Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the coconut crab:
I have some trouble visualizing lengths in my head (I know do-loops, not dowel rods) so I had to google up some images. I found a page with a mixture of coconut crabs and Alaskan king crabs, but it’s easy to differentiate them: Coconut crabs look like they want to tear your soul apart. I really hope this is a 'shop. I do. Same with this one. Fuck the Raid, we need napalm and lots of it. Headcrabs should not get bigger than my head.
Them’s some honking big ugly crabs.
No, they’re not shopped. They have to be that big and tough in order to live on dry land and to open coconuts. I’ve seen plenty of them in various nature films, including one of Tony Bourdain’s episodes. He was in Tahiti, and someone roasted up a coconut crab for him. I wonder if it tasted like coconuts?
I think the Alaskan crabs are uglier. They’re all spindly and covered with fucking spikes. (Not that this keeps me from eating them.) The coconut crabs are downright handsome in comparison. Anyway I don’t think they’re dangerous to humans.
I think the coconut crabs are awesome. I’d love to have one as a pet.
That’s not a crab, that’s the thing that attached itself to John Hurt’s face in Alien.
Note that wikipedia says the largest land-living arthropod. There are worse horrors that lie in the depths. These might not look as creepy, and are less likely to eat you in your sleep due to their aquatic physiology, but I’m sure you can appreciate a 12 foot leg span.
Outstanding combo of user name and post content. Outstanding.
I don’t really see why it would. I mean…do cows taste like grass and corn? 
I get that a lot. I almost typed an even more appropriate line unintentionally but corrected myself. I assure you that I have fewer than six tentacles in real life.
bouv it might not make them taste exactly like their food, but a cow’s diet certainly affects the meat’s taste.
#9 on this says the photo of the crab shown is not shopped. Dunno how reliable Cracked is, but it’s funny. NSFW language though!!!
I fully realize that, and I even know what you’re linking to by name alone. The thing is, of course, that I’m a land-dweller who doesn’t even scuba dive, let alone go down into the really deep ocean. I’m only creeped out by things I could find crawling on my chest when I wake up.
(Oh yes, I’m glad I live in Montana. So very, very glad.)
There’s a marked difference between cows fed on grass and those fed on corn. Corn fed beef is richer and milder, while grass fed beef ( most commonly from Argentina and elsewhere in S America is leaner with a more gamy, some say livery flavor.
I love crab and would steam one of those coconut crabs and dig in in a second.
They look meaty and delicious to me. I wouldn’t want one to land in my hair though.
I never said they wouldn’t taste different than other crabs that eat…umm…whatever it is your average crab eats (I’m guessing small fish and athropods,) just that there’s no reason to think they would taste like coconut.
Mmmm… coconut crab.
::drools::
I fully agree with everyone who thinks a coconut crab would make a fine meal. Just don’t ask me to kill one and certainly don’t surprise me with a live one.
bouv: Actually, I think smaller crabs are carrion-eaters. I might be wrong, though. (Catfish are bottom-feeders and they taste wonderful. Diet has an impact on how the meat tastes, but it isn’t the sole factor depending on species.)
When the Long Beach Aquarium first opened, they had spider crabs on display. For some reason, they were losing/shedding their legs. The staff person said they hadn’t figured out why. One poor creature was down to just 4 legs. It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.
I haven’t been back since. I hope they figured it out before all the crabs died. 
I have been rostered several times to go on a trip to Christmas Island where coconut crabs can be found but it always gets cancelled at the last minute! Alas I have not yet seen one in real life but I’m looking forward to taking some nice photos when I finally do.
Anti-celeb Steve-O got pinched in the butt by one of these in an episode of the Jackass spin-off, Wildboyz.
ISTR it drew blood.
This is the sort of thing that makes me believe that God is Evil.
