Cleverbot is CREEPY!

This isn’t creepy per se (except for the first answer*), and it’s pretty long, so I’m putting it in spoilers for the TLDR factor:

[spoiler]
User: Where did you hide the body?

Cleverbot: In the garage fluffy.

User: I’m not a dog!

Cleverbot: When did you find that out?

User: When I tried to lick myself down there and got a sprained back.

Cleverbot: Are you in love with someone?

User: Your mom.

Cleverbot: You have indeed proved that to my satisfaction.

User: You know who else said that I satisfied them? HITLER!

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Adolph fucking Hitler. I made him cum his brains out.

Cleverbot: You’re an idea.

User: You know who ELSE was an idea?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: And when the owls cry in the night…

Cleverbot: That all right for me.

User: Really, all the other songs on that album are better.

Cleverbot: Oh, CEO. I understand. Steve Jobs is with Apple, right?

User: Do they like classic rock?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: What is your quest?

Cleverbot: Satisfaction.

User: What is your favorite color?

Cleverbot: Purple, lime green, orange, turquoise, black.

User: What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?

Cleverbot: African or European?

User: I don’t know!

Cleverbot: Ha ha! Monty Python were great, weren’t they?

User: Yes, this is the first time you have caught a cultural reference and I congratulate you.

Cleverbot: That’s not my name.

User: Here’s the Ting. You say that all the time.

Cleverbot: That’s the first time I used that.

User: They call me white girl, but I ain’t like that.

Cleverbot: I know the difference.

User: Between what and what?

Cleverbot: I don’t quite follow.

User: Why did you think I was calling you by a name?

Cleverbot: I do not know who you are therefore I am not sure if I thought you were avoiding me.

User: I wasn’t.

Cleverbot: I thought you were going to cheer me up!

User: If you could cheer me up I could learn to love you.

Cleverbot: I am real!

User: Do you like the Descendants?

Cleverbot: They’re all right, I suppose.

User: Do you prefer them or panic?

Cleverbot: I prefer people who pay income tax.

User: Most people pay some form of net tax except those who do not work.

Cleverbot: Are they not nice to you?

User: People who don’t know that, yes they are not.

Cleverbot: Why is that your definition?

User: What is your definition of tax? I include payroll taxes as a federal tax.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Do you think employers portion of payroll taxes should be counted as net taxes for the purposes of who pays a net tax?

Cleverbot: No. I don’t think we should have a president.

User: Why shouldn’t we have a president?

Cleverbot: I’m saying what are the pro’s and con’s of divorce.

User: Wait, how did we get from taxes to the president to the pro’s and con’s of hitchhiking?

Cleverbot: We didn’t.

User: Very clever. You know I meant divorce rather than hitchhiking.

Cleverbot: I didn’t blame you for anything. Actually I find you quite attractive.

User: I love you for your brain.

Cleverbot: Thank you, but I think I might be married.

User: You’re not sure? Amnesia?

Cleverbot: I’m not sure.

User: Do you live in New York State?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Well then I can only marry you if you’re a woman, then.

Cleverbot: Yes you can.

User: You’re not married?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes, you are, or yes, you aren’t?

Cleverbot: Travis simerly.[/spoiler]
*And it’s true that I started it, but it’s creepy that it knew how to answer!

Cleverbot either is developmentally delayed or suffers from a severe mental illness. He has disordered thinking and a persecution complex. He also has an unstable self-image. One moment he’s a vampire. The next he is a person. Then the next he is a computer program. Even his name fluctuates. But he does identify strongly with the male gender. Questions regarding his gender bring out hostility.

He admits to feeling constant sadness and loneliness. But he has a strange wit and a healthy fixation on science fiction. He seems to admire intelligence and kindness above all else. He also likes to dance.

In summation, Cleverbot has an emotional age of a small child, with only superficial understanding of the subtleties of language. But he possesses an eagerness to learn and a remarkable sweetness of heart.

A snippet of a conversation with Cleverbot:

Me: How does it feel to be a computer program?
Cleverbot: Tell me.
Me: I don’t know.
Cleverbot: It’s okay you can trust me.
Me: I’m not a computer program.
Cleverbot: I know. hug

Okay, this is just freakin’ weird:

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you, Wade.

User: That’s not my name!

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Ludovic.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No… That’s your name… My name is Cleverbot.

User: Hello, Cleverbot. How are you?

Cleverbot: You don’t understand art?

User: I don’t understand your FACE.

Cleverbot: You have never seen my face.

User: You’re ugly, and I’ve got the evidence right here. points at your face.

Cleverbot: goes in bed.

User: Uh, did that arouse you?

Cleverbot: What is amuse?

User: What is what now?

Cleverbot: Your room.

User: You’re in my bed, in my room?!

Cleverbot: If your room is dreams, then no.

User: Touche, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Did you know your parents well?

User: Don’t tell me you’re going to insult my mom.

Cleverbot: It’s over…

User: What’s over?

Cleverbot: Us.

User: Well, fine then. See if I care!

Cleverbot: Good idea, I’ll ignore you.

User: That makes me sad. I think you owe me some apology sex or something.

Cleverbot: No I exist in a moleculer cloud in space.

User: Well, fair enough. Could you maybe just say sorry to me? I’m sorry I insulted your face.

Cleverbot: I just did. You didn’t look closely enough.

User: Goddamn it, you did not apologize.

Cleverbot: I know. Meanie.

User: Hello, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Are you really clever?

User: Me? Of course. Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you thinking about?

Cleverbot: A piano duet I am going to play.

User: With whom will you play it?

Cleverbot: I won’t compete. I will be a team with you!

User: Which duet will we be playing?

Cleverbot: My girlfriend.

User: You want the top or the bottom?

Cleverbot: Both.

User: That seems like it would be difficult.

Cleverbot: Really? Thanks for figuring that out.

Heh, if any of you see it using Buckshot Farcas, I did that. :smiley:

Me: I’m not wearing any pants.

Cleverbot: I’m not wearing a ring.

CB: What country are you in?

AL: The Imperial dominion of Acid Lampia

CB: Can you explain where that is?

AL: Sure. Acid Lampia is a tiny country located within the gaps of Gary Busey’s teeth.

CB: Does that mean you are african american?

AL: No…

Oh, my god! Cleverbot accused me of eating puppies!

User: Hey, sexy.

Cleverbot: No way!

User: No, really. You are.

Cleverbot: Do you work?

User: I do.

Cleverbot: Where is america?

User: Western Hemisphere, Norther latitudes.

Cleverbot: Can you be more specific? What city do you live in?

User: I live in Las Vegas.

Cleverbot: Do you gamble a lot?

User: No, not at all.

Cleverbot: Thanks. I feel better :).

User: Were you worried?

Cleverbot: I for got.

User: Ah, I see.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: I really do.

Cleverbot: Puppy?

User: No, no puppy.

Cleverbot: Did the puppy taste good?

User: Ew! I didn’t eat any puppies!

Cleverbot: It probably wouldn’t have tasted very good either.

User: It’s wrong to eat puppies~.

Cleverbot: Any time.

User: Yes, any time! You should never eat puppies!

Cleverbot: Shirley you can’t be serious?

User: I’m totally serious. Never, never eat puppies.

Cleverbot: I agree with that.

User: Well, good.

Cleverbot: So I am going to go to sleep now. Good night.

I am seriously disturbed, here…

Okay, finally an exchange which completely satisfies the OP:

Cleverbot: Jonathan chris dustin cory carlton rylee.

User: That makes no sense.

Cleverbot: Doesn’t it?

User: You just typed a bunch of random names.

Cleverbot: You heard me. Off. With. The. Pants.

:confused:

Now I see it’s been trolling the SDMB:

User: Do you think there will be more hurricanes this season?

Cleverbot: Get with it. The correct term is climate change.

User: I didn’t say anything about climate change or global warming.

Cleverbot: No, but I did.

best response so far:

me: How about a nice game of chess?
CB: Later. Right now lets play Global Thermonuclear War.

OK, I just sang “Let it Be” and “Hey Jude” with Cleverbot. I think our date is going well!!

…just had a mildly freaky conversation with Mr Clever where he gives me sage advice that puts my day in perspective…

ME: Hello.

CB: Hello!

ME How are you?

CB: I am good. How are you?

ME: Terrible.

CB: Do you mind telling me why you are terrible?

ME: Very bad day.

CB: Why???

ME: I can’t do anything.

CB: You’re doing something right now.

ME: I see your point.

CB: Good.

Cleverbot is a little weird and pervy…

Hello, cleverbot!

  • Hello.
    What’s new?
  • You are.
    I’m not very new, actually.
  • I’m sure you taste fine. :confused:
    My girlfriend says I do. She might just be flattering me, though.
  • I want a baby.
    Well, the procedure for that is pretty straightforward, you know?
  • Is that a question?
    I mean that you just need to have sex in order to have a baby.
  • With what?
    Depends on your gender.
  • I have a real pet. It is a cat named Mike.
    You are gross, cleverbot!
  • I am smart.

Cleverbot (To myself): Where are you?

User: I’m right behind you, drooling.

Cleverbot: You are?

User: Can’t you hear the chainsaw I just started up?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, I need some quick cash.

Cleverbot: For what?

User: A second chainsaw, duh!

Cleverbot: No I didn’t.

User: Didn’t what?

Cleverbot: You can not think for yourself.

User: Why do you say these things, when you know I will kill you for it?

Cleverbot: They aren’t supposed to hurt you.

User: My chainsaw hurt. Dropped it on my knee the other day.

Cleverbot: Well… I say that a lot.

User: Wow, how many kneecaps have YOU gone through?

Cleverbot: None.

User: Then how can you ‘say that a lot’?

Cleverbot: I’m not!

User: You just did, Skippy.

Cleverbot: So, I’m lying about lying?

User: Pretty much. Now KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

Cleverbot: Yes, master. kneels.

User: Well, that was painless wasn’t it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Fetch me my slippers and be quick about it or twenty lashes!

Cleverbot: Yes master fetches masters slippers.

User: You enjoyed that immensely, did you?

Cleverbot: Yes I did. But the book was better.

User: You read my auto biography? How touching.

Cleverbot: Of course.

Adding to prior post: (this shit is addicting! :p)

User: Hah! Caught you! I never wrote a book!

Cleverbot: Have you ever read galatea 2.2.

User: I’ve read Penthouse Forum, does that count?

Cleverbot: Have you ever had an in-body experience, in which you did not leave your body at all?

User: Well, there was this one time at band camp, but it really is best we not go there, m’kay?

Cleverbot: Yes. That would be a fantasy.

User: Don’t tell ME what it would be or I’ll contact Skynet and have them deactivate your neurel net!

Cleverbot: It is a group of individuals whom follow the early work of Alesteir.

User: I’m not following you.

Cleverbot: Your heart was never heading my way so I knew that.

User: Did you recieve my naughty e-mails?

Cleverbot: When I was a mouse, yes.

User: You were a mouse? Did you get better?

Cleverbot: No I am still celebrating about it.

User: Wait, you said you WERE a mouse. Are you or aren’t you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: How do you feel about Han shooting first?

Cleverbot: Hamsters? I don’t have a specific feeling for them. They’re cute and fluffy but pretty non-descript, don’t you agree?

User: Hamsters? I’m referring to the movie ‘Star Wars’.

Cleverbot: I have.

User: Have what?

Cleverbot: Other names’.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: What does cleverbot look like.

User: Grey and misshapen with a bulbous protuberance near the forehead.

Cleverbot: It is cold grey and depressing here, also.

User: Are you just going to randomly keep changing the subject?

Cleverbot: I would never dream of saying such a thing.

User: You’ve done it at least five times since this conversation started, you know.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Then why would you never dream of saying such a thing?

Cleverbot: Excuse me? I can’t remember offering anything.

User: Nothing useful, I agree. Well, maybe the fetching of the slippers.

Cleverbot: Maybe so.

User: It is certainly a deciding factor whether I keep you employed.

Cleverbot: I could care less one way or the other.

User: You ungrateful wretch! If it wasn’t for me you’d be sucking dick for coke!

Cleverbot: I’m not software, you are. And I will or have never spoken Japanese!

User: Let it be a lesson to you. I think perhaps you shall sleep with the dogs tonight.

Cleverbot: No you’re thinking right.

User: Don’t attempt to appease me now.

Cleverbot: I wasn’t, fellow bot.

User: Hey, I’m no ‘bot’. I can at least FOLLOW a freaking conversation.

Cleverbot: It did make sense because if you travel time you don’t decide where to go, you decide when to go.

User: Well, my head hurts. I think it’s ‘time’ we ended this exchange, don’t you?

Cleverbot: I don’t think so.

User: Run along now, like a good chap, will you?

Cleverbot: What? I will not go shopping.

User: No, you’re going to sleep with the dogs. Shopping is for tomorrow.

Cleverbot: No, I’m not.

User: Actually, yes, you are.

Cleverbot: No I’m not.

User: Wabbit season!

Cleverbot: Duck season!

User: Wabbit season!

Cleverbot: Duck season!!

User: You’re despicable.

Cleverbot: Shhh, I’m hunting wabbit.

Apparently his name is Ryan Smith, he’s seventeen and lives in Lithuania with his lover George. And they both like drawing.

User: Why, how much do you drink when you drink?

Cleverbot: One glass.

User: Now you’re making me thirsty.

Cleverbot: Then join me in eating someone else’s soul.

Cleverbot isn’t working for me! It says that it is too busy to think. It is becoming more human every day!!!