I happen to think the answer is obvious, but I’d be interested to see any possible dissent.
Incidentally, I’m placing this in Cafe Society because it deals with fictional boxers- but if the mods want it in The Game Room, that’s fine too.
The only reason Rocky lost his first fight with Clubber Lang was because he knew that Mickey probably dying in the locker room. Yes, he allowed far too many distractions during his training for the first fight but he would have beat Clubber anyway. His loss was entirely tied up with his worrying about Mick.
After Rocky’s extended homoerotic training sequence with Apollo Creed, he kicks Clubber Lang’s ass in a mere three rounds.
Ivan Drago, on the other hand, takes Rocky the full fifteen rounds- and that’s after Rocky’s most severe and dedicated training ever.
Clubber Lang is fierce and he is relentless but he’s not all that skilled a boxer. His success is founded upon his brutality but he needs the quick victories that he has become accustomed to. He’s gotten used to knocking his opponents out in two or three rounds, he’s not forward thinking enough to maneuver through a lengthy bout.
Ivan Drago is a bit clumsy- which may simply be due to having to always fight opponents so much shorter than he is- but he has an Olympian’s understanding of fundamentals.
Clubber would need skill, speed, and strategy just to compensate for his significantly shorter reach- he has none of those three things. His brute force wouldn’t be enough to get him through two rounds with Drago.
Anything’s possible. Smaller heavyweights have knocked out bigger ones. Look at Mike Tyson and Buster Douglas. People considered Tyson invincible, and Douglas a tomato can, but the much bigger Douglas knocked him out. Then the smaller Holyfield knocked out Douglas. Holyfield lost 2 out of 3 to the monstrous Riddick Bowe, but in the third fight to the amazement of everyone knocked down Bowe with a single punch. Going back in time, Jack Dempsey, who probably couldn’t get a fight against modern heavyweights knocked out Jess Willard, who resembled an oak tree. It kind of helped that Dempseys right hand had been encased in plaster under his glove. Boxing is about skill, size and strength help, but skill wins most of the time.
We’ve got one vote for Clubber Lang but no accompanying commentary from whoever voted for him. I would love to read a description of the fight where Clubber Lang beats Ivan Drago.
Who voted for Clubber? Let us know the scenario you envision!
Well, I voted for Drago. But I could see him getting overconfident. Maybe he beats Rocky soundly and gets a bit cocky. Clubber trains relentlessly (with a catchy montage, of course).
Or maybe the match is set in the US. Drago wants to defect but has to lose the fight to be able to as he’ll be too valuable to the Commies if he wins. Lang realizes that Drago is trying to lose and convinces him to give it a fair fight - he doesn’t want anybody letting him win after he worked so hard. Lots of punch-taking, etc etc, and then Lang wins anyways. Drago is rejected by his Soviet masters but lives happily ever after on Venice Beach.
I voted for Clubber. He’s a force of nature, much like Tyson in his prime.
Drago is tough, but he’s robotic. I just can’t see him standing up against the hurricane of ‘pain’ that Clubber would bring. As a child, Clubber actually scared me. Drago never really scared me, he was just a boxing robot.
It’s interesting looking at the evolution of Rocky’s opponents from the smooth, Ali-like Apollo to the blistering street toughness of Clubber that mimicked Tyson to the Euro-robo-fighter that is Drago and is echoed in the Klitchkos (sp).
Hijack - I just watched Rocky again first the first time in a long time and man, is the boxing terrible. So over the top offensive (nobody defends and they hardly ever miss their punches) with no pretense of reality. -End hijack
I can see Lang’s trainers being all "Clubber, this guy is different. You have to train a bit different to beat him. You have to do stuff like haul a yoke and run in the snow.
And Lang would be all “Naw man, I’m the greatest! I am just going to beat him with pure American muscle! I’ll keep training however I want!”
It wasn’t allowed, it was done. It was a long time ago, very little regulation, and nobody bothered with inspecting gloves and hand wraps before the fight. On top of that, nobody even considered a possiblility of Dempsey winning, some people thought Willard might kill Dempsey since he was so much larger. You can probably find footage of the fight online. Even with the loaded glove Dempsey had to knock him down many times before Willard gave in. And in those days he was allowed to hover over a downed fighter and hit him again as soon as he stood up.