Computer users - criminals, moral defectives and morons

In My Humble Opinion
1

This is intended as a combination of minor rant and historical inquiry.

How did it become standard practice for computer programmers to write messages castigating users for less-than-perfect usage of their PCs?

The classic of this genre is the message you get when, say, you haven’t updated your browser to Netscape XXXVIII, try to access a website with fancy graphics (or maybe just the latest in pop-up ads), and cause a hamster stampede, with the resultant message proclaiming that your computer has Committed An Illegal Act And Must Be Shut Down.

I have long since stopped looking over my shoulder for the PC Police when that occurs, but still get other messages of a similar type. One piece of business software used widely in my field sends me snotty messages when I scroll to the bottom or top of a document, i.e. “Attempt to go past the top (bottom) of page”. Why not just say “Top of page” (or nothing at all, seeing as most folks will get the idea that the scrolling has ceased), instead of implying that the user is “attempting” to get away with something? What are they worried that I be able to access if I get past the top of the page? The Forbidden Lore of the Jedi?Madonna’s Underwear Drawer? Why the warning?

And there’s the time-sensitive job site which, to be sure, does contain sensitive personal data and which I access often in the course of work. I realize that you shouldn’t be able to leave access dangling open on your PC for all manner of prowling thieves to access. But if you leave it open past the allotted period without use and try to come back to it, why have a message which says “This Browser Must Be Closed Before Using Again!” - why not “For security reasons, please close the browser and then reopen it”.

In short, why all the pissant warnings? Isn’t it time for software writers to stop acting like constipated schoolmarms and treat users with more respect?

2

Huh? “Top of page” is acceptable, but the phrase “attempt to go past the” is a horrible insult? I don’t get it. You almost remind me of the classic story of the guy who thought “Invalid Operation” was the computer’s way of calling him an invalid (as in handicapped).

Because people will ignore the polite warning. They’ll get away with something stupid once, then take that as an indication that the warning was pointless fluff. Then when something finally does go wrong, they get angry and blame the programmers or the IT guys for their own idiocy and failure to follow instructions.

Isn’t it time for users to stop acting like clueless children who actually need schoolmarms?

3

I think you are misunderstanding the messages. An “Illegal Operation” means an operation which is not allowed or possible for the computer to do, like writing in the wrong part of memory. It has nothing to do with lawyers (although I know a stupid lawyer who asked me the same question).

4

But why did Microsoft / Intel / IBM choose to say “illegal operation” rather than “program error” or “hardware problem”?

Of course, Apple chose error messages more like “oopsie!” and “uh-oh” but had to put that bomb graphic onscreen, scaring the pants off unsuspecting users.

5

Nope, sailor, I understand the “illegal operation” message just fine. The part I think is stupid is the jargonesque reference to “illegality”, a form of miscommunication even dumber than the famous warning of the dire penalties that will ensue if you remove your mattress tag

**quote:

But if you leave it open past the allotted period without use and try to come back to it, why have a message which says “This Browser Must Be Closed Before Using Again!” - why not “For security reasons, please close the browser and then reopen it”.
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Because people will ignore the polite warning. They’ll get away with something stupid once, then take that as an indication that the warning was pointless fluff. Then when something finally does go wrong, they get angry and blame the programmers or the IT guys for their own idiocy and failure to follow instructions.
The nature of these time-sensitive shutdowns is that they are automatic, leaving the user no choice but to leave and re-enter. No one is “getting away” with anything (sheesh, talk about the pseudo-law enforcement frame of mind in action).

neutron star, if you are an “IT guy”, ask yourself why it is necessary for people in the industry to incorporate these little dictatorial statements into the software. While I doubt such lapses in civility grievously offend many people, they don’t exactly contribute to a kindly, respectful attitude toward IT workers on the part of users.

One other favorite: I have a backup PC that developed an aversion to following the shutoff sequence, frequently burping and freezing up, necessitating use of the (shudder) power off button.* Sometimes (but not always), the PC Genie will detect the non-regulation shutoff and throw a fit the next time I power on, warning me that “Because the computer was not properly shut off, your files may be corrupted and vermin could be running rampant through your hard drive. Please put your life on hold for the next 10 minutes while Scan Disk sloooooowly peruses your files as punishment. Do not go to the bathroom or out to the kitchen to make a sandwich. We will know if you do.
To avoid seeing this message, do not be a bad boy ever again.”

(O.K., I’m paraphrasing just a bit here).

*Scarily, sometimes the Genie will refuse to obey the “off” button, forcing me to pull the plug. I am worried that one day, in true Steven King fashion, the power will stay on even if I unplug the machine. At which point I will speedily evacuate the premises.

6

Because “illegal operation” is just one of many possible program errors. (And it isn’t a hardware fault.) The error message is being more specific and helps the software company track it down when they get bug reports.

7

I’m actually OK with all of the messages mentioned above. Except for, maybe, the “Because the computer was not shut down properly…” message - only because I didn’t deliberately shut down Windows improperly…Windows crashed!

(Thankfully, with Windows XP, I haven’t crashed in over a year.)

The ones I hate - HATE! - are the snarky ones from software that wants you to update. Take, for example, MusicMatch. I don’t want to upgrade it, since it does what I want it to and I don’t need to use it for anything else. But any time I open it, it gives me these options:

-Yes! Upgrade me now!

-No, I like using outdated software.

(Emphasis mine.) It really says this! And it makes me furious! In any case, it only makes me less likely to upgrade.

Disclaimer: I may be a word or two off with the MusicMatch message - I’m at work and don’t have it here. But, I know I’m quite close.

8

You can just cancel the Scandisk operation.

Programmers aren’t usually customer service people, so often those aspects of program interface design get shoved off to the wayside. I think it’s getting better over time though.

9

Well, I didn’t know the specifics of your situation. I was more generally referring to users doing stupid things that they’ve been repeatedly told not to do. I was also thinking more along the lines of IT people scolding users for these behaviors, rather than the content of the actual error messages themselves. Obviously, that’s not what your OP was about. I must be a little scatterbrained today. Sorry about that.

Well, sometimes the dictatorial statements add extra detail that could be helpful. We all know how many people are utterly clueless and incompetant with computers, despite being intelligent and successful in other areas of life. I once had a boss call me into his office because he couldn’t see the bottom of a Word document. I actually had to teach him how to scroll down the page! And this guy had already been using his computer for a couple of months!

I, for one, have never come across an error message that I thought was inappropriate. The one in your OP (“This Browser Must Be Closed Before Using Again!”) doesn’t even strike me as particularly bad. It uses forceful language that a user would be more likely to notice. Start talking about security issues and you’ll quickly see the users’ eyes glaze over with boredom. They just don’t care. Several people in my company use the same login and password for domain access. Most of the rest use six-letter dictionary words.

For an uneducated, uncaring user, big exclamation marks and dire, unspecified, warnings can be a great tactic. The thought of a potential security breach doesn’t weigh too heavily on their minds, but a non-functioning computer is something every worker is concerned about.

10

You should see what they say about you behind your back.

No, really. This summer I’m working customer service/basic tech help at a DSL provider, and in the files one occasionally sees things like “faulty wetware” or “id-10T.”

11

Back in pre-PC days, we had minicomputers from Digital Equipment Corp. (DEC). Our regular maintenance guy had forms he had to fill out following each service call. Every problem had a specific code on the form. So, for example, a faulty power supply was a code 15, a bad cooling fan was a code 24, etc. His favorite, however, was code 47, which was defined by the service techs as “loose nut at the terminal.” He had to use that one a lot.

12

If you use the power off button (by choice or by necessity) or if the computer crashes, it really is likely that files get corrupted. I don’t know how useful scandisk is for recovering lost data, but it does recover the space on your hard drive that would otherwise be wasted by garbage.

But you probably knew that. You just object to having a machine accuse you of impropriety when it’s the one that’s acting up. Yeah, they probably could have phrased those error messages better.

I think it was Fierra that said, “Don’t anthropomorphize your computer - They hate that!”