As a kid I thought clowns were just… stupid. I knew they were supposed to be funny, but I found them to be annoying. When I saw the infamous clown scene in Poltergeist I became genuinely fearful of them. As for the clown dolls, I get creeped out just from looking at them. They have this deceptive look to their faces. I swear that I feel like they are alive and watching me.
*<|:@
Scarey Clown Smilie
No, that would be Washington, D.C.
Who was that famous clown; dressed like a hobo? I think his name was Emmet or something like that. He seemed to be on TV alot in the '70’s. Creeped me out big time, with his sad face and un-funny skits.
As did the paint-by-numbers clowns a friend had on her bedroom walls. I swear their eyes followed me around the room. :eek:
There was always something sinister about clowns. Like they’re fugitives from the law and couldn’t afford plastic surgery so they used grosteque makeup instead.
Clowns haven’t ever bothered me.
“I was very firmly of the belief that once you were an adult you didn’t ‘play’,” said manx . I think that’s kind of sad. Playing is good for you.
Wife’s grandmother clown story #1:
Her grandmother had a 90 yr birthday party to which 100 people showed up. It was a well organized multi-hour event, mostly people relating stories, some people singing, etc. Very tasteful and well done.
Until the clown and her two meth-head understudies show up.
Apparently, someone thought it would be a good idea to just order a clown without telling the organizers. Clown barges in, makes ass of herself, and the 100 of us wait uncomfortably while the clown does her non-funny clowning.
Later, someone else was relating a touching story, and again we hear the honk-unk of a bike horn and the clown is walking in again. The woman talking just kept talking while giving the clown and her zombie spawn the evil eye. The clown kept walking.
Wife’s grandmother clown story #2:
Other grandmother was in a nursing home until she died. Wife’s parents were moving her stuff out of the nursing home. Another clown was there for something, acting like a clown, and as my wife’s parents walk by carrying a cabines the clown said in her cheery voice “Moving out?” “Uh, yeah,” he says. He later regretted not asking “Yes. Can you guess why?”
I never “got” clowns. Even as a kid. They’re not funny - not even mildly amusing. IIRC there are few, if any, clown advocates when one of these threads appears. It would be interesting to see a study as to why the tradition persists. Any Doper out there needing a thesis topic?
I make it a point to bury a hatchet between the bushy eyebrows of every clown that crosses my path.
Freakin’ weirdos. There are few things that I hate worse than clowns. I hate them worse than I hate telemarketers and pandas combined.
True story: while working here at the college, some of the kids found out that I don’t like clowns, so one of them floated the idea that he’d dress up as a clown for Halloween and ‘surprise me.’ Well, I surprised him. I took him aside the day before Halloween and said, “Son, if you plan on dressing up as a clown tomorrow to spook me, you should know that I plan to stab you in the heart with this letter opener if you do that. I’ll then hold you close for a slow count of sixty to make sure that you’re really dead. Then I’m going to piss on you.”
Suffice it to say that I’ve never been ‘threatened’ by clowns since. Fucking Freaks.
Oh, lordie, I clicked on one of the links, only to see those dreaded words I’d hoped never to read: “Follow this link to see a funny Leprechaun.”
Stonebow–May you live long and prosper. And never meet a clown. 
I got your evil clown right here! ::shudder::
I hate clowns. When I was a kid I thought they were stupid (never liked broad physical humor, even as a wee one) and as I got older I started getting the scary vibe from them. As with many other posters, Poltergeist didn’t help at all.
My grandmother was an artist, and when I was a little kid she painted me a picture for my room: a clown doll. It was the creepiest thing I ever saw. Its eyes followed you around the room wherever you went, and it had this vaguely menacing expression (I’m sure Grandma didn’t mean for it to look that way, but it did). My mom made me put it on the wall for awhile, but it wasn’t long before I convinced her it wasn’t working out. I don’t know what happened to it–these days I’d like to have it back to see if it was really as creepy as I remembered, but Mom probably sold it at a garage sale because she can’t find it.
Hate them for all of the reasons mentioned so far, and I thought I’d float another theory as well. (“Down here we ALL float!”)
One of my idiosyncrasies is that I don’t like to eat things that are red, because I associate the color red with gore. (Of course, I do manage to keep my weirdness at a manageable level and eat spaghetti from time to time.) My point is, you have some pushy, loud person trying to get a reaction out of you and the whole area around its mouth is smeared with red. Why? Has it been eating babies or something? If you ask me, the answer is yes.
I DID paraphrase… but I wanted to distill the point. Whether they “pull feathery flowers outta your ass or make that mime-y sad face” or whatever… they try to SHAME people to come out into “clown world” and make asses out of themselves… so that people that dig clowns (freakish bastards that they are) will laugh, not at the clown, but at the poor son of a bitch the clown singled out. Clowns abso-freakin’-lutely wierd me out. I have NEVER seen a funny clown act.
The only clowns that do not completely skeeve me out are rodeo clowns… am I alone here, or are rodeo clowns different?
What’s yellow and orange and looks good on a clown?
FIRE!
The only acceptable thing that has anything to do with clowns is Smokey Robinson & the Miracles’ “Tears of a Clown”.
I am stealing this one.
People don’t like mimes, right? Well a clown is a mime with the most hideously garish makeup known to man. The fact that a few movies have slammed them have only cemented their position of creeee-P!
However…
I saw a new take on clowns that works pretty well. I was down to SeaWorld in Orlando and they have this Cirque du Soleil-type show called Odyssea. Part of the act was this travelling vagabond-type character that was — with the exception of make-up paint — a clown.
Clowns can be cool in a surrealistic sort of way. I was never really scared of them as a child; I was too busy being scared of arbitrary things like household appliances.
Not a fan of clowns. Or mimes, for that matter. There has always been a lack of “funny” in the clown routine for me, and often a strong streak of pathos which I was never compelled to respond to.
But at the back of my mind is a small question, which will drive me out of bed in a few hours in search of the answer:
Were clowns ever REALLY meant to be funny, or for children? Were they not, once upon a time, meant to highlight some grotesque aspect of humanity to the culture that hatched them for festival purposes, in the mists of time?
I wish I hadn’t lost my Joseph Campbell books. I’ll bet he’s got an answer.