Wow, I thought our house was the only one. I’ll print this out and give it to my mom and say “See! We’re not the only beasts in the world! Other’s have experiences our brand of horror”
Of course, she won’t believe it, but it’s worth a shot.
Don’t get me started on the furniture! Although it’s mostly the kids dog who likes to wreck furniture. Although they certainly enjoy jumping on to the arms. Every time, I hear the slightest groan coming from the substructure. :: wince :: One of these times, they’re going to go right through.
Anyway, as for the dog:
Dog drool on the arms of the couch. (Yes folks, on the arms of the couch. He’s more of a little rat than a dog.
Dog hair all over the cushions.
I swear, if he takes a leak on there, he’s dead meat!
Grrr…
I could go on for pages here, but I don’t want to hijack my own thread too much.
And does anybody listen to me when I say “No dog on the couch!”? Noooooo! I finally had to threaten with, “Next time I see that dog on the couch with you, he’s banned outside for a day. If it happens again, he’s out for a week! If it happens again, he’s out on his ass for good!!!”
Christ folks, I’m 27 years old and I sound like my damned father!!
Um, hate to point this out, but I’ve dated adults who did every single thing you mentioned! At least kids are a lot of fun and worth such hassles. The adults that did this were basically slobs who never grew up and expected me to be their “mommy” and do it for them.
Now, I’m willing to contend with such disorder if it’s a child but I am adamantly opposed to a “supposed” adult acting in this manner!
They’re also too goddamn loud. AND whenever I have a person with children in my shuttle, the parent always installs the carseat right behind my seat, and the rugrats always kick the back of my seat through the whole trip. And did I mention that they’re loud?
As a parent of four with two dogs and three cats you can understand why I steam clean every six weeks.
You just gotta love em don’t ya?
For all the mess they make there’s nothing like being greeted by my daughter when I get home from work. She runs at me full speed with her little arms outstretched and leaps into my arms. “MY Daddy!” is what she tells her friends.
Whatever crap I went through at work that day just dissolves into the ether when she does this.
See, this is why I don’t have a dog, they are so messy…
As for kids, I have two toddlers. It’s easy to spot parents now, just wait till one toddler/kid starts screaming, then look around and see who looks over in disgust and who just ignores it and carries on.
All of you parents that have posted don’t have things half bad, at least not from what I’ve seen. My parents just have psychotic problem children, and smart to boot.
When my sister was young, not even school age yet, she had to have a shot and it took two nurses and a straight jacket to keep her down long enough for the doctor to give her the shot, after which she screamed for the longest time.
My brother got part of a toy train stuck in his hair, you think bubblegum is bad? Try a battery operated toy.
My oldest brother got kicked out of highschool and then readmitted, he wanted to skip a year of college even with a 1500 SAT score.
The dog is quite a pain too, he’s about 5 feet tall when he stands on his hind legs, he’s a shepherd/chow mix, fiercely protective. He once got out and scared the mailman into a corner of the driveway though he didn’t bite him, he just growled and snapped until we dragged him back into the backyard.
Oky enough horror stories for one night, but if you’d like I have more
Kids: As they are now, they shall forever be. Soon you will look back on these days with tears in your eyes longing for the little ones back. But by then it will be too late.
I am glad you qualified that statement because you don’t know diddly squat about me and my kids… Actually as we head into arsenic hour here at casa primaflora the last fucking thing I need to read is a comment that I don’t have it half bad.
<-(Sorry Alpha)