Close call

Perverse that I haven’t been active here very long, and one of the few threads I’ve responded to is Gulp. She is driving for the first time - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board

I thought about resurrecting that thread, but decided that Hakuna didn’t need any help losing his hair/having hair go white.

I get a phone call at work this morning (7:40 CST or so) and it’s my ex telling me that our eldest (17) has been in a wreck. I gather “swerved to miss a deer” and “ambulance on its way” before she says “I gotta go” and hangs up. So straight out of work for me, into the truck and to the hospital… 45 miles away.

I managed to keep it at 9 miles above the posted speed limit (divided multi-lane highways the entire way), but I was sorely tempted to put on the hazards and floor it.

Made it to the ER to find my baby shaking, in a neck brace, and unable to speak. I won’t bore you with the details, so I’ll fast-forward three hours to the after the morphine, X-Rays, and CT scan: nothing broken and no internal bleeding. Concussion, black eye, and a full-body bruise. She’s gonna feel like she was trucked by a pro linebacker for a week or so, but nothing permanent.

And then the fun parts. Insurance, tow, hospital billing, cleaning out her car.

Baby, I tried to teach you to never swerve. I know your instincts took over–it happens to all of us sometimes. But I hope you’ve learned–both hands on wheel, eyes ahead to catch those peripheral warning flashes, break hard if needed, wheel straight ahead.

And I never want to clean out someone else’s car again for any reason, given how relatively benign this time was. I would have broken doing it if you’d been seriously injured, or worse.

And baby? The empty box of Black and Milds doesn’t bother me. I know you smoke pot, but occasionally and responsibly. I believe you haven’t driven under the influence. And the three-quarters empty bottle of Kahlua in the trunk? Doesn’t bother me either. I know you drink once in a while, but I also know you’re the DD for your friends 3 out of 4 times, and that you take that responsibility seriously and don’t drive drunk.

But sweetie, the pack of Marlboro menthols in the console? You’ve held out for so long, even when many around you gave in. I believe you’re honest with me, and the last time we talked about the booze, pot, and smokes, you hadn’t tried the cigarettes yet.

Funny how our minds and emotions work, isn’t it? The three most overpowering emotions I’ve felt today were fear for your safety, relief at the hospital results, and disappointment finding the cigarettes.

But for you, for now, only my fear and my relief are germane (and my love). I’ll tell random strangers on the internet about the disappointment. I may or may not bring it up with you when you’re all better again, and my heart is whole.

I’m so very glad it wasn’t worse - we just named the new ice rink for a 17-year-old high school hockey goalie who swerved to miss a deer, in the car his father had just bought him.

I’m very sorry to hear that.

It doesn’t make any sense, does it? I came stupidly close (I mean, inches) to mortal injury as a teenager. I burned through a few lifetimes of luck by the time I was 16. And some others I knew seem to catch every bad break.

I drove past my daughter’s wreck sight today. It’s a narrow, paved, two-lane, undivided county road. No shoulders, with a steep drop-off to the side. Looking at the tire tracks, she missed a telephone pole to her right by about five feet and a culvert to her left by about 10.

By chance, her best friend and best friend’s step-dad were right behind her on the road. After daughter threaded the needle, she bottomed out, went airborne, managed not to roll, and came to rest in the front yard of a farm. We had a second-hand account of exactly how frightful the whole thing was.

Sorry if I’m rambling. I haven’t felt endorphins like this since I was in her shoes.

((hugs)) I’m very, very glad to hear she’s ok :slight_smile:

It’s been emotional…

PandaBear, thanks for the hug. I mean it.

I’ve had this weird up and down day, full of emotion, stress, and feeling. Posting here let me get out a fair amount of the ineffable.

Four parentheses typed by a stranger let me cry. I actually felt a hug when I read that.

Feel so much better now.

You should be madder at her for using such shitty rolling papers. Black and Milds taste terrible! :slight_smile: The important thing to remember is she’s going to make a full recovery and learned a very important life lesson.

Last Sunday night I was driving back from my parents with my children after a weekend visit. I was on a rural stretch of divided highway on the Eastern Shore of Maryland (EB Rt 50, Mardela Springs for those who care) when a young woman came out of a gas station parking lot and merged directly into the left lane, where I was tooling along at about 65.

In retrospect I was surprised at how calm I was in the less than 2 seconds I had before impact: I thought 1) crap, I really don’t want to destroy my truck, I just got it running; 2) I know the kids are belted in but they are gonna get hurt bad; and 3) why didn’t I see this coming?

The funny thing is less than 15 minutes earlier I had been telling my 12 year old daughter how important it was not to drive distracted. Checking a text, changing the station - doesn’t matter how good a driver you are others may mess up and you have to be ready.

I drive about 60,000 miles a year as a news photog, in a variety of vehicles, in all kinds of weather and in many driving locations. I think of myself as a pretty good driver. In the end I calmly took my top heavy Ford Explorer right into the grassy median, laid off the gas (but didn’t pump the brakes) and prayed we wouldn’t roll.

We didn’t and I was able to slide back up onto the road and regain control. Then I called the Md State Police, reported her and followed her back to Salisbury in case she was drunk. She wasn’t.

Sorry to sidetrack your story. I guess I didn’t want to start my own, but it seemed appropriate to tell it here. From my perspective the moral is there are some things only age and wisdom will teach.

I think back to my youth and that car she drove could have been mine. I did some terribly stupid things when I was young, and I was lucky enough not to have suffered the consequences. In fact the only bad accident I had in my life, a motorcycle wreck which nearly took my left leg, was the fault of another.

I think in many ways she is very fortunate. At a small cost, only things not people, she has the opportunity to see without any prejudice how quickly things can go wrong and how precious life is. Perhaps she might be able to avoid the next few things life throws in her path over the next few years.

I hope for you all that after this if she finds herself late on a dark road, watching her doom suddenly appear before her, she can swerve and come away with a good story.

Hey, just because I don’t flip out about it doesn’t mean I need to aid and abet! Traveling through the shitty phases of drugs and alcohol are rights of passage. :stuck_out_tongue:

Feeling so much better today…