Chris Cantwell just pitted, and pissed, himself

The BBQ Pit
1

I don’t know if this is unintentionally hilarious, or a mean attempt at deceiving the alt-right with a staged performance of self-recrimination, but the juxtaposition of Cantwell’s performances during Charlottesville and after is too delicious not to enjoy.

Poor widdle boy.

Apologies if he has already been pitted better by y’all, but he couldn’t do a better job of hanging himself, if this is legit. I say if, because it just seems so weird that he would cave. But maybe not, since most bullies are craven cowards.

Enuf psychoanalyzing though, we need a win for anti-hate.

2

“We tried to be good NAZI’S and they still hate us?”

3

He’s a little bitch. Typical.

4

I like the contrast in the physical manner in which he speaks in the hotel room video, with 1/2 of his mouth Popeye style and feigned East Coast gangster enunciation vs. the jr. high kid-in-trouble-with-his-parents warble in the crying video. What an internet hero for today’s bored momma’s boys.

5

That guy is a clown. In 2014 he was on the Colbert Report fighting for a different cause:

6

He went from 1932 Nazi to 1945 Nazi in record time.

7

The more attention this gets, the better. There are too many testosterone-poisoned morons out there who think being a swaggering neo-Nazi would be “cool”. Nobody, but nobody, thinks being a sad little sniveling crybaby pissant punk like this guy is cool.

8

We’re gonna stamp out hate,
Sock it in the eye,
Shoot it in the stomach, yelling Die! Die! Die!
We’ll pull its insides out, and look at what it ate[sup]*[/sup]
We’re gonna stamp! Out! Hate!

– Alfred E. Neuman (What, me hate?)

  • {yecch}
9

Seeing Nazis cry make me happy. I’m sure someone will say you should have sympathy for him or similar nonsense, but he’s a Nazi so no, just no.

10

There must be some suicide cult for him to join…

11

I love the snark from the commentator: “What, you want to start ‘Nazi Lives Matter’?”

12

Let’s also make fun of his OK-Cupid profile.

Pretty sure ‘‘your boundaries are complete bullshit’’ translates to ‘‘I will rape you on the third date.’’

13

“I used to meet women from chat rooms, and no matter how many disasters I run into from this habit, I just keep on trying,” he writes. “I’ve met women with fake photos, had false police reports filed against me, been sprayed with breast milk, you name it. It’s a god damn miracle my dick hasn’t fallen off from an STD.”

So he still put his dick in all these “disasters”. Alrighty, then. Prince among men.

14

Third date? I’m surprised any woman would say yes to the second.

15

I’m surprised there would be a second if she didn’t put out on the first.

16

I figured he was a gentleman. No raping until the third date.

Maybe that’s expecting too much.

17

I’ve read that he was kicked out of Libertarian movements for being too Nazi.

18

Oh, I’m sure he’s had police reports filed against him. I’m more skeptical about the “false” part.

19

I was curious about how the orthodox far right deals with a situation like this. I googled Stormfront, Cantwell’s blubber fest but nothing reflecting his meltdown or any disappointment, lol, with his behaviour. Then I wondered, how do white nationalists these days punish their own? Or do they have unconditional love for each other, and forgiveness?

Maybe more like denial, though. If they wuz real Nazis, and this was 1933, I think there would have been a purge.

20

I’m guessing they see him as a victim.

BTW, I went to his profile and was prompted to sign up for his email list. Something about needing protection from crazy liberals.

No thanks.