Comforting someone with, "There, there"?

What does “There, there” mean in this context? Just soft iterative words? Can I say, “Here, here” instead?

You can say, “Now, now,” but tone matters.

I think the Sheldon Cooper method of using “there, there” was perfect, a way of showing concern when not really giving a damn.

I thought it was a component in traditional British upper class minimalist parenting:

Consolation: “there there”

Praise: “here here”

Rebuke: “now now”

Stern rebuke: “tut tut”

What’s really needed is a line of canned cocktails/edibles/liquor/beer with the brand name of “There, There”.

And when it was sold out, you could say “There is no ‘There, There.’”

< brandishes wet trout >

That’s how Rev. Lovejoy comforted Bart when he was going to the chair.

It goes back to Victorian Britain.

The earliest example we’ve found for the adverb used to comfort someone is from the early 19th century: “There, there, my dear fellow—nay, don’t cry—it will be all well with you yet” (“Incident at Navarino,” The London Saturday Journal, Oct. 19, 1839).

*Oxford’*s first citation for the comforting usage appeared several decades later: “ ‘There, there,’ my poor father answered, ‘it is not that’ ” (from Routledge’s Every Boy’s Annual of 1872). …

It’s possible that the comforting sense of “there, there” may have originated in its use with children, though we haven’t found any evidence to support this.

Hear, hear! Which got us a callout on WhatIs.com

Which is correct?

There were cries of ___________ from board members when the CFO announced that the green computing incentives would also lead to more revenue.
a. “hear, hear”
b. “here, here”

Answer: a. …

The Straight Dope answers this question:

Dear Straight Dope:

When you agree with someone, do you say “Here Here!” or “Hear Hear” ? And what does it mean? What is the origin of “Here Here” or “Hear Hear”?

— Tymoma195

The correct term is, “hear, hear!” It is an abbreviation for “hear, all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!”

‘I’m cold,’ Snowden said again in a frail, childlike voice. ‘I’m cold.’
‘There, there,’ Yossarian said, because he did not know what else to say. ‘There, there.’

Thank you for correcting that

Chin chin

I like the Liz Lemon version.

Awkward

“There… There. Don’t be cry.”

Was it Gertrude Stein who said that it wouldn’t apply in Canada :)?

Nope, because the latter is celebrating, which may be what you actually want to do but certainly are not going to reveal in front of the bereaved. LOL

Seriously, though, I try to avoid hackneyed or trite phrases. I think a hug and words of encouragement are far more helpful and appreciated.

Since Radiohead’s video twenty years ago, the phrase has taken on a sinister tone for me.

There, there…shut up boy.

And, of course, if you are comforting a grammar nazi, it is “Their, they’re, there”.

I’d buy the shit out of edibles under the brand name “Their/There/They’re.”

American, “There, there.”

British, “Hear, hear.”

Canadian, “Hey, hey.”

Australian, “Goober-Polly.”

Scottish (grabs his pipes…)