It totally depends on the type of work you do, the culture of your company and your relationship with your coworkers.
In my old job in a professional services firm, the company itself isn’t very hierarchial. You have different levels like Associate, Sr Associate, Manager, Director etc, but it’s not like the army. We’re all professionals so it isn’t like there is a major class distinction either.
It’s understood that no matter how friendly you are with your boss, there is still an appropriate level of respect that you are supposed to show them by virtue of their position. And there is a certain level of respect you show your subordinates as well.
Generally in a professional environment, while the more senior person has ultimate say in how a task should be completed, they generally don’t act like some sort of shift manager overlord. They are generally more of a “coach”, guiding and mentoring the more junior staff, as required. My old boss in my current job didn’t get that. She treated everyone like shit and made it clear that we were at the bottom of her strict hierarchy. And you know what happened? Nobody did a single tasks that she did not explicitly tell us to do and nothing got done until she left the company.
I found that in most professional services jobs, if you have an employee that needs to be “bossed” constantly, they tend not to last.
I agree that it’s very dependent upon the workplace culture of one’s particular situation. Where I work, the co-worker approach is definitely preferred. If I am introducing people, I say “I’d like you to meet my colleague, featherlou.” I’m in education so it’s possible that as a field, it’s more fuzzy wuzzy than some other industries.
I’m defining it as it is usually understood – it’s common, non-esoteric definition: To manage, direct, or control. And I know that a manager has to manage almost everyone sometime; my point is that in general, you have to spend more time managing bad employees, and less time managing people who know their jobs, are good at them, and take the initiative to do them.
On a daily basis, I don’t feel like I’m the “boss” of my assistant, because she’s good at her job and does it professionally and confidently. We work very well together. Certainly I would never rub in her face that OOH I’M HER BOSS, because . . . why would I do that? She knows it and I know it. Most of the time it’s not really relevant and if it’s not relevant, who cares? She is my colleague AND my subordinate. But the former is always relevant in a mutually respectful working relationship; the latter is only relevant if I have issues with her performance, either good or bad. Good issues, I have issues once a year (performance review). Bad issues, I never have with her.