Classical music: heavy vs. light

Cafe Society
1

Ok, this is a rant. But I think it belongs here, rather than in the pit.

As part of my cable tv package, there are 47 audio channels, each broadcasting its own genre of music.

There are two classical channels: “Classical Masterpieces” and “Light Classics.” I’d like to know how they hired the bozo who programs these two channels, someone who obviously knows zero about classical music. Or do they have the same bozo programming ALL the channels, regardless of his knowledge of each genre? The few other channels I’ve listened to don’t seem to have these problems.

Half the time, when I turn on the “Masterpieces” channel, they are playing a Haydn symphony. I think they have a contract to play ALL the Haydn symphonies in any given week. Now I have nothing against Haydn, except that most of his music is boring as shit. He wrote a whopping 104 symphonies which mostly all sound the same. The truth is that he wrote just one symphony, 104 times. And just sticking to symphonies, there’s almost a complete absense of Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, or any of the other “Classical Masterpieces.” No, just Haydn’s Symphony #1, in its 104 incarnations.

The “Light Classics” is even worse. Now, to me the term “Light Classics” means a lot of Chopin, ballet music, overtures, the more popular Bach, Rachmaninoff, Ravel, some Gershwin . . . you know, orchestral stuff that a “pops” orchestra might play . . . melodic, accessible, not requiring much attention or brain activity or snob appeal. But the other day, I turned on this channel, and heard this really heavy, depressing, boring piece by Rameau, that went droning on and on, endlessly. Meanwhile, the “Masterpieces” channels was playing, I think, a light and bubbly performance of an Offenbach overture.

Sure, there are a lot of works that can go into either category, but I’m talking about pieces that are really obvious. All you have to do is listen.

Or am I wrong? Has the distinction between Light and Heavy shifted over the years, and I’m just hopelessly out of touch?

2

Who’s your provider? I deal with a lot of companies that offer similar services.

I’m not surprised to hear what you’re saying. For what it’s worth, you probably aren’t the target audience. Most of those services are targeted at the “I want something soothing and upscale” crowd that isn’t otherwise interested in or knowledgeable about classical music. Based on my dealings with similar companies, even companies that are more closely identified with music than a cable company, there isn’t likely to be much of an editorial staff at work. Probably just some bare bones programming bases on metadata tags – if that.

Creating a convincing classical radio (or just radio-like) product is extremely tough. The sound world and mood are much more varied than in most other genres. If you dial up the punk channel, you know you’re going to get a certain sound and attitude. But “classical music” includes symphonic rep, chamber music, vocal music, opera, piano & other solo instruments, and music that runs a stylistic gamut covering more than 400 years of history. Creating a satisfying “anything but classical” channel would be about as tough as creating a good classical channel.

3

p.s. I don’t think you’re off base in your expectations for the two channels. I think of “light” classics as pieces that can be easily enjoyed without much attention – familiar tuneful things, as opposed to music that asks a little more of the listener.

4

Maybe “Light Classics” would be more tolerable served up with a pitcher of Lite Beer.

I don’t share your opinion about Haydn. A great deal of his symphonic work is clever, original and satisfying, despite his having offended by having a great deal of output over a long productive life.

It’s interesting how certain composers (Vivaldi is another) get dissed for their productivity. For some, it is apparently much more cool to have done fewer greater things over a shorter life span. Dying young as a career move is not just the province of rock musicians. :wink:

5

I feel your pain. Finding decent classical music either broadcast or cable that isn’t too repetitave is close too impossible. When I’m home, near Cincinnati, I have WGUC, which is the best classical music radio I have found in the US. Most places I go I’m stuck with NPR channels, which are either blah, blah, blah with 90% talk, or all Pachelbel’s Canon all the time. It’s like Stairway to Heaven on the classic rock stations. If you can get WGUC over the interweb I’d give it a try.

6

We have precisely two choices here - highbrow Radio 3, or Classic FM, which I have my clock radio tuned to. It’s almost like that repeating scene in Groundhog Day, though - every day I am woken up by either: Mozart’s clarinet concerto; one of Vivaldi’s four seasons; Morning, by Greig :rolleyes: ; or Sibelius’s Karelia Suite (a bit lively for wake-up music, that one).

7

People have said almost the exact same thing about Vivaldi.

8

And unlike with Haydn, they’re wrong about Vivaldi :wink:

With Classic FM having to make sure they get advertisments in every X minutes during peak listening times, they’re severely restricted in their choice of pieces. Five to seven minutes seems to be considered just about right, which would fit with single movements of Mozart, Vivaldi, or Sibelius. They know that just not you have your alarm set to them at that time, but tens of thousands of other people, all of whom are just about alert enough after that first piece to absord their first advert of the day.

Try setting your alarm to Radio 3. They’re certainly not highbrow at that time, just not intending to be background music, that’s all.

9

Classic FM do music over the internet, and you can choose from different styles as well as listen to the live programming.