Clear your head with ramblings

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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This is inspired by my friends new site. Carry on my story or start your own!
Once a small child ate something that had only taken 2 minutes to cook. It was not a wise choice. “Aaaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!” screamed the childs stomach, as the child ran to the fire station. “Uncle, uncle!!” screamed the child (who was secretly enjoying the attention that a stomach who couold scream was bringing) and sat on the top of the engine so that the alarm could scream louder than
the stomach. Alas, the roof was too igh! The ejector seat was plugged in on that fateful night and got pressed when ruth decided to sit in a bad place, in between 7 other firemen. Whooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!! went the child through the air, “AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH” screamed the child as it shot through the ozone layer. “oh dear,” mused the child, “i seem to be in orbit”

And so the child orbited the earth, for 3 days (how it survived without breathing we will never know, but this is a kid who can survive the ozone layer) until one day it fell back down to earth with an unhealthy ‘splat’. The ozone layer didn’t hurt so much this time, traveling through space had given the child a new level of resistance. “Gee whiz, by golly, oh gosh, i’m alive!” screamed the child through its new set of gills. It wasn’t so much screaming as it was rasping, gills aren’t good for talking and since the boys stomach had been propelled off an engine it hadn’t been much in the mood for screaming, or talking to anyone for that matter. Moody buggar.

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Rule # 1 in unshipped manned space exploration is peanut butter and chocolate makes excellent ablative shielding for atmospheric re-entry. A fact which this child knew instinctively.

Later that same day, a dog exploded.

But, for us in this story, the canine munitions have little significance, being an eveolutionary mistake. “Survival of the fittest” had been mistranslated into a Xhosa phrase meaning, “Get as fat as you can.” Unfortunate side effects of this have already been noted. (Dog go BOOM!) Who knew The Evolution God only reads Xhosa?

Anyhoo… Kids and peanut butter go together like sex and chocolate (Just ask Roman Polanski), making baking rather a chore, now that the internet gives anyone with a phone line and a computer the opportunity to enlarge their penis with little or no money down, pending credit approval.

“__________!!!” screamed the deaf mute in warning to Melkin the Dog Faced (named such because of his prediliction for wearing tiny little hats), who was running straight into the path of a maurading band. Nirvana, I believe it was…