I remember one place, a bedroom and some of the furniture in it, and when I described it to my mother she told me it’s the place she stayed the first 2 weeks after having me. Thing is I remember being on the floor, crawling around and maybe walking, so either it’s a memory of a different place or more than one memory confused together.
I do clearly remember walking around with my parents in a store when I was very small. A few other things from that time too. I’m pretty sure it was before the age of 4 because we moved across the country.
The odd thing is these memories resurfaced when I was in my 20s. In my late teens if you asked me to remember anything before the age of about 5 or 6 I would have just about drawn a blank.
She might remember plenty from this age. I remember my third birthday very clearly, and many events and people from around that time. For me it’s been pretty easy to determine the dates of specific memories because we moved around a lot when I was little - different houses, different friends.
I actually have many more vivid memories from very early childhood than I do from later in life. Ages 8-12 really blur together, except for school memories, because we were in the same house in the same town and I had the same friends.
I think you are encouraging her to retain and discuss memories in a way many parents don’t, and this might lead to her remembering much more than she would otherwise…
Of all of my earliest memories (age 3-4), there’s only one that my oldest relatives remembered too. All the rest was stuff that impressed me but I suppose were of no importance for my family. For instance, my oldest memory is being forbidden from watching a firework from a close distance, but from my parents it probably just has been one of a large number of instances they told me “no” to something, and they didn’t remember this particular event at all (although they could pinpoint when it happened by deduction).
On the other hand, my parents sent me to live with my grandmother at an early age, and though they obviously remember the event, I absolutely don’t (I remember living with my parents, remember some time later living with my grandmother, but not at all the moment when the change happened).
So, what your daughter will remember or not from her early childhood might be very different from what you would expect her to remember.
Though your attempts to discuss her memories might change that. I wouldn’t know.
I can remember events back at least to the age of four (During my twenties, I mentioned to my mother about seeing a certain lattice pattern when I was a child during a specific event and she confirmed that I had it right, and I would not have seen that again after age four.
I have a memory even further back, interestingly enough, it is “disconnected” from anything else as I distinctly feel a gap in consciousness, and when I talked about this with my mom, she indicated that it might be a city street from the neighborhood that we moved away from before I was two years old. I’ve been back to that neighborhood as an adult and think it might be possible, though it is far from conclusive.
Interestingly enough, despite early memories, I cannot recall any instance of not being able to read English (my native language). It feels that I’ve always been able to, and I can recall an early overview of the alphabet given in either elementary or preschool and I recall it feeling like a review of something I already knew.
Some people feel that if you’re a parent, then it is your job to raise your children. If he wanted to live his dream, then he should’ve waited until his son was older or done it before he was born.
We moved into a single family home when I was three. I have visual memories of the apartment we lived in before that, the stairway up to it, the playground and the pool as well as visiting the house while they were building it.
As I’ve disclosed in a few previous threads, I remember, very vividly seeing a “tiger” in a sunset when I was 10 months (age confirmed when I asked my mother about it much later-we were on vacation, driving to Canada in my dad’s Cadillac). I can recall several other snippets from 2-4. My sister OTOH remembers very little from before age 5.
One theory for not remembering is state dependent memory. The idea is that your brain changes a lot when you are young so the state of your brain when those things happened is different and that’s why the memories are lost.
I have vivid memories of pre-school (I must have been ~4 years old or younger,) kindergarten, and everything after 4th grade. Maybe 2-3 grades melded together?
It’s interesting to watch this as the child gets older. I periodically ask my son if he can recall things in his past; gradually he forgets many things. For example, he was talking when he moved from a crib to a small bed, so I’d ask him how he liked the bed vs. a crib around that time. A year later I’d ask if he remembers sleeping in a crib, and he did, so I talked to him about what it was like, etc. A few years after that, he had almost no memory of sleeping in the crib at all. This was from around 3 to 8 years of age.
I think talking about memories periodically helps reinforce it a little bit, but it seems like a bigger effect is that he just remembers subsequent conversations about the memories, not the original events if I keep talking about it. By age 10, there’s actually been a couple of cycles of forgetting - e.g. something big would happen at age 3 that he’d forget by 5 or 6, then something at that time that he’d forget by 9 or 10. It’s a little sad actually I’m the only one who’ll remember the fun times we had when he was a toddler - I remember thinking about that at the time.
One of the interesting things about memory is that we may not have declarative memory that we can express and yet we it can still be there. The most clear example of this was H.M., the now recently deceased man who had both hippocampii undercut in epilepsy surgery and who as a result was unable to form any new long term declarative memories. But he could be taught how to play a new song on the piano. Ask him if he knew it or had learned it and he’s deny it, but get him started and he’d play it just fine.
Your fun with your child as a toddler is still there, even if he doesn’t explicitly remember it. It’s part of why he loves you so much even if he isn’t able to say why.
When I was a little more than 3 years old, my father got transferred and we moved to a new city and state. I have only one memory of the old house, and that was the street/neighborhood. I remember sitting on the front steps of the house and petting the neighbors dog, a collie.
At 2 yrs 8 months, Kennedy died and I have vague recollection of that event.
And I believe this is at the crux of why people were upset about the sailor choosing to miss the early years of his child’s life. Whether the child recalls it or not, the events during those years make an impression on the child.
I remember my father waking me up for the moon launch. I was just two years old.