Better to have a Garbanzo bean on your face than a chick pea.
The squeaky weasel gets greased.
Corollary: work hard and save your pennies, and someday you’ll be able to trade them in for a shiny nickel.
Every time it rains, it rains.
People who live in grass houses should not get stoned.
Stupidity always has a price
I’ve been saying and living it for decades but a google search pulls up
“Stupidity has a price and it always gets paid.”
— Dan Simmons, author
Those who remember the past are doomed to repeat it…to anyone who’ll listen.
I didn’t invent a single aphorism, I invented an algorithm.
There are a ton of aphorisms about “money.”
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM is improved by adding a “k” after the “n.”
I had to Google “Aphorism”. :rolleyes:
…pennies from Heaven?
(Sing it, bear!)
Every cloud has a silver lining, but sometimes it leaks.
One cannot light a candle without somewhere casting a shadow.
Firm on the whip hand, easy on the plough hand.
When life hands you lemons, pucker up.
The Wisdom of Torque:
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked up into jet engines.
Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
Do not be prejudiced against groups of people for no good reason. There are so many perfectly valid reasons to dislike others on an individual basis.
Rather than marrying and divorcing, it it much easier to find a woman you hate, and buy her a house.
I’ve spent my career in marketing and advertising, and came up with this one a few years ago:
“There’s an inverse relationship between how much fun a consumer has with a product, and how much fun it is to work on that product.”
I’ve had toy companies, soda companies, and fast-food companies as clients; nearly everyone who worked on those businesses were over-stressed and unhappy.
Conversely, I’ve worked on deodorants, which was a ton of fun (and a colleague of mine who works on a plumbing / sewer service account loves it). I strongly suspect that feminine hygiene and hemorrhoid remedies are also great fun. 
A cat’s reality is not your reality, but they sometimes touch each other at feeding time.
The early bird catches the worm, the late worm lives on.
Meditate on this.
Strive to do the right thing, especially if the right thing is to accept reality and change your mind.
I usually see it like this: “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”