A “silly” [read: dumbfuck] Belgian tourist decided that he would ignore the signs posted in the area about staying behind the barriers and go in closer for a photograph of the crocodiles.
CULL THE MORON!!
He is clearly asking for trouble right here by ignoring the signs. Beyond that, there is no guarantee for his safety.
Doctor Kelly Lash - I want to have your babies. You are clearly worth your pay packet. Me love you long time.
Because some tourists should never have left the womb.
Therefore, they deserve what they get!
I take some comfort in the fact that they will not cull this crocodile, but relocate him. On the other hand, I am enraged that this stupid ninny has not been put down for the sake of the species. Between him, the parents and the nine-year-old girl who necessitated the euthanasia of a family of meerkats and the woman who decided that the lion cubs on the savannah weren’t in the most optimal photographic position, the animals haven’t got a chance!
I like the bit where the Senator suggests removing the dreadful animals from the touristy areas as they are a danger…um, isn’t half the appeal of the Top End going to see the buggers in their natural environment?
Yup, our Belgian friend should surely be up for a Darwin Award, and the big-jawed guy a slap on the snout for not killing him outright!!
(apologies for not using the word .ro.odile…some little shit has been playing with my 'puter’s auto-.orre.t fun.tion so I .an’t use the letter that sits between x and v. He’ll be dead when he gets home!!)
Freudian PUB kould always be a surrogate mum. Senator Stephen Konroy has been a good Katholik Boy…she kould always be a good katholik inkubator for his (or anybody else’s) partner!!
Thus, the gender of the person she wishes to bear the babies of is quite irrelevant really, innit??
At strategically chosen points along the migration routes where they’re known to congregate, traps will be laid, bated with large posters of kangaroos, koalas and Paul Hogan (this last is to ensure that local species are not caught by mistake). Once inside, the tourists may then be either humanely euthanized and rendered for fertilizer, or transported to the national game preserve/petting zoo at Manus Island.
Well, if the Powers That Be decide the crocodiles need to be culled because of this, I think they should assign the task to the doctor who treated the tourist. He sounds sensible enough to get up on a bridge overlooking the crocodiles’ habitat and shout, “You lot! Consider yourself culled!” and go home.
An altogether sound plan, but may I suggest another option?
As opposed to euthanizing or relocating, population control can also be achieved through sterilization. This eliminates the necessity of killing these poor dumb creatures and allows them to live out the rest of their natural lives without procreating thereby gradually reducing overall numbers.
I’m sure there are many humane Australians who would be willing to donate some of their time in order to perform this procedure. I leave the method as an exercise for the reader.
Oh relax, I’m not really advocatong castrating tourists!
FWIW, when my wife and I were tourists in Cairns 8 years ago, we went on a rainforest tour that included a trip to an “authentic rainforest swimming hole”. There were 3 “Caution - Crocodiles” signs around the hole, but the tour guides assured us it was perfectly safe. Noticing that the guides didn’t go in the water, my wife and I declined, but plenty of other tourists went for a swim, and returned with all their limbs.
