Confessions of a Thread Hijacker

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Y’know, taping and threatening to divulge details would probably have been a wonderful idea. If I hadn’t already told the story to most of the people that I have to face on a regular basis. And if I’m willing to tell them, then I have no problem telling anyone who may read my postings.

Damn. I’m probably assuring myself that there will be no liquor forthcoming. I should probably work on my quiet, enigmatic schtick.

And yes, the international tales do involve other potables from far-away lands. Although I would sooner emasculate myself with a spoon than to drink CC.

Waste
Flick Lives!

62

You could improve your chances of getting liquor by providing a few details. Please note any of the below that were involved in your story:

Farm animals
Straws
Piercings
Women named “Jock”
A boy named “Sue”
Zombies
Road rash
Any major or minor deity
Hallucinations of any major or minor deity
No deities, but repeated proclamations of “Oh God!”
One-eyed midgets
General nudity
Specific nudity
Recreational substances
Recreational substances being consumed in recreational areas during recreational activities
National guard being called
Tear gas
Trampolines
Consuming of any non-food item
Waking up in compromising positions with no memory of the event
Waking up in compromising positions with memory of the event, no matter how hard you try to forget

Your answers will be judged and an amount of alcohol considered worthy of the story shall be assigned. Thank you.

63

Lib, I think that’s a perfectly reasonable solution! It would not only allow us to be honest, but peaceful as well. (What a notion, huh?)

64

What, are you still talking about that, RT? This thread is about my navel ring and GL’s drunken escapades. Please try to stay on-topic.

65

You say you have a lens built into your navel ring? Sounds kinky to me. But if peaceful honest people want to be kinky, they should be able to do that without government interference, and I sure hope they invite me to join them. :stuck_out_tongue:

“Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign

66

I think that if I were to invite you to get kinky with me, the other peaceful honest female in your life might just kick your peaceful honest ass out the peaceful honest door. All without government interference, of course.

67

Farm animals - Well, animals, anyway

Straws - What? Did I look like that much of a deve?

Piercings - You mean alcohol related piercings? Ya gotta help me out here.

Women named “Jock” - Lemme see. . .nope, I’m out on this one. Only recall one woman named “Jock”

A boy named “Sue” - That’s the last time I tell anyone my middle name.

Zombies - Well, yeah. And also some of the drinks that go by that name, too.

Road rash - On me? Or on the road?

Any major or minor deity - Oh yeah! They all spoke to me that night. Course, I was too drunk to remember what they said.

Hallucinations of any major or minor deity - I didn’t think to ask them. Mebbe next time. Although, Odin did have the giggles.

No deities, but repeated proclamations of “Oh God!” - Before, during, and after, yes.

One-eyed midgets - I knew I shoulda been counting.

General nudity - Well, he said that he was in the service.

Specific nudity - Of whom? Me? I would never subject anyone to such a horrifying image.

Recreational substances - Where? Oh, you mean did I use them. The answer is yes.

Recreational substances being consumed in recreational areas during recreational activities - Dunno, you’ll hafta define “recreational” for me.

National guard being called - I honestly don’t remember. But it’s certainly a possibility.

Tear gas - Y’know, I wondered why I spent so much time sobbing.

Trampolines - Nope. Too damnably cold.

Consuming of any non-food item - Like what? Does a park bench count? How about a barcalounger?

Waking up in compromising positions with no memory of the event - Get the hell away from my diary!

Waking up in compromising positions with memory of the event, no matter how hard you try to forget - You heard me. . .

Your answers will be judged and an amount of alcohol considered worthy of the story shall be assigned. Thank you.

Oh great! Another test! Look, I keep telling you Marines that I don’t want to fight any more lava monsters.

Waste
Flick Lives!

68

Are you implying that you ate a barcalounger? What, not getting enough fiber? Irresistable appetite for nauseatingly ugly fabrics?

69

RTF said:

Damn! Now I’m wishing I’d looked a little bit more closely at that thing! But I was trying not to be rude after staring at her chest earlier (I claimed I was looking at the National Honor Society pin on her jacket; I think I fooled her). Then again, I spent part of the evening throwing things at the chests of ChrisCTP and Valerie…

70

No, David…I didn’t share my tattoo. Mainly because I would have had to get undressed to do it. (And man…wouldn’t our waitress have LOVED that???)

71

I was wondering what the heck was so facinating about that thing. :wink: I was mildy embarrassed it was still on there; it’s like wearing your high school class ring.

72

Falcon: So you’d have had to get undressed – so what? I bet if we’d taken a vote, undressing would have won – and waitresses (especially bitchy ones) don’t get to vote.

Gaudere: Actually, I thought I recognized it as an NHS pin and was wondering why you were still wearing it. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being proud. I don’t know for certain about your job, but we sure as hell never get recognized for anything good at mine!

73

I’m still wearing it because I rarely wore that jacket once I got out of HS; my usual jeans jacket is rather heavily paint and dirt-stained. I had to make a good impression on y’all, you know. The only reason I was in any honor societies (two or three, IIRC) is that they don’t make me go to meetings, give money, or, well, do anything at all.

I got a lucite award thingy at work; very nice, but I get a little wistful when my brother mentions his annual five-figure bonuses and 10 - 15% raises. Sigh

Hard to believe you weren’t persuaded to do that at some point during the drunken debauchery back at the hotel…I bet if anyone had known you had a tattoo, you would have been barricaded in until you showed it. Well, there’s always the next get-together…

74

Gaudere said:

Oooooh. Lucite. Only the very best kiss-ups where I work get lucite awards. I occasionally get a piece of paper – very occasionally. Hell, even when they gave awards to everybody for something, they forgot me! Jeez.

I also have a brother who gets huge bonuses and raises. It’s disgusting. But then, he spends more time flying around the country (or world) than sleeping in his own bed.

75

You actually get paper certificates? Here, they just verbally recognize us at a meeting, and that’s it.

“Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign

76

You get recognized? Oh, man, how I wish I would receive even a warm glance.

Around here, SOP is to walk about, avoiding eye contact with others. Anyone who does well enough to merit even a thought of recognition is shunned, then stoned.

You lucky, lucky people.

Waste
Flick Lives!

77

Hey, they let you walk about?? Here, they chain us to our cubicles, letting us out only for meetings, and morning and afternoon bathroom breaks. :wink:

78

Sorry to hijack, but they unchain you for bathroom breaks??

79

You guys get to have jobs? I have to surf the net and drink coffee at home in my living room. :wink:

“I’ll tell you a secret, baby - maybe you can’t do better - gotta settle for second best” - the Judybats

80

Valerie, if you answer the doorbell one day, and the next thing you know, your face is wearing a cream pie, it’s from us cubicle rats. :slight_smile:

“Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign