What are some common or generic sounding error codes or other computer messages that would work for any OS? Or at least what are some common non-Windows error codes? (Preferably linux/unix)
I have a character that when he’s extremely upset speaks in computer, so to speak. Having been raised on Windows, the best I can do is ‘bad command or filename’ and ‘file not found’.
For that matter, what would be the best OS to give to a super-nerd who wants computers to take over the world? (Okay, best answer is he makes his own, but give me something to use as inspiration)
For his own OS, it’s almost certainly some variety of Linux. There are tons of obscure ones out there; any of them would work reasonably well (especially since whatever version he uses, he will almost certainly have made some further modifications to it on his own).
For an error message, I’d recommend either “Segmentation fault” or “Runtime exception: Divide by zero”. The latter should be used in especially exasperating situations, with an air of “Well of COURSE that didn’t work; you’re an idiot for even trying it”.
Segmentation fault (UNIX error that is similar in theory to a Windows General Protection Fault)
Invalid Page Fault (quite a technical error)
File Not Found
Out of Memory
General failure reading <disk> (from MS-DOS)
Access Denied
<device> not ready
Null Reference Exception
Invalid cast
“An error has occured”
Request timed out
Invalid Operation Exception
Keyboard not attached
This function is valid only in Win32 mode
Guru Meditation
Could not load <module>
Even a Linux supernerd would use Internet/Weberrors:
Keys aren’t where you thought you put them? “404!”
EMP device takes out city power? “503!”
Guru A sends you to Guru B who sends you to Guru A? “Too many hops!”
Giant enemy mech overheats and breaks down? “It dumped core!”
Too many people talking at you at once? “Page fault!” or “Leaking semaphores!”
Equipment only works after hitting it? “Tech tap” or “Percussive maintenance”
Probably a Lisp Machine dialect of Lisp. A Lisp Machine uses a Lisp compiler/interpreter (it compiles Lisp to bytecode, then runs it) as its OS, meaning that it is fully programmable and reprogrammable on-the-fly; entering a debugger allows you to do the moral equivalent of performing brain surgery on the machine while it’s running, and you can dig down almost to the hardware level.
What’s more, they were originally used to do AI research, and everyone knows God wrote the Universe in Lisp.
Also, here’s a lot of really bizarre, obscure error messages. It contains the classic “Values of B will give rise to dom.” and (probably) the old chestnut “lpr on fire”. (lpr is what Unix/Linux traditionally calls its printer. “on fire” can mean “on fire”, but it usually means “go check it out right now 'cause I can’t tell what’s wrong”.)
“404” is going to generically mean something along the lines of “I can’t find it”. 404 is the error code for web pages when it can’t find the file requested.
Someone else: Hey, where is that paper I needed you to sign?
Computer geek: Dude, 404.
Someone else: What?
If you try to access something you aren’t allowed to access, that (in computer terms) is called a GPF (aka General Protection Fault). A geek will almost always use the letters GPF.
The geek might also say “seg fault” (a segmentation fault is when a program gets a general protection error and is forced by the operating system to exit).
“Device failure” is going to mean something broke.
Person: What happened to the coffee machine?
Geek: System error. Device failure.
If something totally screws up, your geek may say “kernel panic”. That’s the linux equivalent of the windows blue screen of death. The geek may also say that something encountered an HCB or HCF instruction (HCB = Halt, Crash, and Burn, HCF = Halt and Catch Fire). HCB and HCF come from the days when computer operating systems had very primitive user interfaces and often used 3 letter commands for most things.
Your geek will say “parse error” when he doesn’t understand something.
Going to the bathroom would either be “downloading” or a “core dump”.
Unfortunately the character has no sense of humor and no interest is… well anything besides his machines*, so I can’t get funny. But I’m enjoying all the suggestions.
Thanks everybody.
If anybody cares, he’s based off Techrat from Jem and the Holograms - including stealing the name - but even more anti-social.
That’s awesome. Totally going to use that. Thanks!
