Perverse that I haven’t been active here very long, and one of the few threads I’ve responded to is Gulp. She is driving for the first time - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board
I thought about resurrecting that thread, but decided that Hakuna didn’t need any help losing his hair/having hair go white.
I get a phone call at work this morning (7:40 CST or so) and it’s my ex telling me that our eldest (17) has been in a wreck. I gather “swerved to miss a deer” and “ambulance on its way” before she says “I gotta go” and hangs up. So straight out of work for me, into the truck and to the hospital… 45 miles away.
I managed to keep it at 9 miles above the posted speed limit (divided multi-lane highways the entire way), but I was sorely tempted to put on the hazards and floor it.
Made it to the ER to find my baby shaking, in a neck brace, and unable to speak. I won’t bore you with the details, so I’ll fast-forward three hours to the after the morphine, X-Rays, and CT scan: nothing broken and no internal bleeding. Concussion, black eye, and a full-body bruise. She’s gonna feel like she was trucked by a pro linebacker for a week or so, but nothing permanent.
And then the fun parts. Insurance, tow, hospital billing, cleaning out her car.
Baby, I tried to teach you to never swerve. I know your instincts took over–it happens to all of us sometimes. But I hope you’ve learned–both hands on wheel, eyes ahead to catch those peripheral warning flashes, break hard if needed, wheel straight ahead.
And I never want to clean out someone else’s car again for any reason, given how relatively benign this time was. I would have broken doing it if you’d been seriously injured, or worse.
And baby? The empty box of Black and Milds doesn’t bother me. I know you smoke pot, but occasionally and responsibly. I believe you haven’t driven under the influence. And the three-quarters empty bottle of Kahlua in the trunk? Doesn’t bother me either. I know you drink once in a while, but I also know you’re the DD for your friends 3 out of 4 times, and that you take that responsibility seriously and don’t drive drunk.
But sweetie, the pack of Marlboro menthols in the console? You’ve held out for so long, even when many around you gave in. I believe you’re honest with me, and the last time we talked about the booze, pot, and smokes, you hadn’t tried the cigarettes yet.
Funny how our minds and emotions work, isn’t it? The three most overpowering emotions I’ve felt today were fear for your safety, relief at the hospital results, and disappointment finding the cigarettes.
But for you, for now, only my fear and my relief are germane (and my love). I’ll tell random strangers on the internet about the disappointment. I may or may not bring it up with you when you’re all better again, and my heart is whole.