I’m a simple man. I don’t ask much from life. So today after work, when it’s 65 degrees and sunny, what could be better then a bicycle ride around one of the many bike trails in this fair city. So I arrive to my apartment after a hard day in cubicle-hell, and immediately change into some workout gear. Grab my helmet, hop on the bike, and away I go.
The first 25 minutes are like heaven. Just me, my bike, and the trail. My worries from work are a distant memory, and my legs are in that workout-burning-in-a-good-way phase. Things are looking up.
Until…
something starts making an awful racket in my rear tire. Thinking I have something caught in my spokes, I quickly come to a stop. And then I see it: a 3-inch nail sticking directly into the tread of my tire. F - U - C - K. I pull out said nail, and my tire promptly deflates. Now, I’m about 6 miles from home, and of course I do not have my patch kit with me. Double F-U-C-K.
Long story short, I do manage to find a friend to come pick me up so I don’t have to walk the 6 miles back to my place. However, by this point the sunlight is dwindling rapidly, thus bringing the first nice afternoon in several days to a rather unsatisfying conclusion. And now I have to buy a new tire for my bike, since this nail decided to damage the tire enough that it is no longer rideable.
Now, to the nail: Fuck you, you used up, rusted to hell worthless waste of resources. You are nothing more then the leftover lingering remnants the fart of some ancient supernova. You have nothing useful to contribute to society. You will spend the rest of your days rusting into nothingness, completely forgotten and lonely. If there is a hell for nails, you will spend all of eternity being pounded into knots in the lumber of Satan’s personal outhouse.
My first pitting, be gentle
Argh! That had to suck. At least you were able to get ahold of someone to pick you up. Walking a bike for six miles does not sound like fun to me. Can’t you get a little tool kit that velcros under your seat? Put your patch kit, allan wrenches, sprocket, spoke tool etc. in there, just in case, and have some “emergency funds” and id on you. (As if you didn’t know, but some people on this board may not.) Glad you got home safely at least.
I have a relative who was an avid bicycle racer. He raced distance races of 110 miles, and also downhill mountain biking. (He took 16th in his age division in the Gor Tek downhill race many years ago.)
He pounded many safety biking rules into my head. I didn’t get into long distance biking, but I know the rules, and went on long rides with him.
/flashback
“ALWAYS WEAR YOUR HELMET!!!”
“Always have tools with you to fix the bike”
“Know how to take apart, and re-assemble your (racing) bike”
“It’s not a matter of IF you get in an accident, but WHEN, so be wary of other vehicles.”
“Having energy food, and water on you is a must”
“Wear your medic alert bracelt”
“Have id, and emergency funds on you.”
“Proper attire is a must, wear easily removable layers in cooler weather. Clothes should dry quickly, and not get caught in the machinery, or impede movement. Ideally biking shorts/pants should be worn to prevent chafing. Silly as it looks, have a fanny pack to carry food, money, id etc.”
flashback/
All these years later, and I can still see his face, and hear his earnest voice as he taught me these things. Kinda cool… Thanks, big bro.
A house is being built on the lot across the street from my house. Two weeks ago, I ran over a screw just as I was turning into my driveway late at night. I could hear the hissing sound as I got out of my car.
The next day, I checked the tire. It wasn’t flat, but it was definitely down. So I searched until I found the screw. Because it was a screw, rather than a nail, it took some serious yanking with pliers before I could detach it. The tire immediately deflated. I keep some of that fix-a-flat stuff in my trunk for just such an emergency, but unfortunately the hole was too large for the stuff to work. I watched the entire can of hole-patching stuff flow into the tire through the inflation nozzle and back out through the hole in the tire.
Sauron, I’ve been there too. Only my experience was driving from Colombia, Missouri to Des Moines, Iowa. At 10:30 at night, on a Saturday, about 50 miles outside of Colombia. Two cans of fix-a-flat failed to work, and the only spare this car had was one of those worthless-piece-of-shit doughnut tires. Which we put on the car and drove all the way back to Des Moines (200-some miles IIRC) in the middle of the night. Not exactly my idea of a good time.
Zabali, I do have a patch kit, but unfortunately I left it sitting in my closet at home. :smack: :smack: :smack: There’s one mistake I’ll never repeat again. But I’m not sure it would’ve been much help, as I think the nail damaged the tire enough that it will probably necessitate replacement.
And perhaps I’ll take the opportunity whilst getting my tire repaired to expand my selection of bike tools.
I was in the mountains on the weekend to enjoy the views, do some horseback riding, and enjoy the mineral springs at the end of the day.
I was loading my van on Sunday morning in preparation to go back up to the hot springs and noticed that my rear tire was flat.
After putting on the weenie spare (I don’t like to drive 55) and backtracking 30 miles back into civilization the culprit was found to be a tiny sliver of brass coloured metal that looked very much like the nib off of a ballpoint pen.
The fountain pen guy (me) was actually highly amused that I was taken out by such an item and it gave me final proof that ballpoints are indeed the work of satan.
I seem to get one at least once a month.
Glad you got home safely at least.