Just past rare 22oz porterhouse au pauve.
That’s green and black peppercorns in a brandy sauce.
Johnny L.A. - you must be my long-lost identical twin with that menu.
As for my partner - he’s a “wipe its butt and walk it out” sort of carnivore. The magic word for ordering this sort of ultra-rare is “blue.”
Mother-in-law, OTOH, is just tragic. She wants the steak that was left on the grill since yesterday. She wants to sneeze and have it crumble and fly away. She doesn’t even want to see brown when she cuts into it. More than once, I’ve wanted to snag the server and tell them to pop down the block to the burger joint, get a 99-cent hamburger and grill that to death for her rather than waste a perfectly good $20 hunk of meat.
gotpasswords, if you believe Tony Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential), your MIL ain’t getting a “perfectly good $20 hunk of meat”, she’s getting whatver slab of beef they have left over that would never pass muster rare, but is unrecognizable well done. Probably deep fried on top of it, just to get the thing cooked faster.
I’ll take a shell steak, salt and pepper, medium rare. Onions on the side, thanks.
Rare, preferably still mooing…
to quote Denis Leary; “bring me a live cow, i’ll carve off what i want, and ride the rest home <Bonanza theme>”
Sirloin. Lightly peppered, heavily salted, touch o’ onion, or garlic. or Olive Oil, whichever you got.
Well-done.
Hash Browns, scattered.
Side o Texas Toast.
Iced Tea, sweet, no lemon.
And steak sauce is a sin against the cow that gave it’s life!
Eat it without sauce, as Og & John Wayne intended steak to be eaten! 
8 oz. ribeye - rare - salt and pepper while cooking and sauted onions and mushrooms over the top. Then since so many others mentioned it that I can taste it now (thanks a lot guys), corn on the cob on the side and a side salad, heavy on the cucumbers and tomatoes.
Dammit. I’m going to have to clean the grill this weekend, now.
Throw in a large handfull of mushrooms, and you’ve about got it for me…
Filet, medium-rare, with garlic salt as flavoring. And asparagus with hollandaise sauce as my side dish.
charred on outside, rare on inside, a couple of really cold beers before and a martini with. With sliced tomatoes.
T-bone, rare. Thanks.
I’ll take a 16 oz ribeye, medium-rare. Season it with LOTS of freshly ground black pepper and some kosher salt. Just a couple dashes of worcestershire sauce will do for condiments.
I’ll take one of those foil wrapped potatos that have been sitting in the coals this whole time, with some chives, bacon bits, just about a whole tub of sour cream to slather all over it.
To drink I’ll haev a bottle of Harp before, then a bottle of Killian’s during, and a margarita afterwards.
Bacon wrapped filet, seared and cooked medium rare. Throw a couple of rock lobster tails on the grill, and serve it all up with a baked potato with sour cream and some asparagus. Wash that all down with a pinot noir–one with a hint of currants and pepper. Top that off with vanilla-bean cheesecake.
Oh, and an angioplasty balloon for a parting gift!
Meet me at St. Elmo’s in six weeks?
Is it the 14th already?
2-inch thick porterhouse (usually weighs 2 pounds or so), cooked black and blue. That is to say, black on the outside, practically raw on the inside. Requires a very hot fire. Fresh cracked pepper and kosher salt, no other seasonings/additions.
Oh, and a huge baked potato with gobs of butter and salt, a nice romaine salad with a garlicky red wine vinaigrette, and a large glass of Bordeaux. Preferably Saint-Julien, but I’m flexible. Sort of. 
I’m a hedonist at heart. And everywhere else.
Alright then, looks like I got about 28 bloody messes comin’ up with all varieties of fixins. A few mediums and a couple of well dones too, which I hold nothing against at all. The Rancid One’s motto is “Have it your Way” (So what if I stole it?).
I think I’m out of potatoes, wasn’t expecting the baked potato barage, so I’ll make a quick trip to Idaho and be back in a flash to serve up…
make that barrage, not “barage” The heat gets to you after a while you know.
I’ll have a New York Strip done medium with some carmelized onions on top. Loaded baked potato on the side, please.
Thank you!
Marinate in a mixture of soy and worcester mixed with fresh ground black pepper, fresh garlic and cayenne pepper for about 15 min a side. Cook to medium rare and serve with grilled onions.
And I’ll just have some rice and butter for the side with some fresh brocolli.
I’ll have a ribeye, with garlic powder and fresh ground pepper shook and rubbed in on both sides. Medium, just pink in the middle. Before eating, salt to taste. No sauce. It doesn’t need any.