Christmas songs with parts that irritate me

[dougie_monty]

@ElvisL1ves

Fortunately, “O Come All Ye Faithful” is usually not performed with the second verse,

True God of true God, Light from Light Eternal,
Lo, He shuns not the Virgin’s womb;
Son of the Father, begotten, not created

I sum up my attitude toward Christmas by singing it in Latin–thus:

Abeste Fidelis
Nusquam triumphante…

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

You did mean Adeste, didn’t you?

[rsat3acr]

@Sherrerd

Yeah, the sarcastic mockery of some hypothetical someone who apparently is thanking God “it’s them,” doesn’t come off at all well.

Nor does the actual title of the song: “Do They Know it’s Christmas?”–that question carries an implicit suggestion that Christianity is far more important than any religion the benighted denizens of Africa might happen to follow. Insulting, to say the least.

well it was in reference to the Ethiopia famine. Ethiopia is about 60% Christian.

[neofishboy]

Mary nodded … the ox and lamb* kept time** …*

Dude, you’re the drummer! You had one job!

[Chronos]

I’ve always taken the last verse of “Little Drummer Boy” as proof that Mary was indeed a saint.

[hogarth]

@ElvisL1ves

4. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” - There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago. There will?

I’ve heard ghost stories at Christmas. But I’ve never, ever associated Christmas with roasting marshmallows.

[Wheelz]

@aceplace57

I like Whams Last Christmas but I don’t like hearing it at Christmas time. It’s too heart breaking. Break up songs need to be sung at other times.

The problem with “Last Christmas” is that it has nothing to do with Christmas!!
You could change the line to “Last Easter” or “Last Flag Day” or “Last Tuesday” and it would be the same damn song.

[dougie_monty]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

You did mean Adeste, didn’t you?

No. I know the difference between adeste and abeste.

[edwards_beard]

Blue Christmas by Elvis is the worst.

[terentii]

@hogarth

I’ve heard ghost stories at Christmas. But I’ve never, ever associated Christmas with roasting marshmallows.

You’ve never toasted marshmallows around a cozy yuletide fire? :dubious:

I wish I had a nice hearth in my apartment. I’d not only toast marshmallows in it, I’d roast chestnuts too. :o

[terentii]

@edwards_beard

Blue Christmas by Elvis is the worst.

Them’s fightin’ words, Yankee! :dubious:

[DSYoungEsq]

@MovieMogul

I despise “The First Noel” because it’s such a pain to sing, since virtually every other syllable covers multiple notes. Having one word (especially a mono-syllabic one) cover a note change occasionally is standard, but in that song, it’s incessant.

Here are some of the classic, very singable carols

“O Come All Ye Faithful, joyful and triumphant” (12 syllables, 12 notes)
“Joy to the World, the lord has come–let Earth receive her king” (14 syllables, 14 notes)
“O Little Town of Bethlehem, how still we-ee see thee lie” (14 syllables, 15 notes)
“Hark the Herald Angels Si-ing, glory to the newborn king” (14 syllables, 15 notes)

Now here’s the Fucking First Noel

“The-uh Fir-irst No-oh-el, The-ee angel did say…” (9 syllables stretched across 13 notes)
“Ih-in fiee-elds wher-ere they, lay-ay keeping their sheep…” (9 syllables, 13 notes)
“A-and by-ey the-eh light uh-of tha-at same star…” (8 syllables, 13 notes)
“A-and to-oo the-eh earth, i-it ga-ave great light…” (8 syllables, 13 notes)

And so on ad nauseum. HATE, HATE, HATE!!!

Must really, really hate Silent Night, then. :dubious:

[dougie_monty]

@edwards_beard

Blue Christmas by Elvis is the worst.

That weird ethereal sound the backup singers make, belongs in a Halloween song!

[ioioio]

“So let’s give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus is coming tonight.”

These lyrics do not appear is all versions. I first noticed them on Dylan’s Christmas album and thought Bobby was making a joke.
I don’t know if these lyrics were in the 1934 original, but they appear in some 1950s recordings.

Thanks God, for Santa Claus.
Thanks God, for not abhorring the virgin’s womb.
Thanks God, that it’s them, not me.

[Backwater_Under_Duck]

For the win: Any song, and there sure a lot, that want to wish it was Christmas every day. Oh my god, can you imagine? It is currently exactly two weeks before Christmas and I’m singing, only two more weeks till it’s over. Hooray!

[cochrane]

@ioioio

“So let’s give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus is coming tonight.”

These lyrics do not appear is all versions. I first noticed them on Dylan’s Christmas album and thought Bobby was making a joke.
I don’t know if these lyrics were in the 1934 original, but they appear in some 1950s recordings.

Thanks God, for Santa Claus.
Thanks God, for not abhorring the virgin’s womb.
Thanks God, that it’s them, not me.

Here comes Santa Claus was written by Gene Autrey, and he first recorded it in 1947. He did sing, “Let’s give thanks to the Lord above” in his recording.

Here Comes Santa Claus

[rowrrbazzle]

@CalMeacham

He also wrote a story -within-a-story of “The Goblin who Kidnapped a Sexton”, a sort of proto-Christmas Carl, inside the Pickwick Papers. Betcha nobody here has even heard of these, let alone read 'em.

I have, but I admit I haven’t read them.

[jtur88]

@ZipperJJ

Ever since I learned what a virgin was, and how it is 100% related to sexual intercourse, I’ve always felt extremely awkward about the whole concept of “The VIRGIN Mary” and the extended and excruciating line about a “viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIiiiiiiirgin mother and child” in “Silent Night” and having to sing it at church every year while sitting right next to my mom.

Otherwise, beautiful song.

Even before I knew what a virgin was, I wondered what a “roungeon virgin” was.

[cochrane]

@jtur88

Even before I knew what a virgin was, I wondered what a “roungeon virgin” was.

No, that was a fat guy who’s never had sex. Round John Virgin.

What’s the deal with My Favorite Things? It mentions “doorbells and sleighbells”, and has a couple of lines about snowflakes and silver white winters, but otherwise, what does it have to do with Christmas? There’s nothing in it that’s specifically about the holiday, especially if you live Down Under.

[hogarth]

@terentii

You’ve never toasted marshmallows around a cozy yuletide fire? :dubious:

If you asked a million people in the northern hemisphere “Don’t you love that time of year when you tell ghost stories and roast marshmallows?” approximately zero people will answer “Yes, I love Christmas!”

Likewise, I’m sure some people sing the national anthem and light off fireworks on New Year’s, but I wouldn’t write a bloody song about it.