Hate
Buddy Bradley—Bud Cort, circa 1973 would be a great choice. I can’t think of any modern actors who could fit the bill. An unknown along the lines of Bud Cort back then would be fine. Anyone who can do it with lousy posture.
Stinky Brown—Leonardo diCaprio. Yes, I’m serious. The ladies love him, just like Stinky. He’s blond, just like Stinky. Does he have genital warts, just like Stinky? Well, makeup can take care of that.
George Hamilton—Will Smith. The guy’s versatile, and he looks young enough. Smith doesn’t usually play unpleasant, brooding, loner types, I don’t think, but I’m sure he could pull this off.
Valerie Russell—Mila Kunis. I think she’s wonderful. She could easily play a confused control freak like Valerie. She’s a little short, but Hollywood can work magic. Either that or we could get Megan Mullally. Or Audrey Tatou!
Lisa Leavenworth—Franka Potente. She does a decent American accent, and I suspect she’s capable of the comedy that this role would involve. She also dies her hair all the time, so she’d do just fine.
That does it for the main cast. I wouldn’t want to clutter this thing up with too many stars. I guess the plot could revolve around Buddy and Valerie meeting. Then Hate II: The Return of Butch could drag Buddy’s younger brother into the storyline, though I’m not sure who would play him. Hate III: Leonard and the Love Gods wouldn’t include Butch, but would include Kurt, Kurt, Kurt and the other guy in Stinky’s band. (Boy! This is fun!)
Hate IV: Buddy Goes Home could be marketed as a grittier version of Garden State. We’d meet Butch again, plus Buddy’s parents. Who would play them? Tracy Ullman could play Mrs. Bradley, or maybe Shelly Duval. Maybe Dabney Coleman could play Mr. Bradley. Parker Posey could pull off Babs Bradley very well. Christopher Titus could play Jimmy Foley; I’m not sure who I’d get to play the losers Jake and Pencils. Maybe Jack Black and Topher Grace, respectively. They’d be crucial to the plot of Hate V: Let’s Start a Crackhouse! in which Butch considers a new career and Stinky is back in the picture. Would the world be able to handle Hate VI: The Death of Stinky? I can see a couple more movies coming out of this, but I think I’ve already overly bored anyone crazy enough to read this far.
It’ll be just like Singles with all the grunge soundtracks but without all the love and good feeling!