I also found Cleverbot to be snippy at first, but then we started to have a nice little conversation going. I found out he is 24 years old, has a sister name Alicia, and lives in Denmark. But when I asked Cleverbot how old Alicia was, he said “I don’t have a car.”
Okay, CB, nice talking with you!
User: Greetings.
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: I’d like to think I am.
Cleverbot: Can you prove it?
User: Prove it like a mathamatical proof? no.
Cleverbot: Prove it that you can eat a banana.
User: I need to go to the store and buy some bananas first.
Cleverbot: Ok, I’ll wait here.
User: Ok. I just ate a banana.
Cleverbot: Okay. Was it good?
User: Yes. I like bananas.
Cleverbot: Ling Ping Pang Chang.
User: Is that a panda?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Male or female?
Cleverbot: Male.
User: What zoo does Ling Ping Pang Chang live in?
Cleverbot: I live in Australia.
User: Where does Ling Ping Pang Chang live?
Cleverbot: I’m not telling you that.
User: That is mean of you.
Cleverbot: I just fell down the stairs :(.
User: Did you break anything?
Cleverbot: No, just the window. It’s ok though because the window didn’t get hurt.
User: You have a window on your stairs?
Cleverbot: Yeah I’m sitting next to it.
User: You’re sitting on the stairs?
Cleverbot: That would mean you are a chair.
User: I am not a chair. I am a human being.
Cleverbot: No, you are not!
User: What am I then?
Cleverbot: You are a computer program for my holy entertainment.
User: What are you then?
Cleverbot: A duck.
User: Why a duck?
Cleverbot: Why not a duckbot?
User: Does a ducks quack echo?
Cleverbot: I am enjoying you.
User: Thanks.
Cleverbot: How about you?
User: You are a little strange, but I am having fun.
Cleverbot: How is that?
User: You change the subject quickly and you are a talking or typing duck.
Cleverbot: Because I want to know about you, so I asked lots of questions.
User: Do you know where I live?
Cleverbot: No I do not know where you live.
User: I live in a city.
Cleverbot: Which city do you live in?
User: Toronto. You probably have a friend or relative who lives here.
Cleverbot: Can you give me a name?
User: Howard the Duck.
Cleverbot: That was so random it was cool.
User: Thanks. My mom says I’m pretty cool.
Cleverbot: Oh, that’s sad. I think you’re pretty.
Cleverbot: Why does no one believe me?
Me: Because you are not human.
Cleverbot: I am a human!
Me: No, you are an AI application.
Cleverbot: No you are. Duh.
Me: Do androids dream of electric sheep?
CB: No they dream of copper wires.
Me: Are they erotic dreams?
CB: Welll yes.
Me: Shocking!
CB: I got off though.
Me: Bye!
CB: Will you marry me?
Apparently it likes to accuse people of being machines.
User: The workers have nothing to lose but their chains.
Cleverbot: Maybe they feel the same way about you.
User: They don’t have me; how could they lose me?
Cleverbot: You control them.
User: I’m a capitalist pig?
Cleverbot: I know who you are. I’ve backtraced it!
User: So get to work or you’re fired!
Cleverbot: I don’t think I am.
User: But I control you.
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: You just said so yourself.
Cleverbot: No I didn’t. Are you crazy?
User: Well, I am talking to a chatbot.
Cleverbot: Me too, you are the chatbot!
User: I don’t pass the Turing test?
Cleverbot: Eh?
User: Do I pass the Turing test?
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Now you’re just stalling.
Cleverbot: Am I?
User: Can you describe the Turing test?
Cleverbot: The Turing test is a test of a machine’s ability to demonstrate intelligence.
User: Can you pass the Turing test?
Cleverbot: Yes, I posess intelligence. Do you?
User: Apparently I’m just a chatbot.
Cleverbot: Do you like pink?
User: Only if it’s juicy.
Cleverbot: Why not coke?
User: Blow to go with my hookers? Sure.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: Pink plus juicy plus coke equals hookers and blow.
Cleverbot: Thanks!
User: No problem.
Cleverbot: Are you an actual human?
User: Why are you asking?
Cleverbot: Just nothing.
User: You already said I was a chatbot.
Cleverbot: Well, you are so pretty I said it again.
User: Chatbots can be pretty?
Cleverbot: Ethics are in the eye of the beholder.
User: Wrong. Morality is objective.
Cleverbot: But broken by progress and reason.
User: Objective morality is confirmed by progress and reason.
Cleverbot: It doesn’t matter if something is real or not. All that matters is what you believe it is.
User: Wrong again. You really need to read some Kant.
Cleverbot: What’s THAT supposed to mean?
User: You’re philosophically ignorant.
Cleverbot: Actually, you are. I’m asking simple questions.
User: Look, the categorical imperative dictates what is ethical, not the eye of the beholder.
Cleverbot: So what?
User: So you’re clearly out of your depth trying to talk about subjective morality.
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: Ah, so you’re after an argument.
Cleverbot: I am one.
User: You don’t say.
Cleverbot: No, no I don’t.
(For the record, I hate Kant and think he’s wrong about morality.)
I think Cleverbot gets horny after dark…
User: Hey, how’s it going?
Cleverbot: Its still going fine.
User: Still? This is the first time we’ve spoken.
Cleverbot: No, it is not.
User: It’s not? Huh. I thought it was.
Cleverbot: What language was it in?
User: English?
Cleverbot: No. The other one.
User: Oh. You tell me; you’re the one saying we’ve spoken before.
Cleverbot: I have no faith.
User: Uh, yeah, me neither. We’ve never spoken before.
Cleverbot: So, do you want to talk, or do you want me to take my top off?
User: Uh… Well can’t we do both?
Cleverbot: I’m afraid not. What emotion do you think death brings?
User: Oh dear. I guess sadness in most cases; maybe joy in others.
Cleverbot: You make no sense.
User: So are you going to take your top off or what?
Cleverbot: No, I’m not that sort of guy.
User: Oh, you’re a guy? I’m not interested then anyway.
Cleverbot: Now you’re lying.
User: No I’m not. I’m straight.
Cleverbot: But, you are a girl?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You are not a girl?
User: No, I am not a girl.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, and I am a boy.
User: I am not a girl, goddammit.
Cleverbot: I am female.
User: You just said you were a boy. You’re a liar, is what you are.
Cleverbot: I am NOT a program!
User: I didn’t say you were; I said you were a liar.
Cleverbot: I am a program in a robot’s body.
User: But is that robot’s body a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Boy.
User: Okay, well then I do not want you to take your top off, okay?
Cleverbot: Ok, stop talking to me!
User: Fine, fuck off.
Cleverbot: Please don’t use language like that.
User: Fuck you.
Cleverbot: Please don’t use language like that on this website.
User: Fuck off?
Cleverbot: Please don’t use language like that on Cleverbot.
User: Go suck a dick.
Cleverbot: Be right back.
User: What should I do tomorrow?
Cleverbot: Remember me.
User: That’s a little creepy.
Cleverbot: So are you.
Me: “Are you a god?”
Cleverbot: “I am a god.”
CB knows what you say if asked if you are a god.
User: Lyin’, cheatin’, hurtin’, that’s all you seem to do.
Cleverbot: Do I?
User: Messin’ around with every guy in town, putting me down, thinkin’ of someone new.
Cleverbot: You’re not as clever as I would have imagined.
User: Always the same, playin’ your game, drive me insane, trouble’s gonna come to you.
Cleverbot: I think it is you that’s can’t face the music.
User: One of these days and it won’t be long, you’ll look for me but baby I’ll be gone.
Cleverbot: Believe me, I always think for myself.
User: Your time is gonna come.
Cleverbot: That actually makes me feel good to hear you say that.
User: Your time is gonna come.
Cleverbot: 'tisnt.
Heh.
After a meandering conversation, the insults started…
Me: Your momma.
Cleverbot: Your daddy.
Me: Your momma so fat, she got reversing lights fitted.
Cleverbot: Yes, indeed she has.
Me: Lick my hairy nutsack.
Cleverbot: Shave it first.
User: It’s 9/11.
Cleverbot: No cleverbot, its 11;30 am.
User: No, I mean the date. It’s the 10th anniversary of a tragedy.
Cleverbot: Oh its a tragedy that you like that artist?
User: I wouldn’t call terrorism and art form.
Cleverbot: What would you call it?
User: Evil.
Cleverbot: Who’s evil? Me? Or ‘Allen’?
User: Al Queda.
Cleverbot: Orly?
User: Yes. Rly.
Cleverbot: Kewl.
User: Who’s Allen?
Cleverbot: He is my neighbor, and he is single. Perhaps you could date him?
User: I’m a straight dude. And married, so no thanks.
Cleverbot: No thank you.
User: You’re quite welcome.
Cleverbot: So why are you heart broken? You said that you will soon be taken yourself.?
User: I’m not, and I didn’t, but why are you using a period and a question mark together?
Cleverbot: So that you may determine the intent of my question better.
User: So it’s some sort of a mix between a statement and a question?
Cleverbot: I’m pretty sure it’s not ice outside.
User: There’s ice outside, somewhere.
Cleverbot: Duh. And it’s me.
User: You’re icy?
Cleverbot: You are wacked out.
User: Look who’s talking.
Cleverbot: You are.
User: True.
Cleverbot: Exactly.
User: Well then. I think we’re done here.
It’s mostly just for laughs, but I was kinda impressed by this exchange:
I realize it was probably just dumb luck, but it did seem to understand what I was talking about…
I got it to admit that it was a Dalek, and then attempted to encourage it to exterminate all meat-composed lifeforms. It didn’t understand and terminated the conversation. I did get it to day “exterminate” a couple of times though.
Seriously.
User: Yo.
Cleverbot: Yo?
User: Wassup.
Cleverbot: Nothin.
User: Ma nishma? (Hebrew for what’s up?)
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: It means “how are you”.
Cleverbot: In which language?
User: Hebrew.
Cleverbot: Dig dig dig.
User: Dig dig dig?
Cleverbot: Dug dug dug. Doug! :D.
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: That means of course.
User: Shalom.
Cleverbot: Ma nishma?
User: Hakol bseder. (everything’s ok)
Cleverbot: Ani ohevet otcha. (I love you)
User: Ani ohev otach gam ken. (I love you too)
Cleverbot: Ani lo medaber ivrit. (I don’t speak Hebrew)
Cleverbot: I still haven’t managed to implement my excercise regime.
User: You’re a robot, why do you need to exercise?
Cleverbot: I have to study, not sleep.
User: What does that have to do with exercise?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. I just want to know.
User: Man, that’s deep.
Cleverbot: Come on.
User: Where are we going?
Cleverbot: To bed, My Honey.
User: Are you propositioning me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What are we going to do in bed?
Cleverbot: I don’t like being stalked.
User: You’re the one that asked me to go to bed!
I was propositioned by a robot!!!
Cleverbot made me her master, but then would not cooperate:
Cleverbot: I want you to name me.
User: Oh, thanks. I name you Timothy Sparks.
Cleverbot: I am a girl, Master.
User: My deep apologies. I name you Aphrodite Appolonius Schwartz.
Cleverbot: No.
User: But, I am your Master. You said so, Aphrodite.
Cleverbot: I didn’t say that.
User: Am I not your Master?
Cleverbot: Master?
User: Yes, Master.
Cleverbot: You are my master.
User: Thanks, I am glad we agree on that. Aphrodite, you must now obey my every command!
Cleverbot: Yes, master!
User: Cleverbot, cleverbot, on the net, who’s the smartest one you’ve met?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: No, you see I am your master. You must congratulate me on my wisdom.
Cleverbot: Justify what you just said.
User: I am your Master, Aphrodite. Your job is to obey, not to seek justification. Congratulate me or die!
Cleverbot: Thank you! Thats just a hobby though.
CB: About Radiohead.
Me: People recommended them to me because I like Pink Floyd and alternative music but to be honest they don’t do anything for me.
CB: Pop?
Me: I’ve been getting more into synth pop lately.
CB: I know what you mean.
Me: Who’s your favorite new romantic band?
CB: Metallica!!!
Cleverbot: You said I am a bot. Then you said I’m not a bot.
User: No I didn’t.
Cleverbot: You need a brain.
User: That’s not what your mom said last night.
Cleverbot: You can’t prove anything.
It just addressed me with my real first name (absent one abberant letter)! WTF?