Commercial scenes that make no sense

Cafe Society
1

A certain commercial for tourism in Mexico has been airing on and off in the US for abot a yyear now. A man working in a corner office in a hich rise building gets a call from some jubilant friends. After talking to them for a second, he says “wait a minute; I have an idea.” He calls his secretary, and isssues a command; “Susan, get me two tickets to Mexico!”

Two tickets to Mexico.

Most commercials are dumb, but there’s always some that seem just … well, completelt and totally unrealistic, because they portray supposedly real-life scenarios that would never, ever happen in real life. For example, the EXTREME! interracial basketball game in the ghetto; a Buick speeding on a twisty mountain road; a group of perky senior citizens all riding electric scooters; or a square-jawed thirtysomething executive stepping out of a skyscraper and striking a pose, staring upwards optimistically into the distant sky. What else have you noticed?

2

Black people singing to fast food and soda beverages.

3

Life gets better with genital herpes.

Woman love to dance, bowl, shuffle about, kick really high when they use maxi-pads.

4

A Lexus is a perfect mother’s day gift.

5

Gatorade-fueled sweat glowing like radioactive waste.

6

Boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner is cause to rejoice.

7

The starter button for a Lexus is located deep inside a glacier.

8

Car or truck ads where they show the vehicle doing something extraordinarily unrealistic, then in small print at the bottom of the screen the usual “Professional driver on closed course, do not try this at home, blah blah blah…” What’s the point of trying to sell me a vehicle by showing it doing something it really can’t do?

9

I’m always puzzled by the orgasmic looks on women’s faces in shampoo ads. Shampooing doesn’t do that for me.

Of course, the ads don’t always show the locations of both the woman’s hands. And there may be someone else sharing the shower with her.

10

That Strattera commerical where the woman’s mind is wandering. WTF is with the giant bunny?

11

That Suzuki Aerio commercial where the guy is scolding his kids because they opened the car windows while they were in a carwash. The pitch is that the Aerio has childproof windows. Yet the commercial shows children somehow opening these childproof windows in a carwash. So are they childproof or not? Why would you advertise childproof windows by showing children opening them? How did this commercial ever get out the front door of the agency? “Hey, buy our car because it has this neat feature that doesn’t work!”

12

I remember one about (I think) Global promoting its football coverage:

[sights of tackles, blocks, general mayhem, with deep-voiced commentary] :“Who ever said Sunday was a day of rest?”
…uh… God?

13

I just saw another one.

“Hello, Enterprise? I’m at the repair shop, and I need a car!”

In the background is a sign that reads “REPAIR SHOP.”

First off, if you’re at an auto repair garage, there isn’t going to be a sign reading “REPAIR SHOP” - it’s obvious where you are. Instead will be some signs with text like “AC-DELCO PARTS”, “ASE CERTIFIED AUTOMOBILE TECHNICIAN”, “NEW YORK STATE OFFICIAL INSPECTION STATION” and “NO OUT-OF-STATE CHECKS.”

Second, the folks at Enterprise .Auto Rental are probably going to answer the phone like this:

“Hello, and thank you for calling Enterprise Auto Rental. My name is Brad. Would you like to hear about our $69.95 unlimited mileage SUV weekend getaway rental special?”

In response, you’re probably not going to say “Hello, Enterprise?”

Third, as if Enterprise is going to know exactly where you are when you say you’re at the “repair shop.”

On another note, I gotta’ love the ones where the kids are enthusiastic abot omething that they’d normally be ambivalent about.

Commercial world:
Mom: Hey, kids, would you like some Sunny Delight?
Kid 1: Sunny D! Awesome!
Kid 2: Sunny D! Woohoo!
Kid 3: Sunny D! Allright!
Kid 4: Sunny D! Extreme!
Kid 5: Sunny D! Excellent!

Real world:
Mom: There’s some orange drink in the fridge if you want any.
Kid 1: Okay.
Kid 2: Can I use the bathroom?
Kid 3: Is that (kosher/halal/organic/peanut free)?
Kid 4: (grunts)
Kid 5: Hey Taylor, your mom’s a MILF! Boioioioioing! Schwing! Hehehe … no dude, really, I’d tap that. Boioioioioioioioiing!

Beats Mexican televiion, though, where in every commercial that they appear in, ki are alway screaming.at the top of their lungs.

Niño: DELIGHT DEL SOL ES MUY DELICIOSO! VIVA DELIGHT DEL SOL! AYYYYYYYYY! GRACIAS, MAMA!
Baritone voiceover: Delight del Sol. Todo la familia.

14

The Disaronno commercial always disturbed me.

I’ve never actually seen anyone order a Disaronno, let alone a group of five people ordering slightly different Disaronno drinks. Then the one girl orders Disaronno on the rocks, which inspires an annoying I-wanna-slap-you grin from the bartender. Then he casually grabs her glass off the bar, assuming she’s finished without asking her, which causes her to slowly shake her head and grin at him like a lobotomy patient, because she wants to suck the Disaronno-addled ice cubes from her glass rather than just order another drink. This earns her another I-wanna-slap-you grin from the bartender. Barf.

15

“Four of five dentists recommend Dentyne (or is it Trident) gum for their patients who chew gum.”

Really, did someone actually take a poll to find this out? And what does the fifth dentist recommend instead, anyway? I’ve never had the inclination to ask my dentist just to see what he’d say (and he’s probably tired of all his other patients asking him this question.)

16

Heh. The Master speaks.

17

Donnie Darko reference?

18

This has driven me crazy for years! They do it in commercials, on TV shows, in movies, you name it. Someone calls a place of business and says “Hello, <name of business>?”

EVERY BUSINESS IN THE WORLD ANSWERS THE PHONE BY IDENTIFYING THE NAME OF THE BUSINESS. What kind of deranged idiot would respond with, “Hello, <name of business>?”

19

Maybe it’s a subtle ad for dual-headed shower massages…

I’m struck in general by the vast majority of cell phone ads which go out of their way to tell me that most cell phone providers suck rocks and charge a ton of money for their services. “Oh, but not us!” :dubious: