Pielparade (South African military slang)
Pielparade is an Afrikaans colloquial term used commonly by South African military personnel, including slang which is unique to or originates with the armed forces, especially servicemen of the former South African Defense Force (S.A.D.F.). The term means ‘penis parade’ and refers to a range of sexual games or practices which soldiers staying in a platoon bungalow on military bases or camps were ordered to perform by their platoon leader and/or his assistants supposedly to foster group cohesion. It was also known as ‘spanbou speletjies’ which translates as ‘team building games’. The games were meant to be humorous and to entertain the troops.
Types of pielparade:
Laërskommel
The most common game is known as ‘laërskommel’ which literally translates as ‘laager milkshake’ but means ‘circle jerk’ which is when a group of men form a circle and masturbate themselves till they ejaculate. During the nineteenth century, the ancestors of the Afrikaners, called Boers, used to create encampments formed by a circle of wagons to protect them from attacks by hostile African tribes or wild animals. These circular encampments were called laagers in Dutch which the Boers spoke at the time but their Dutch eventually evolved into Afrikaans. The Afrikaans word for ‘laager’ is ‘laër’. The ‘skommel’ or ‘milkshake’ part of ‘laërskommel’ refers to male masturbation and semen which looks like certain milkshakes.
The platoon would gather in the platoon bungalow or outside and create an area called the ‘saadskietbaan’. ‘Saad’ means ‘seed’ or ‘seeds’ but in this context it means ‘semen’, ‘skiet’ means ‘shoot’ and ‘baan’ means ‘shooting range’ or ‘a range for target practice’. Participants would be ordered to form a circle or line up in a row behind a line in the ‘saadskietbaan’. Soldiers would then place bets on which participants would ejaculate first, last or furthest. Participants were then ordered to strip naked. The ‘laërskommel’ might be preceded by a ‘worswedstryd’ (see below) or participants were ordered to perform ‘jumping jacks’ or ‘star jumps’ which are a type of physical exercise in which the performer jumps from a standing position with the arms and legs pointing outwards. The purpose of ordering the participants to perform ‘jumping jacks’ was to humiliate them and to humour the onlookers because the participants’ penises would inevitably flail up and down or side to side. Participants would then proceed to masturbate themselves till they ejaculated. Occasionally, participants would be ordered to stimulate other participants’ penises or scrotums. After the last participant had finished ejaculating, the winnings were then distributed.
Other Afrikaans slang words for ‘laërskommel’ include:
Kraalskommel - a ‘kraal’ is a traditional African village of huts surrounded by a circular fence or it is a circular enclosure for livestock; ‘skommel’ means ‘milkshake’ of which the meaning in this context is explained above.
Kringskommel - a ‘kring’ is a ‘ring’ or ‘circle’; ‘skommel’ means ‘milkshake’ of which the meaning in this context is explained above.
Balskud - a ‘bal’ is a ‘ball’ but in this context it means ‘testicle’ and ‘skud’ means ‘to shake’. The term also occurs in the plural, viz. ballasskud
Saadbomme - ‘saad’ means ‘seed’ or ‘seeds’ but in this context it means ‘semen’, and ‘bomme’ means ‘bombs’.
Saadkannone - ‘saad’ means ‘seed’ or ‘seeds’ but in this context it means ‘semen’, and ‘kannone’ means ‘cannons’.
Saadskiet - ‘saad’ means ‘seed’ or ‘seeds’ but in this context it means ‘semen’, and ‘skiet’ means ‘shoot’.
Saadskietparade - ‘saad’ means ‘seed’ or ‘seeds’ but in this context it means ‘semen’, ‘skiet’ means ‘shoot’ and ‘parade’ means ‘parade’.
Skietpiel - ‘skiet’ means ‘shoot’ and ‘piel’ means ‘penis’.
Toltrekparade - ‘tol’ means ‘dick’ (i.e. slang for ‘penis’), ‘trek’ means ‘pull’ and ‘parade’ means ‘parade’
Draadtrekparade - ‘draad’ means ‘wire’ but in this context it means ‘penis’, ‘trek’ means ‘pull’ and ‘parade’ means ‘parade’
Tottietrekparade - ‘tottie’ means ‘willy’ (i.e. slang for ‘penis’), ‘trek’ means ‘pull’ and ‘parade’ means ‘parade’.
Other types of pielparade:
Worswedstryd
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘wors’ which means ‘sausage’ and ‘wedstryd’ which means ‘match’ or ‘game’. Participants would take bets to see whose penises were the longest or shortest or thickest, and the money or whatever was being bet would then be distributed to the winners.
Handstoot
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘hand’ which means ‘hand’ and ‘stoot’ which means ‘push’. Participants would stand naked in a row and thrust their erect penises in their hands till they ejaculated, basically as if they were having sex with their own hands. Bets would be placed on who could ejaculate first, last or the furthest.
Olifantloop
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘olifant’ which means ‘elephant’ and ‘loop’ which means ‘walk’. Participants would be ordered to stand naked in a column. Each soldier would take hold of the penis of the soldier in front of him by putting his hands between the soldier’s legs from behind, as well as the penis of the soldier behind him. The participants would then be ordered to walk, to the amusement of the onlookers.
Kussingkannon
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘kussing’ which means ‘cushion’ or ‘pillow’ and ‘kannon’ which means ‘cannon’. Participants would be ordered to strip naked, make their penises erect and then rub them against a pillow or cushion till they ejaculate. As with other pielparade, bets would be placed on which participant would ejaculate first or last or the furthest.
Poppekas
This game derives from the Afrikaans word for ‘doll house’. A soldier would bring a woman, usually a prostitute, to the platoon bungalow and have sex with her while other troops watch. Sometimes the woman would be aware and sometimes the woman would be unaware that she was being watched. The troops watching would be ordered to masturbate and ejaculate while watching.
Eensame kannon or Lekkende kraan or Kraanspuit
"Eensaam’ means ‘lonely’ and ‘kannon’ means ‘cannon’; ‘lekkende’ means ‘leaky’ and ‘kraan’ means ‘tap’; ‘spuit’ means ‘spray’ or ‘shoot’. In this game, soldiers in a platoon bungalow would be ordererd to strip naked and stand together in a group. Then they would be ordered to masturbate. Whenever a participant was ready to ejaculate, he would have to raise his hand and stand in front of the group so that all of the soldiers could watch him ejaculate. This would continue till every soldier had finished ejaculating.
Soggy Marie or Soggy biscuit or Soggy cookie
Marie biscuits are a popular brand of biscuits in South Africa. In this game, contestants were ordered to ejaculate onto a digestive biscuit or cookie. Whoever ejaculated first was deemed the winner, and the last person to ejaculate was forced to eat the biscuit.
Purpose of the Pielparade
There are various reasons why pielparade was encouraged, but the overall purpose was supposedly to promote greater group cohesion. Platoon leaders ordered pielparade to foster ‘gehoorsaamheid’ (‘obedience’), ‘samesyn’ (‘togetherness’), ‘gelykheid’ (‘equality’), ‘eenheid’ (‘unity’) or ‘gees’ (‘spirit’) among their troops. The idea is that performing such a private, intimate act in front of other soldiers would decrease awareness of individual identity and promote greater awareness of group identity, and cultivate stronger bonds of trust, togetherness and mutual respect which are critical to the cohesion of the platoon. A more skeptical view is that it was a type of indoctrination to encourage soldiers to relent to unquestioning obedience so that soldiers would follow orders that could be interpreted as morally wrong or repugnant. Not all platoon leaders orderered their troops to perform pielparade but it was fairly common at different bases and camps throughout South Africa and the military’s operational area. While circle jerks feature a homoerotic element, some analysts interpret activities such as circle jerks as an effort to establish heterosexual, masculine dominance within a group. What actually motivates participation is to have fellow men witness and acknowledge one’s sexual prowess, helping to counter feelings of inadequacy related to sex and masculinity. It is also a means of gaining comparative knowledge of, or exploring, male anatomy and its functions in an accepted way since many soldiers might not have been exposed to other men’s bodies prior to basic army training.
Dr Aubrey Levin and South Africa’s military psychiatry of the 1970’s and 1980’s
Dr Aubrey Levin was the chief military psychiatrist at One Military Hospital in Pretoria during the 1970s. Known notoriously in the press as “Dr Shock”, he operated at Ward 22 of 1 Military Hospital at Voortrekkerhoogte. That’s where suspected gays in the army were sent to Dr Aubrey Levin for “treatment”. Levin was positively evangelical about curing homosexuality: in 1968 he wrote to Parliament asking to address its members on potential changes to the laws on homosexuality, noting that he had “treated many homosexuals and lesbians and enjoyed some measure of success in therapy.”
This “therapy” took the form of drugs, electro-shock therapy and hormone treatment. For those who didn’t show signs of responding, it is claimed that chemical castrations or sex-change operations were in store. Most of Levin’s patients were young, white and male, and they were referred to him by military officers, chaplains and doctors.
Some of their stories are recorded in a study titled “The Aversion Project: Human rights abuses of gays and lesbians in the South African Defence Force by health workers during the apartheid era”. Published in 1999, the study arose out of reports given in submissions to the health sector hearings of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) in June 1997. The same hearings led the TRC to accuse Aubrey Levin of “gross human rights abuses”, but by that stage he was safely ensconced in Canada.
“The Aversion Project” study recorded how doctors like Levin were allowed to proceed with their unethical experiments into curing homosexuality “in contempt of contemporary medical practices at the time”. Levin would claim in an interview with the Guardian in 2000 that his approach represented the standard treatment for gay people at that time. But by 1968, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) had revised homosexuality down to a “non-psychotic mental disorder”. By 1974, the DSM no longer listed homosexuality as a category of disorder. Yet Levin’s bizarre “therapies” continued throughout the 70s and 80s.
“Electrodes were strapped to the arms of the subject, and wires leading from these were in turn connected to a machine operated by a dial calibrated from one to 10,” explains The Aversion Project study. “The subject was then shown black and white pictures of a naked man and encouraged to fantasise. The increase in the current would cause the muscles of the forearm to contract—an intensely painful sensation. When the subject was either screaming with pain or verbally requested that the dial be turned off, the current would be stopped and a colour Playboy centrefold substituted for the previous pictures… [The doctor] would then verbally describe the woman portrayed in glowing and positive terms. This process would be repeated three times in a single session. Sessions were held twice daily for three to four days. People subjected to this therapy experienced long periods of disorientation afterwards.”
Trudie Grobler, an intern psychologist at 1 Military Hospital, witnessed an aversion therapy session where a woman suspected of being a lesbian was shocked so hard that her shoes flew off her feet. “I couldn’t believe that her body could survive it all,” Grobler later said. One man given hormone treatment at Levin’s hospital found that his “whole body and hormone system developed abnormally”. He told Aversion Project researchers: “I look like a woman because of the induced testosterone abnormality”. This man, named as “Neil”, committed suicide before the Aversion Project study was published. As a result of the research process he decided to explore litigation, only to discover that all medical records from his military stint had been expunged.
Dr Levin also operated at Greefsveld, a military encampment in what was then Southwest Africa (now Namibia) where drug addicts were sent to receive corrective psychiatric treatment. Greefsveld was essentially a forced labour camp; alleged drug addicted soldiers were forced to perform hard manual labour which supposedly encouraged them to develop discipline and change their behaviour.
Since such unethical medical practices were officially sanctioned, it is likely that sexual practices or games like pielparade were thus tacitly accepted by military officials as having a factual basis. There is no medical study which proves or disproves that pielparade are effective or uneffective as a means of fostering group cohesion. Nonetheless, the practice obtains.