Just out of high school and knows everything-- what a shock. It may help to turn your asshole setting down from “8” to “4” or so. Additionally a few years of working shit jobs ought to give you some perspective.
Go to college Sparky, even a tech college, or prepare to be life’s chew toy.
Those of us who aren’t insulting, idealistic fools have, of course, been through the wringer.
So, of the various screw jobs that have happened to you as an employee (which, of course, wouldn’t have happened, had you not been a lazy, low-IQ mouthbreather accoridng to our esteemed DuderDude2) would you love to see happen to our arrogant assmunch?
Personally, here’s my hope:
There I was, in my first profesisonal job. I was in a small (three-man) highly-specialized section of a large company’s IT center.
The department consisted of me, another guy, and The Old Master. There was, in all honest, about two and a half people’s worth of work in our section. Well, with three guys doing that much work, it was actually a nice and easy job.
But then our company buys another company, and THe Old Master has to spend the better part of six months working on that and only that. So, now you’ve got me and the other guy doing two and a half people’s worth of work. So, life is a little more stressful, a lot busier, and a whole lot less fun.
Well now, the other guy in the department gets engaged. As soon as that happens, he becomes totally fucking worthless. I mean, maybe an hour a day of actual productive work. So now, you’ve got me doing the work two and a half people. At this point I enter the realm of the Perpetual Bad Mood.
So, life goes on. The Old Master is busy doing the conversion from the buy-out. The other guy is doing piddly-shit service tickets. I am just finishing my department’s section of a multi-million dollar project, piddly-shit service tickets, and anything else that anyone needs done (because, of course, one guy was too busy, and the other too worthless…so I was the only person they could call who might be able to get it done for them).
One Tuesday, my boss asks me to come see him. We talk, and cutting out the various concealing bullshit, the main idea of the conversation is that he wants me to teach the other guy how to take care of the multimillion-dollar project (‘In case I call in sick one day or something’). I agree, leave his office, and turn around.
I go back into my boss’s office and ask him if I should be looking for a new job. He assures me that it’s nothing like that, blah blah bullshit, etc.
Thursday, of course, was my last day. Because, you see, a cut had to be made.
They had to make a cut, you see. And it had to be one of the three of us. They couldn’t get rid of The Old Master (till a few months later when he was done with that project and was then disposable), so it was done to me and the other guy.
But how did they make the decision?
Well, some asshole at another branch had looked at the total number of service tickets in the system and had seen that I had done less of them than the other guy.
They didn’t take into consideration the huge time-consuming project I’d been working on for months. They didn’t take into consideration that I was going complete system rebuilds while the other guy was swapping out floppy drives. They never asked any of the people in the local office what they thought.
Nope. X > Y, therefore Y is fucked.
Man, if only I hadn’t been some Welfare Queen who had no training and no viable skills. Because, as DD2 informed us all, if that had been the case I wouldn’t have been the one screwed. And if I bucked the odds and did manage to get screwed, well, I should have managed to have a new job within hours, right?
Shit, I was minimally employed (about 3 days a MONTH through Manpower) for the better part of a year. Two years later, and I’ve finally taken care of the debts my unemployment caused.
I hope something so sweet can happen to our little friend. Teach him his "value’ to a corporation.
-Joe
Then by all means enlighten us with your vast years of experience in the world of employment. We are all aquiver with anticipation of hearing your sage advice based on your extensive work history.
Twit.
My pick has to be the Boston Language Institute. It would have been an OK place to work had the owner not been bleeding the place dry on the pretext of “executive priviledge.” A more selfish and incompetant bastard I have never met. In the 8 months I was there, he bought 2 new cars with company funds, and yet the rest of us had to beg for each and every paycheck. Not that those checks were any good, mind you.
There was a Friday night when all employees were told to stay late to look for a copy of the owner’s “creatively filled out” tax return from several years back. He was being audited, so it was extremely important to find it. He himself could not be bothered to look, though. He spent the whole time playing video games.
Then there was the time when he spilled ice cream on his shirt. He told the receptionist to take it home and launder it. When she refused, he fired her.
The guy refused to buy his own lunch. Every day an employee was made to get it for him. He always – always – complained about what ended up eating.
He would routinely set up new hire interviews for 9 am, but never got around to doing the interviews until 6 pm. The poor interviewee would sit there the entire time, with no lunch and no bathroom breaks.
When the holiday season came around, he would not let any of us take time off, because he didn’t believe in Christmas. He himself took a week off for Winter Solstice, however.
Speaking of which, during that time, he was staying with the VP because the company car (which only he was allowed to drive) was in the shop. He was basically mooching off of the VP and the VP’s family. He got the VP’s wife a holiday gift of a vegetarian cookbook. He made the comment “Now maybe she’ll get the hint.” In other words, the free food he was getting was not up to his standards.
This is all without mentioning his constant berating of us for our lack of moral and religious values.
The whole “If you’re extra valuable to a corporation, you’ll never be fired!” may have been true in 1955. Now it’s “You can be valuable to a corporation. You can make it $5 billion a year while you fellate the CEO and the Board of Directors on demand. But if you get a new management flunky and he sets out to get you fired, or if they outsource your job to India, or if the CEO decides he needs a new Mercedes, so he institutes layoffs, or if HR doesn’t like the way your salary looks in their spreadsheet, or if the shareholders want a bigger dividend…”
It’s assholes like him that make posters groan at high school kids, which pisses off the high school kids who have something to say.
…but it acts like one…a greedy, incompetent one! I give you the Massachusetts Legislature…the biggest bunch of sleazy crooks ever to hold elective office!
The ex-president of the Senate (Mr. William Bulger) has a brother who ran a gang that killed 22 people-and Bulger won’t testify about the whereabouts of his brother!
-Massachusetts regulates industries like insurance,telephone, and power companies. The resultof all the “oversight and regulation”? The highest utility bills in the nation! Case in point: I lost my job once, and needed short term emergency health insurance (basically a “catastrophic” coverage policy-high deductables, but 100% coverage after the first 3000.) Can't buy it in MA-Why? The corrupt insurance commisioner is in bed withthe industry he "regulates"!
Electric power" the legisl;ature "cut" the power rate (/KWH)-ya right! But there are now 5 OTHER charges on the bill!
-Car insurance: howdo you expect a body (the legislature) to regulate an industry, when 60% of the legislature either works for or represents that industry!
So, a hearty “fuck you” to these crooks-I wish every one of them would lose re-election !
Wal-Mart. Just because! 
And whatever company Duderdude 2 ends up working at. :b
Hardees, because if I have to hear the words Thickburgers, and Angus Beef coming from the mough of some slackjawed, mouthbreathing asshat again, I may scream! Their commercials should be banned
Edison Schools, although they seem to be heading towards bankrupcy anyway.
They managed to prove to in the worst Philly schools that things indeed can get…worse.
The idea of taking a bunch of students from bad neighborhoods and teaching them respect and conflict resoultion seems to be a valiant one. However cutting the security staff from day one resulted in these schools becoming war zones. Folks, you are not in Kansas anymore. It’s nice to know that the safety of students is less important than a nice looking budget.
This company can’t die fast enough.
Hahahaha… oh, that was lovely. I guess someone forgot to tell the hospital department I worked for until a year ago, who decided to try to stem their bleeding of funds not by getting a different billing company - as the one they’d changed to a few years ago completely sucked at collecting outstanding bills - but rather by laying off a support staff member from each division. I was the more experienced one in my division (and thus making more money I suspect) and the department picked me. My division’s head made a stink about it, taking it all the way up to the CEO, but nope, no dice. Costs had to be cut. At my going-away party, everyone in my department was saying some variation on “we’re screwed.”
Admittedly, it ended up being the best thing that happened to me only because I had time to look for a good job which I finally got, but the months of being unemployed grated on me. Yup, I spent nearly a half a year unemployed, even with stellar recommendation letters and a nice resume. I have friends who’ve been off work much longer.