Ok I have a girl in one of my classes who is very distressed that the dorms have co-ed bathrooms. I have her as an academic advisee and she is very disturbed about this.
She knew coming into the school that the bathrooms were co-ed, but she thought she could get used to it. Guess not because her grades are falling and she is taking using the bathrooms in the gymnasium for her daily needs.
I told her that she should speak with her roomates about the problem - she is a freshman and her roomates are upper classmen - this is a norm at this school.
What do the teeming millions think? Could you handle a co-ed bathroom? Could you Guys, take care of business next to a girl? Or vice the verse?
What are some possible pro’s and con’s?
Reference: I work at a small liberal arts college, and we are quite liberal.
I thought, when I first read the OP, that he was talking about those one-stall unisex bathrooms that both sexes use…but you’re talking about a multi-stalled affair, aren’t you?
Being the daughter my mother raised, I have to raise my hand and say, “Ugh!” Men don’t belong in a room where women are stranded, half-naked, on toilets.
Men piss all over the seat. Plain and simple. Particularly when it isn’t their bathroom, and their mess to clean up. They piss all over the seat, the floor, the handle, etc…trust me, I work at a bar with one single-stall bathroom per sex, and the men are always sneaking into the women’s bathroom. You can always tell by the prevailing reek of piss that a man has been in there.
Do these bathrooms have separate locking stalls, Phlosphr? Do the men have urinals so the stalls are free for the girls?
I still don’t like the idea. Public bathrooms are bad enough when you only have your own sex to deal with; I can’t imagine sharing that space with a bunch of guys, too.
I could never poop knowing a female could walk in at any time. I have a hard time pooping around other guys - I can’t imagine females being thrown in to the fray.
Coed multistalled bathrooms? That’s rather bizarre; in four years of college housing and a great deal of hostelling, I’ve never encountered such a setup. I probably wouldn’t be too fussed if I did – I’d consider them unpleasant but tolerable – but I can’t imagine what the pros would be. What’s the college’s rationale for having them?
Her grades are falling because she can’t poop next to a boy? Maybe she has deeper issues than a co-ed bathroom.
Can she transfer to another dorm? One of the schools I attended had co-ed bathrooms but only on certain floors of certain buildings. I was a little disconcerted the first time I had make an offering next to a member of the fairer sex but after listening to her rip loose I was a little more comfortable.
So, it was a little weird the first time. But afterwards it was fine. It was especially cool when you didn’t have to risk the RA’s wrath sneaking your SO into the bathroom for a little shower-time togetherness!
Now, I don’t have a cite, and I’m too lazy to find it, but I do recall reading a study that showed men’s bathroom are more bacteria free than women’s. There’s some food for thought.
It isn’t the bacteria she is complaining about. It is the piss!
Are these just bathrooms with toilets and sinks or are they shower areas too? I would hate (but could deal with) co-ed toilets. I can not imagine having to deal with co-ed shower areas, especially with college age boys.
In the one that I used, the men sat down to piss. The bathrooms all had individual stalls for the toilets (no urinals), a bunch of sinks, and individual shower stalls. Each shower stall had a curtain closure and a small area in which to change. Plenty of privacy, unless you wanted to be seen (which was actually pretty common).
It’s difficult . Many women are toilet seat hoverers, and because of the nature of female urine ejection anatomy being more akin to a shotgun dispersal pattern than rifles, many tend to splatter pee all over the seat. Some women also seem to believe that toilets are magical conduits to another dimension and will flush things down the toilet that really, in a non-magical world should not ever be flushed, but believe that swaddling them in many layers of toilet paper will somehow fool the magical toilet into accepting their offerings. The toilets soon clog and all hell breaks loose.
My freshman dorm had coed bathrooms like this. It was really not a problem, although I distinctly remember one guy throwing a fit until the women agreed not to try to flush their tampons down the toilet. Apparently he had had a summer job that consisted primarily of unclogging toilets after women had clogged them up with partially flushed tampons. The experience had been a tramatic one.
(Actually my sophmore had coed bathrooms too, but since there were two of them we just arbitrarily designated one for the women and one for the men. You still had confused visitors, but most of the time they were single-sex. Is this an option for your advisee?)
I lived in a dorm that had co-ed batherooms. Most of the time it was fine. The bathrooms were cleaned daily by the custodial staff and by and large the men and women were considerate of each other. If I really needed to poop and someone else was in there, there were at least 2 bathrooms in the building that were one stall only where you could lock everyone out.
A friend of mine hated it if anyone heard him pee, so he’d sing really loudly to keep everyone else out of the bathroom AND to mask the sound of his flow. This served the ironic purpose of alerting everyone on the hall to the fact that he was peeing.
The only incident I can think of was when this one guy refused to flush after peeing. Some girls got up in arms about it, but it was really no big deal. I personally have no problems with co-ed bathrooms.
We had co-ed bathrooms in college.
This pretty much sums it up:
The first week, it was cool and cutting edge. The subsequent weeks, you just wanted whatever person of whatever gender out of your way.
Pros:[ul][li]You could always use the bathroom closest to wherever you were at any time instead of hunting around for the appropriate sex bathroom.[/li][li]It did destroy illusions.[/li][li]There was generally always a stall or shower open, somewhere, in one of the bathrooms (so it seemed as though there was less waiting than there would have been with designated bathrooms.)[/ul][/li]
Cons:[ul][li]My parents had a hard time with it. (Which, was arguably a pro)[/li][li]Apparently, even at ages 18+, some guys can’t aim and can’t flush.[/ul][/li]
Overall, it was convenient, and that far outweighed any negatives.
I had co-ed bathrooms in my dorm. They were pretty livable. (Specs: 4 stalls, 2 urinals, 4 or 5 stall showers, 4 or 5 sinks)
Problems:
Pee on the seats. I blamed this, vocally, on the guys until I discovered that it was some of the women. :o
They were only cleaned twice a week.
There was one guy who did haircuts in there and never cleaned up properly. Invariably, this was right after a cleaning.
Sex in the showers–always someone from another floor (I presume people on our floor went to another one).
Not problems:
It wasn’t usually crowded. I can’t remember ever actually having to poop next to a guy.
Shower stalls were so configured that peeking was near-impossible.
Guys were overall quite considerate, esp. when you realize that our floor was 80% male. It probably helped that they were mostly sophomores.
Some people just aren’t cut out for adaptability, I guess. My cousin had a friend who dropped out just because her dorm roommate had a boyfriend who slept over. She didn’t even try to work it out, I think. Anyway this girl needs to either adapt or find an apartment where she can be alone, or something. I agree that this shouldn’t be a problem to the point that her grades are dropping. Deeper issues, perhaps?
Good thing we’re not tossing around blatant generalizations all over the place.
Same for UCSC, Stevenson (Buffy’s college ;)). I didn’t attend, but visited often. First time I was sitting down with the Stall Seat Journal in my hands and I saw painted toenails enter the next stall, I thouight it was weird, being the first time I’d been in a public restroom with a female. Got over it pretty quickly.
Now, Troy, don’t get all up in arms here; I’ve worked at this bar for a year and a half and I’m speaking from my experience, not for men/bathrooms everywhere. While women, as several other posters have noted, can also do the “hover” thing and inadvertently piss on the seat, I do believe it’s generally out of a woman’s power to cover the floor in piss. Unless she’s doing a kind of power-squat-piss-and-frog-leap dance for half an hour. (Which I’d almost like to see, particularly if most of it didn’t end up on her legs and shoes.)
Men who are drunk, OTOH, are quite capable of blithely pissing in the “general direction” of the toilet, and considering it close enough.
(Jeez, Phlosphr, you’re freaking me out. You teach at a small liberal (VERY liberal) arts college that has co-ed bathrooms and is located 41 degrees north… if I didn’t see the “east” part in your profile, I’d think you were one of my profs. You’re even in my department!)
I live in a women-only section, but I spend a lot of time down the hall, and it’s never disturbed me to have a guy come in. I know that some people are shy poopers, though…
Honestly, isn’t it a little late in the year for her to be tweaking about this? I think she should see some therapist about the psychological end of this, finish the year, and try to get an apartment off-campus.
In the meantime, if she has sympathetic friends on the floor, maybe they can stand guard for her.
(And guys may aim pee more randomly, but at least they don’t think that all of their hair falls at a perfect perpendicular to the floor and therefore will disappear through the holes in the drain. Freakin’ Sasquatches shedding into the grate and loping off…)
While women, as several other posters have noted, can also do the “hover” thing and inadvertently piss on the seat, I do believe it’s generally out of a woman’s power to cover the floor in piss. Unless she’s doing a kind of power-squat-piss-and-frog-leap dance for half an hour. (Which I’d almost like to see, particularly if most of it didn’t end up on her legs and shoes.)