay anything after the child reaches 21 years of age.
As you are 23, I think your barking up not the wrong tree, but no tree at all.
I think this thread is better suited for IMHO than GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
So according to you, I can legally adopt someone but still waive all of my parental responsibilities?
Regardless of how old I am now, he didn’t pay a dime for me for anything (other than keeping me on his companies medical plan) from the time they separated (age 12) until I turned 18. Legally, he is my ‘father’ so legally, he should be just as much responsible for me than he is for any of his other kids.
I still to this day cannot figure out why the judge granted child support for just my brother when he adopted us at the same time.
Trust me, I got royally screwed by the NJ court system so I know the battle will be harder because of that. (a kid tripped me and fell on me in gym class, tore apart all the muscles and ligaments in my knee, needed 3 knee surgeries, wet grass, bad supervision, the whole 9 yards, and they wanted to say that it was a no fault accident. I won enough to pay off my surgeries…and thats it. If I need a replacement when Im older, Im screwed)
Umm, I don’t know why you’re rolling your eyes. That is indeed my understanding, and neither of my parents had an issue with the concept (though my dad did have an issue with the amount, though he could have easily afforded it and his parents had done the same for him under much reduced circumstances).
You need counseling, not an attorney - let the past go and move forward.
While the thought of ‘Bankruptcy’ may not appeal to you, it is, atleast, a valid legal recourse to get you back on your feet with a fresh start - and its a known timetable with rules - pursuing your stepdad/etc for ‘back support’ or whatever will only bring you more anger and unresolved feelings, letalone substantial more debt as you pay for the attorney(s) to get it done.
Sounds like this was all “legally” settled way back when he divorced your mother. And you now, don’t like the outcome. I agree it may not have been fair, but I seriously doubt that you have any legal recourse in this matter. As your step father has said, “sue him”. It doesn’t sound like he’s going to become generous all of the sudden. And while IANAL, your case doesn’t sound very credible.
It sounds like your parents had a negotiated child support settlement. Without the agreement between your parents, a judge would not have ordered such a stipulation in most states.
I can’t speak to Illinois divorces in general (and I was maybe 10 years old when my parents divorced), but let me tell you, my parents didn’t agree on much of anything (thus the divorce). The wording of the decree was very vague, something like “each parent shall contribute to the children’s college education according to his/her ability.” (I did see the decree later, but I graduated college in 1989, so it’s been a while.)
It led to much post-decree litigation, because Dad’s idea of a fair split was 50/50, although he made several times more than Mom ever did. So if there was any agreement at all beyond both of them thinking they should contribute to my education, it sure wasn’t in writing anywhere.
i totally agree with Wilbo523
But still to CutterJohn’s point, a child cannot sue their married parents for support (medical, secondary education, etc.) after they turn 18, so why should a child of divorced parents be able to?
The child support is a tough sell but he was ordered to keep her on his insurance until she turned 25 or graduated college, whichever came first. Since neither has happened yet and he took her off the insurance, he is in contempt of the court order. Some of the medical expenses she racked up should have been covered by insurance, but they weren’t since he decided not to follow the order, therefore it seems likely he will be found responsible for some of those medical expenses.
Don’t know why I forgot this earlier, OP, but you can ask the court to make him pay your legal fees since it’s his fault you have to go to court.
I was not privy to the deliberations of the Illinois state legislature when they passed the child support laws, but here’s an FAQ on how it works. Note that the child does not get *carte blanche *re: choosing a school, regardless of cost.
Frankly, I can’t contemplate how any parent could refuse to provide any assistance with postsecondary education, given financial ability, and provided the educational plan makes sense for the student. But that’s a rant for another thread.
Married parents are not required to spend a dime more than is required to keep the child minimally clothed, fed, sheltered, doctored, and in school. When parents split, should the courts only require payments that cover the bare minimum for a child’s survival, or should they recognize that an un-split family is likely to provide the occasion toy or ice cream cone, health care past 18, or a modest post-secondary education if the income is available?