Commercials Currently Annoying You

Cafe Society
141

There’s one now that plays all the time-- it played twice during one commercial break-- for a glorified Poptart, you know, the ones with very little structural integrity, and personally, I would eat them with a fork, but you are still supposed to pick them up, like undercooked pizza, and cram them into your mouth.

Anyway, this one shows a small child in EXTREME close up eating one. It makes me want to vomit. Showing anyone eating anything that close up would probably make me want to vomit. I don’t think there’s a food so tasty, nor a child so cute, it holds up to this kind of scrutiny.

The voice-over says “Look at that sweet face,” and I’m thinking it’s one of the homliest children I’ve ever seen. That’s probably just the extreme close-up, though, because I don’t really have any idea what the kid looks like. I’m pretty sure it’s a girl, but that’s about all. Except she has this food item all over her face; it’s getting everywhere. We used to have an old TV that had a black-out screen for commercials, and I wish I still had that, because even FFing through this on the DVR is too much exposure.

Still doesn’t beat out the one with the pregnant man for sheer grossness, but it’s pretty awful.

142

Six of one. . .
Commercial I just saw that had me shouting at the screen-- Dove soap, I think. An invitation to an exclusive spa. The white towel- robed girls go in for a cleansing and see, dun, dun ,duuuuuuun–DISHWASHING LIQUID!!! Voiceover Man informs the women that “some shower gels use the same ingredients that can be found in dishwashing liquid!” One of the robed girls can be heard staying, “That’s disgusting!”

Yeah, it’s disgusting that your soap contains soap.

143

All the same, I would like to know just what those ingredients are.

144

It’s not really a big secret.

145

ThisFord Explorercommercial kind of pisses me off. It shows a family loading up into the SUV for a joy ride as a thunderstorm looms in the distance. Then a voice over plays as they drive straight towards the heart of what looks like a truly epic storm:
“She can rage, and roar, and crack, and storm, but Mother Nature can’t stop us.”

Um, yes, you silly idiot, if Mother Nature is so inclined, she could swat you into eternity with the same ease that your Ford extinguishes a gallon of gasoline. Intelligent people don’t hop in the car for a family joy-ride just because they have an SUV. That’s not going to protect you from a flash flood, hydroplaning into a ditch or getting whacked by some driver who’s blinded by rain.

146

One of the things that gets me about those is that, in one of those ads, he asks the focus group to choose which Chevy won best in initial quality (or something similar). Each participant nominates a different car, and then he tells them that they’re all wrong, because ALL THREE Chevys won the award.

Hey, you fucking ninny, that doesn’t mean they were all wrong; it means that they were all (partially) right.

There’s another Chevy ad right now that really annoys me. It’s for the Malibu, and you can see an extended version here. It’s another one of those where they gather a bunch of mouthbreathers around an unbadged car and get them to guess what it is.

Anyway, the ad goes into details about all the incredible features this car has, and how all of these whiz-bang tech and safety features (Apple CarPlay; Teen Driver Technology) make the car perfect as a first car for young drivers. The mouthbreathers all apparently think the car is a BMW or an Audi or a Tesla (despite the fact that it looks nothing like any of them), and think it should be priced anywhere from $45,000 to $80,000.

Then the spokesidiot tells them, “It starts at twenty-two five.” Everyone oohs and aahs about what fantastic value that is for this amazing car.

Except that the “amazing” car they’ve been looking at doesn’t go for anything like $22,500. Small print at the bottom of the screen says something like “As shown: $36,550.” Yeah, minor difference there, assholes. Only 14 grand more for the stuff that you’ve actually been flogging in the ad.

I understand that this sort of shit has been going on in ads for decades, but i think that when the tone of the ad suggests that all the great stuff is part of the car, and the discrepancy in prices is so great, it verges on false advertising.

147

“Verges on”? It’s an outright, baldfaced lie!

148

Any more than an airplane flying straight into a hurricane or an ocean liner steaming into a typhoon would be protected.

149

[quote=“DrDeth, post:127, topic:744655”]

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  • nm - but check the comments on the video!
150

And that has WHAT to do with swamping the people at the bus stop? :mad:

151

I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or arguing that those are somehow intelligent things to do.

152

Neither. An SUV ha no special ability to withstand danger; neither does an airplane or an ocean liner, regardless of their technological advances.

153

You owe me a laptop. And a Woodchuck.

Yeah. A Malibu is a perfect first car for young drivers. My first car cost $560, and I was making less a year than the “lie” price on the car. Hell, I’m barely making enough now to afford a Malibu, not that I’d want one if I could. My uncle had a '72 Malibu, and it was awesome when I was in high school, but it got about 8 miles to the gallon (which considering that I could cram 12 people into it worked out better than it sounds at first), and the differential was sluggish. I took my driver’s test in it, and failed the first time, because of the parallel parking (which I’m great at now that I drive a manual) of that huge thing.

Anyway, who needs a car that big now? you can’t legally cram a bunch of people in a big car anymore, so people with more than two children get minivans, and people with more than one dog get hatchbacks, things that weren’t options back in '72, when people bought big cars like Malibus. When I lived with my aunt and uncle, there were seven of us in the house for a while, so four kids in the back of the Malibu, unbelted, smallest cousin in the middle front, so she could have a lapbelt, and aunt and uncle in front. You can’t do that now.

154

I ran a story thread years ago in MPSIMS in which one character was a woman with fifteen kids. She had a very large van. I wonder what the largest van available today is.

155

Still around.

156

She could be like the Partridges and get a decommissioned school bus.

157

Well, she and her husband were wealthy, so they could buy a top-of-the-line bus if they wanted.

158

Saw, or I should say heard, a commercial on the TV behind me here at work the other day. Not sure what it was for but they kept say something like “how much stuff can you stuff in your stuff stuff stuff” X100 times. It was…awful.

159

*“Heart-Healthy California Walnuts.
Heart-Healthy California Walnuts.
Heart-Healthy California Walnuts.
Heart-Healthy California Walnuts.”
*
Winner of the 2016 “Ad Nauseum” Award

160

There’s a long-running series of radio ads for First American Bank with some guy and his “old country” mother where she needs money for something and he tells her to get a home equity loan. A lot of “There’s leak in basement, whole area one big poodle!” “I think you mean puddle. Why not get a loan…” etc.

The latest one has her saying “I’m buying racehorse!”. He mentions how expensive a race horse is, how you need special stables, trainers and all that and she says “Bah, what you need? Oats, padlock (“I think you mean paddock, mother…”), I get home equity loan from First American like you always tell me!”

Nice work, dude. Now your mom is going to lose her house by taking out a big loan for a racing thoroughbred that she has no idea what to do with.