If no one was around to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on you, what would you do?
Voice of Experience: You can perform the Hemlich on yourself. Put your fist in the middle of your torso and push like hell.
I vaguely recall some CPR thing in highschool where they also said you can try to bascially ram your sternum against the back of your chair by dropping your weight onto it for a similar effect as the Heimlich.
Oh, actually here it is on the MedLine site.
Choke to death, probably.
Been there, done that - did the Heimlich on myself. Dug both my hands, straight and palms up, fingers first, deep into my diaphragm. Out came the foreign body, very fast, and stuck to the wall.
UK petrol 98p/litre.
1 US gallon = 3.785 litres.
STG£1 = $1.85
.: over here, 1 US gallon costs $6.86.
To prepare for such a price in the US, buy cars with smaller engines, chaps. And try to shrink your country to a more manageable size.
Oops, wrong thread. Sorry 'bout that.
But it’s making me choke! 
According to my mom, a retired RN, you can also use a phone. She followed this advice with an explanation of how I could perform an emergency tracheotomy on myself.
Mom’s scary sometimes.
So as to not choke on it in the first place. 
And get that sticky choke fixed.
Not the sternum – that’s only if you’re trying to give yourself CPR.
The way I heard it, you stand so the edge of the chair is aligned with the part of your abdomen just below your ribcage, and then fall forward so the chair rams upward into your diaphragm and compresses your lungs. Repeat until your airway is clear or you die.
I did that with the corner of a trashcan.
Wanna hear the best part? I caught the chunk of burger neatly in my hand, chewed it up and sucessfully swallowed it.
I was really hungry. Which is how I came to be choking in the first place.
Did she mean to use the phone to call 911, or is there some technique to jamming a phone into your belly?
Heh. Only a man can give this some dap. Nice job!
Actually, I’m a woman. But thank you anyway!
blinks
Wow. You get double dap, then.
See, that’s been my school of thought with food that’s been in your mouth. If it’s still warm and goes under a strict 3 to 5 second rule (and not that one that works for the floor where you pick it up when you get to 4, accidentally drop it and keep saying “4”…“4”…“4 and a half”…“um…4 and three quarters”… until you pick it up and THEN say “5”) NO!..This is a strict one.
Also, I’m convinced that if you do it fast enough and someone sees you, they really don’t see it. Case in point…an ex and I went to Red Lobster once. Now, I do like my seafood (a sexual fruit, so they say…wink wink) and she was talking about…something. I was fiddling with a crab leg (yes, that pun was intended) trying to get the meat out because when I mes with crab, I’m in the zone, baby. Well, the exoskeleton gives and the meat shoots out hitting the girl right in the middle of the forhead. As it’s in midair, about to hit her, my hand is snapping out immediately, trying to save it from the floor (where, in public, I cannot save it with a 5 second count). The meat hits her head with a resounding slap, making her stop in mid sentence. It then hits her place directly under her brain box. I reach out and snatch the meat up and eat it and look at her like I had been hanging on every word the entire time.
I love this story.