CKDext cracks me up!

[ChiefScott]

This little gem comes from ConCC:

**Ithink it’s a shame that the shroud of Turin gets all the publicity, and the leisure suit of Florence gets totally ignored.

The leisure suit (white polyester) dates from around 30 AD, and has the initials “JC” (in ancient Aramaic) embroidered on the pocket. There are bloodstains around the edge of the sleeves and the ankles, and also over the chest where the spear wound was made. There is a ring around the collar, but no scientific analysis has determined what it is, it looks like burn marks, such as might come from a too-bright halo.

Furthermore, in the pocket of the jacket, there are some crumbs of bread … and no matter how many crumbs the scientists take out, still some crumbs remain! This is evidently left over from the episode of loaves and fishes, although no fish scales have yet been found.

There are reddish stains on the pants, that look very much like wine stains to the naked eye, but when these wine stains are analyzed by scientists, they turn out to be simply water! No satisfactory explanation for the reddish colour has been provided.

In addition to the blood around the ankles, there are also salt water stains, as though someone had been wading in the sea.

Furthermore, in the inside jacket packet, there is a handwritten list (in ancient Aramaic), most of which is too faded with time for ample translation, but the heading is “To Do This Week” and some of the items appear to include:

• Kick Judas off the team
• Get white loincloth back from laundry
• Discuss menu for last supper with Mary, no more fish
• Remind them to leave tomb door open so it doesn’t get too stuffy
• Have plenty of tylenol with codeine for painkiller

And with this evidence in our faces, all the attention goes to a crummy shroud. Hmpf.**

C’mon, that’s funny shit!