So many things. For instance, once during recess in the winter, I triple-dog-dared a mid to touch his tounge to a flagpole. He did, and it stuck. Then recess ended and all of us kids ran back in and left him out there. The teacher saw him and they ended up having to have the fire department get him off.
That same winter, I really wanted a BB gun for Christmas, but everyone told me that I would just end up shooting myself in the eye. But I was persistent, and did get the gun. But the very first time that I fired it, the BB bounced back, breaking my glasses. I had to pretend that an icicle fell and hit me.
A different Christmas, I was accidentally left home alone. And a couple of burglars attempted to rob my house. I had to rig up various elaborate booby traps to defeat them, including hitting them with paint cans and setting their hair on fire.
Then one time on Bunta Eve, I entered the big pod race using a racer that I built from scrapyard junk. I ended up winning and won my freedom from a Blue Flying Space Jew.
Speaking of jews, this is when I was in my early 30s and not when I was a little kid, but once I went to my local temple and out of nowhere started flipping over tables and yelling at everybody. The other jews were so annoyed that they beat the crap out of me and nailed me to some boards.
Also, this one time, in band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
You may have noticed some skepticism developing in the minds of some posters with respect to our OP’s seemingly endless fund of memories of childhood pranks. I’m sure Darren was expressing his skepticism in what I at least found to be a rather amusing manner.
Our favorite sledding place when I was a child was a hill right next to a major highway. We used to have competitions to see who could land closest to the highway.
I don’t remember anyone getting hit by a car, but today nobody would let children do that.
No tale I’ve ever posted here is fabricated. I won’t repeat that in an attempt to sway doubters. Folks can think whatever they want to.
But I’m really not sure why there would exist any skepticism… nothing I’ve shared is particularly outrageous. Sometimes cruel, or “over the line”? Maybe, but certainly believable.
I was just a mischievous kid who grew up to be a mischievous, albeit successful, adult. We’re a dime a dozen. I also happen to have a ridiculously sharp long-term memory, and a childhood worth revisiting. Nothing wrong with that.
Hey, everyone, if you doubt a tale here, why not just enjoy it and move on to the next one. There’s no way you’ll be able to find out if it’s true or not.
Yeah, I’ve got a few (involving huge hand-crafted explosives and cars) that I’m sure would be doubted.
“I ended up winning and won my freedom from a Blue Flying Space Jew”
“Speaking of jews, this is when I was in my early 30s and not when I was a little kid, but once I went to my local temple and out of nowhere started flipping over tables and yelling at everybody. The other jews were so annoyed that they beat the crap out of me and nailed me to some boards”
Try to guess why I didn’t smile.
Because you consider smugly, arrogantly insulting and deriding religious people on the Straight Dope to be your schtick and you don’t like someone moving in on your turf?
My cohorts and I liked to go down and fart around on and by the railroad tracks. The dumbest and most dangerous thing was to climb out under the trestle that went over Chester Creek and then hang on when trains went over. One idiot actually crossed the trestle by means of the steel supports underneath. One slip would have meant death, most likely. When I got my first motorized transport (an Allstate motor scooter), I parked it near the trestle. While we were under it, a train came along and I watched the scooter go flying end over end off the embankment. Hell to pay for that one, I can tell you.
The tracks were near Knik Arm, a notoriously treacherous arm of Cook Inlet. The mud was like glue, the tides were/are very fast, and there was raw sewage in some places; yet we would tromp around out there catching sticklebacks or setting off fireworks. In the winter, when the Inlet would mostly freeze over, we’d venture out near the edge and try to break off ice floes, it not occurring to us that we might end up floating out to sea.
During one brief and shameful stint as a teen, I allowed my friend to convince me it would be a good idea to slash car tires. I regret doing that to this day.
I once convinced three neighborhood friends to roll their own yards so we could accuse another kid of doing it when his yard was the only one of the neighborhood boys whose yard wasn’t rolled. We only used 1 roll of TP each, making it look like he was hurrying to hit all our houses before getting caught.
And, yes, I got him grounded for 2 weeks. It was glorious.
We used dummies. Friend worked in a service station and he would bring home the old oily overalls These were long pants/ long sleeves types. We’d tie up the legs and arms and fill the body with crumbled newspaper. Tie some old shoes on the legs and put a hat on the collar.
Looked real at night. We’d be at the side of a not too busy street and one of us would be holding up the dummy and another two would be beating the shit out of it with their fists. Cars would stop, we’d drop the dummy and run. The Good Samaritan would pick up the body and say, “Its only a dummy, honey” to his concerned wife.
Variations included taking the dummy for a ride on a motorcycle and having it cartwheel off going around a turn in front of a vehicle that was closely following us. Hanging it with a noose from a tree or just lay it face down in the gutter of a busy street.
Worst problem as those damn “teenagers” who would just take it and throw it into their car. Also ambulances were occasionally sent to the scene.
