Man, you are so right about that. I’m actually kind of a clean freak, no one ever spilled anything on our carpet before our darling daughter came along. Since then, she’s averaged a cup of milk a month, but she’s such a darling that I don’t care if she trashes the house. Kids’ll do that to you.
At first my mom was running after me and my brothers picking up after us and cleaning every day. Then she realized it wasnt so important to have an immaculate house, but happy children :).
Anyway dem, i’m surprised you havent exploded by now. Since we all know how much you like your house to be immaculate! Be glad i’m not one of your kids though. You’d have a heart attack at 29.
Dear, some of us would like happy housetrained children. There is not a single room in this house that has not been reduced to chaos. There is the absolutely charming mess in the living room where Child No 1 cut up several sheets of construction paper into little minute bits and when challenged on Why Did You Do That, he said it was craft. Then he got out his collection of lego catalogues and spread those from arsehole to breakfast time. He also left a stamp pad where the 2 yo could reach it. Don’t ask, just don’t ask…
And then we have the lego. I hate lego. I hate all the little bits. I hate having to discuss all the little constructions he makes endlessly every day.
I also need to know WHY it is necessary to get every fucking video out of the cupboard and never put any away.
Anyway Doobieous I reckon your mother just curled up in despair and gave up. One day, one day as I gnash my toothless gums, all you lot will have offspring and then, and only then will you fully appreciate what a child can do
primaflora
and thinking back on those wonderful days of ‘little ones’. Now after shopping all weekend with the 3 teenagers, and my house looks worse than ever. I’m wondering where all of my tools went, the 13 year old asked me 2 more times if I’m sure I don’t have any more money, the daughter just backed over someone’s mailbox, and my wife is going to her mom’s for 3 days. Damn I’m glad to be at work on Monday
Cheer up Demo, pretty soon they will be teenagers!
later, Tom
My little animals are 9 & almost 5, and they arent so bad.
They put their own dishes in the dishwasher, they gather their own laundry and put it in the machine. The older one vacuums and unloads the dishwasher. They arent allowed to clutter up the living room - and if I say: GET YOUR CRAP OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM! - they do it.
So, they are almost perfect…if I could just get them to stop pissing on the toilet seat, the back of the toilet, the floor NEXT to the toilet…
Here’s a supportive word for Primaflora:
I have been where you are, where the Better Half comes home from work and says, “Well, how was YOUR day?” and I’m sitting there with eyes glazed over, surrounded by cracker crumbs and Barney videos and Lego pieces and little scraps of construction paper from “crafts”.
It does get better, once they get past the Lego/chocolate milk stage. But then you have different stuff to worry about, like combing the hair over the bathroom sink, which clogs the drain, and filling up the shower holder thingie with about 26 different kinds of body scrub, so there’s no room for anybody else’s stuff, and screaming bloody murder if somebody transfers her laundry from the washing machine to the dryer, because most of it’s “line dry only” (“How am I supposed to know that?”
“Just leave it there, I’ll take care of it.”
“Other people need to wash clothes, too, you know.”
[look of disbelief] “Right now?”
“Um, well, sometime before the elections in November.”)
Or, if male, having to be threatened at gunpoint before he’ll (a) bathe (b) change clothes © change underwear (“underpants don’t count as clothes cuz nobody sees 'em”) or (d) change socks (“socks don’t count as underwear, they’re like shoes, and you don’t put on new shoes every day, do you?”)
They also get mouthier, and smarter. And they get driver’s licenses. Talk about God forsaking us all…
P.S. If it’s any consolation, I still have blue Cray-Pa scribble all over the upstairs bedroom and hall doors (I actually don’t remember which kid perpetrated it). Someday I will get around to cleaning it off, really.
Amen. I looked at Demo’s list and thought, “This sounds exactly like my house!” Only my little monster is 27 years old and I’m married to him. 
Demo, be fair…
make a copy of your complaint for your mother. SHe’s been waiting years for this. 