Citibnnk and Wells-Fargo are diseased blights on a rabid slimecrusted pig's ass

FUCKING Citibank.

Earlier this month, Citibank sent me some checks at a very nice interest rate with an offer for me to do some balance transfers. “Nifty!” I think. Mr. Athena has quite a bit of money on high-interest credit cards, and as we’re trying to buy a house, consolodating them at a low interest rate would be great!

Problem is, the balance on his account is about $4K more than the credit limit on the Citibank card. I call 'em to get a credit line increase. Seems that using these checks give an automatic $2K increase, and the helpful lady increased my credit limit another $2K. I say “OK, tomorrow I am going to take one of these checks, make it out for $X dollars, and deposit it in my checking account. I will then write checks to pay off my other credit cards out my checking account.”

“Sure!” says the perky account representative. “Go ahead! Write the check! We’ll lend you that money at low interest! No problem!”

I go to Wells-Fargo the next day, deposit the check. Wells Fargo tells me the money is available immediately. I think “great!” and happily write out the checks to pay off the other credit cards.

Fast forward a week, to last Sunday evening. I decide to check the balance of my checking account on-line. The balance? Negative. Five figures negative.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I call Wells-Fargo. They inform me that Citibank has refused to honor the check. They refused to honor the check that I called them about, TWICE in fact, and told them I was going to write out.

I call Citibank. Seems that the $2k increase I requested cancelled out the automatic $2k increase promised in the checks. Did the CUNT on the PHONE when I called TWICE mention this to me?!? Fuck no. When I said "I’m writing this check out for $X, she said “Go ahead! We’ll honor that! We LIKE to lend you money!”

I get the fucking son-of-a-bleeding-bedsore-ridden-whore to up my account balance to the amount of the check I wrote out. This takes a few hours, so I call back the next morning. Yippee! It’s been upped. However, the fucker didn’t mention I have a $5.00 balance on the account. They will not honor the check I wrote, the check that they told me a week ago to “go ahead and deposit” because of a $5 balance.

I talk to a supervisor, who allows me to do a phone payment of the $5.00. Fine. I talk to Wells Fargo again, they say they’ll resubmit the check and everything will be fine on Wednesday.

Today’s Wednesday. There’s still a hold on my account.

I call Wells-Fargo. Of course, the woman who I spoke to before and left a message for yesterday is neither available nor did she return my call. I talk to another supervisor. After 35 minutes on hold, I get cut off.

I call back. The person I was talking to is now “unavailable.” Donkey cock feltchers.

I talk to yet another supervisor, explain the whole story. She tries to call Citibank, who claims to have no knowledge of the check. She comes back and tells me there’s nothing else that Wells-Fargo can do, they resubmitted the check on Friday, they haven’t heard a thing from Citibank.

Bleeding cunt whackers.

I call Citibank. They claim everything is hunky dorey, and the problem is with Wells-Fargo. I spend another 30 minutes on the line with them, trying to talk to Wells-Fargo, then I accidentally hit the wrong key on my fucking phone, and cut myself off.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Back on the phone. I hate goddamn banks.

Very well formatted rant. I’d give it an 8…I like it! Especially…

Whoops! This is the pit…

Nice fucking rant! I couldn’t have fucking said it any better myself. Fuck the banks all all of the piss infected cum bubble employees!

Don’t ever believe a word they tell you. Make sure the money is in the bank before you write a check against it. I’ve heard this happen to other people too. I hate dealing with large banks, which is why I try to stick to the good ole small town bank that I use. Wells-Fargo holds my home mortgage now, and I really hate that.

full 10 if we get the rest of the story. :smiley:

Hope it all turns out well, Athena. If not, I have a few shattered wine bottles for you to shove up the respective supervisors’ asses.

I’ve been waiting for a long time for someone to come down on the credit card companies for even SENDING OUT those damned checks.

Every couple months, Discover sends me a shitload of them and asks me to use them to transfer balances. I’ve called them no less than a half dozen times and told them to stop sending them, because:

  1. I don’t have any balances to transfer, goddammit, and
  2. It’s risky to send checks through the mail, considering that they could be intercepted.

One of the Discover operators I spoke to actually had the audacity to tell me that there’s no risk involved in the case that someone decides to steal my mail and go on a spending spree with the checks. I told her that I’ve seen at least three investigative reports on TV that detailed cases of people who have had their checks intercepted and the credit card company tried to hold them responsible for the resultant ape-shit shopping sprees.

I promised myself to cancel my Discover card the next time they send me unsolicited blank checks linked to my account.

Trust me, those checks are more trouble than they’re worth.

Athena, your wit, beauty, intelligence, and this thread title all make me jealous of Mr. Athena. Hope everything works out for you. Sounds like you may have to make a trip to Wells-Fargo. Speak loudly while you’re there.

Update:

I finally spoke to a sane, intelligent, helpful woman on the phone at Citibank. Not only did she see my problem, but when I got cut off while she was trying to get an account rep from Wells-Fargo on the line, she stayed on the line, talked to the Wells-Fargo woman, then called me back and conferenced me in.

The woman from Wells-Fargo was likewise sane and intelligent. None of this “well, WE don’t know what happened, THEY fucked up bullshit.”

Between the three of us, we figured out that I should go write yet another check for an ungodly amount of money and deposit it in my checking account. Both Wells-Fargo and Citibank swear to God that this will work, and they will wave any fees that might result from this double-check fiasco.

Not only that, I have real phone numbers for both account reps. Like non-800 numbers, numbers that will get me directly to their desks. At least, that’s what they told me they were. I tend to believe them, since they were giving them to each other so they could communicate further if need. Y’know, secret in-house bank numbers.

Of course, they’re probably lying to me about this, too. I’ll go deposit another big ol’ check and end up 7 figures overdrawn. I’ll owe more money than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime.

Goat feltchers.

I had a “friend” who works with Wells-Fargo. He’s an asshole and they are stupid for hiring him. In fact, he’s probably behind all this.