I’ve put this in GD because I believe it has been an emotive topic in the past, but I do hope that we can actually have an informative discussion rather than a flame fest…
Our baby boy is due to be induced in two weeks time, and we honestly haven’t considered the issue of circumcision yet. I am circumcised, not for any religious reason, but because it was the done thing at the time I was born (South Africa, nearly 40 years ago). I seem to recall my mom saying that it was believed at the time to be “better” for the baby. The little reading I’ve done seems to indicate that there is not really any reason anymore to snip or not, and that it seems to be a matter of personal preference.
One interesting comment made by an acquaintance was that it will make a difference to the child as he grows up if he looks different to Daddy “down there”…
I’d be most grateful for calm opinion, personal experiences or links to further reading on the issue.
Can’t stand circumcision debates, so I will merely offer up what went into our decision-making process and then depart the thread:
We opted not to circumcise our two boys. My thinking was that it is an unnecessary medical procedure. The very slight protection it seems to give against STDs that Shodan refers to did not outweigh, in our minds, the risks of the procedure itself (also slight; but we’re talking about slight risks either way). As circumcision is an elective medical procedure, we felt that if our boys elect to have it done on their own when they’re older, that will be fine, but we’re not going to make that decision for them. MrWhatsit, FTR, is circumcised, and was not particularly concerned about our sons “not looking like dad,” mostly because he assumes that they will not be perfect clones of him at any rate. The other big argument I’ve heard is that an uncircumcised boy will be made fun of in a locker room, but I think circumcising is a lot less common than it used to be, and don’t really consider this a major concern.
Personally, after having given it some thought when I was pregnant with Whatsit Jr., it seems weird to me that our society considers it normal to automatically snip off part of a rather sensitive part of the body. YM, of course, MV.
The opinion expressed was that the boys would be upset at not looking like dad rather than the other way around - you don’t say how old your sons are, but I wonder whether they ever said anything along these lines?
OK, well, I said I would exit the thread, but since you had a specific question. Whatsit Jr. is 7 years old now and definitely has seen his dad in the shower and around the house, and hasn’t remarked on the difference, if he’s even noticed. At his age, though, I gotta say that the appearance of circumcised vs. uncircumcised is really not that noticeable. At least IMO. He has actually been more concerned that his hair does not look like Daddy’s. (MrWhatsit has what I can only describe as a luxurious mane of strawberry-blond hair.)
Totally anecdotal and you should ask your doctor about this rather than believe me but I’ve heard on talk shows where men who had been circumcised and then had the procedure reversed say that sex was more pleasurable. That would be a good reason for me to not do it to my imaginary son.
I’m snipped so I obviously have no first hand knowledge of this.
There are some studies floating around that circumcision reduces the rate of penile and cervical cancers. Apparently, these conclusions are becoming pretty widely accepted in the medical world.
That’s not an issue, unless you take the James Dobson approach to raising boys (he recommends dads showering with sons to they don’t get Teh Gay).
I am circumcised, so are my two sons. However, if I were to make this decision now, I would choose not to.
The cons are that it’s an unnecessary medical procedure. And there may be some sexual sensation lost (though for me, sex is pretty damn pleasurable even without the foreskin). And, while I don’t think an uncircumcised penis will be the subject of ridicule even in the US nowadays, if your son travels abroad he will look like everyone else if he is intact. When I was in the public bath in Germany, I felt a little self-conscious.
The pros are:
There may be a small decrease in the risk of penile cancer, urinary tract infections, and HIV. I think this is a small factor, because it’s a decrease in the risk of very rare or avoidable problems.
As Cecil says, you get a “maintenance-free tool.” This is the biggest pro IMHO.
Finally, this is just me speculating, but with a smegma-free penis, sex partners may be more willing to engage in certain activities that your son may want, wink wink.
I’m circumcised, my son isn’t. I simply didn’t see a reason to do so, and ample reasoning not to (it is a pretty horrifying surgery and they don’t use anesthesia).
That your son will feel embarrassed at having a different penis than daddy – well, if he is embarrassed by that, he’ll probably be even more embarrassed by how tiny his looks by comparison. Dad is also probably taller, has a bigger belly, facial hair, etc. Kids usually learn at a young age that they are different from everybody else, in a myriad physical and non-physical ways.
And getting made fun of in the locker room? a) I never in all my school years was compelled to strip down entirely nude in front of other boys, we just changed in and out of our gym uniform. However, if I had been, and somebody else was caught studying my crotch, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the one being made fun of. b) That argument has literally been used against every change in the status quo, ever. “Things can’t change because then things will be different! And everyone knows how horrible it is to be different! What if somebody makes fun of us!?”
There’s a certain logic to letting the child decide. However, a circumcised penis is going to be cleaner regardless of how fastidious one is with hygiene. Foreskin will trap urine and generally keep the area beneath it in a moistened state. I say this from personal experience.
From a sexual standpoint men have claimed a greater degree of pleasure by adding the foreskin back. I can’t imagine men needing any more stimulation but I throw it out for discussion. I would also add that I have found most women prefer circumcised men given a choice so that is also up for discussion.
I will also point out that my nephew had a circumcision at age 4/5 because he didn’t want to be different. I was surprised that was on a child’s radar at such an early age.
Well, under the guidelines offered in the OP, that you believe there’s no medical reason for it, and that there’s no religious reason for it, it seems to me the best question to ask yourself is, if you were a newborn again, would you want it done to you?
I’m not sure there’s anything to be added to the circumcision debate that hasn’t been said in a hundred other threads, but I never got this argument:
They will look quite different, regardless of circumcision. Would you snip your baby girl’s labia if they’re longer than her mother’s were at birth? Get her implants as a teen if she inherits a flat-chested gene? And how often are kids comparing their genitals to their parents, anyway?
The last is factually untrue, BTW. “They” most certainly use anesthesia - I watched it done when my son was circ’d.
I would also say it wasn’t “horrifying”, but that is I suppose more of a subjective judgment … compared to being born by c-section, this relatively minor procedure wasn’t much, I thought.
Chick chiming in here, for whatever it’s worth. My brother is circumsized and has told me that he regrets his and in fact did not have either of my nephews cut. He didn’t really give a specific reason except that he doesn’t see why people atuomatically mutilate their sons. Of course this may be due to his rebellion against our Jewish heritage. My boyfriend is not circumsized and, how shall I put it delicately, it has taken me a long time to really take a shine to it. Obviously it all looks the same when hard, but sometimes I really do not find it appealing when flacid(and no, I would never let him know that). Not that such a major decision should be based on the opinion of potential sex partners, just thought I’d throw it out there.
We’re Jewish. I had a bris (ritual circumcision), as did my son. Glad we did it. Wouldn’t change a thing if we had it to do over again. And ritual circumcisions are very quick, very safe, and, if there’s any serious pain, it can be cured by sticking a nipple into the kid’s mouth. Neither I nor my son remember it, that’s for sure.
That said, unless you’re doing it for religious reasons, why would you bother? I’m pretty sure the pediatrician’s association no longer recommends it for everyone, so I’d skip it if I weren’t a Jew or Muslim. You’ll need to learn enough to teach your son how to properly clean himself, but it’s probably not the most difficult thing you’ll teach him to do.
It appears you’re right; however, this is a recent change, within the last 10 years. My understanding came from my friend’s dad, who watched my friend’s circumcision and vowed never to put another child through that pain again. This was 25 years ago.
Here is a CNN story I found from 1997, 12 years ago. Choice bits:
Whatsit Jr. is 7 years old now and definitely has seen his dad in the shower and around the house, and hasn’t remarked on the difference, if he’s even noticed. At his age, though, I gotta say that the appearance of circumcised vs. uncircumcised is really not that noticeable. At least IMO. He has actually been more concerned that his hair does not look like Daddy’s. (MrWhatsit has what I can only describe as a luxurious mane of strawberry-blond hair.)