Ok you got me there
Capt
I put clouds in my coffee.
Actually, that phrasing implies coffee in habanero sauce, not the other way around. Which could be an interesting experiment.
Ich spreche kein Spanisch.
Yep my Spanish is pretty bad but I can order food, gotta watch out for the coffee thing, that could be bad
Capt
Si, No, Quizas, No se, No entiendo, Dos cervesas por favor, Donde esta los banos?
What else do you need? 
Dos tacos de carne con queso, una copa de frijoles refritos con queso y una cerveza grande por favor.
Well, if you want to get all fancy.
I can’t help it. I like cheese on my (beef) tacos and refried beans.
You forgot the pickled jalepeno and thinly sliced red onion.
Oh, and the Prilosec.